Soho, London, Circa 1972-1975

Free Chapters of the Woody Back to School Unit spanking saga are available at the Woodettes Publications Page.

Soho in the nineteen-seventies was a playground for the Young Turk R. Humphries. Even though I was theoretically still legally enrolled in grammar school I had long given up making even a modicum of a display of attending. I doubt that in the prevailing ‘Nanny-State’ culture I would successfully get away with this sort of behavior. Interestingly my parents never suspected that I was a permanent truant and the authorities didn’t seem to care as long as I turned up to play football for the school and performed in gym displays and athletics meets.

An interesting note about Mothers. I was well-over forty years old and was visiting London. My mother had recently attended a funeral of one of my former teachers. Apparently somewhere over the sherries the wife of the piece had informed my mother that ‘you do know that your son never attended school.’

We were sitting down at a rather expensive restaurant over-looking the Thames when my mother considered it appropriate to bring this subject up and berate me over this matter. Well you’ve just got to love them!

Anyway back to Soho. The original Janus shop was in Greens Lane, not far from Greens Park tube station and it was a veritable spanko’s Aladdin’s cave. Now despite my youth I had access to funds. I was something of a footballer and although I was too young to sign professional contracts I was able to earn considerable sums of money for my services. The status of amateur sports has always been rather nebulous and open to abuse. I was recruited by an amateur club run by several local businessmen. It was a successful team and I assume they made considerable amounts of dosh out of the venture. To pay us they merely placed a pencil on the floor of the changing rooms and bet us fifty quid we couldn’t jump over it. This was a veritable kings ransom to a London teenager in the seventies. Do the maths … I could have purchased a hundred copies of Janus a week!

Owners of spanking magazine stores are not much interested in ‘Not for the Sale of Minors’ restrictions, especially if said minor has adequate funds to support his vices. I was never once questioned regarding my age as I proceeded to secure a large collection of spanking material.

My quest was not limited to the Janus outlet. Berwick Street, Dean Street, and Greek Street were filled with street vendors all selling a variety of adult material. I pored through their treasures and became on first name terms with many of them. Underage drinking was enforced about as strongly as the underage porn laws so I often drank with them and made sure they set anything promising aside for my next foray.

I discovered magazines like Slant, which was really off the wall but had the best letters ever written. I had original copies of ‘Bend over Bunty’ and ‘the Caning of Christine’. Classics never since repeated.

Sadly this era of my life came to a sad end. I had my collection stashed in my wardrobe in my parent’s house. My parents were fairly liberal in many ways and knew better than to poke around in an adolescent’s bedroom. Sadly my Nan had no such compunctions regarding youthful privacy. For reasons I have long forgotten I was evicted from my room to sleep on the living room floor in a sleeping bag so Nan that could stay over. The following day I was confronted with my illicit contraband that she had discovered and despite my protestations these now priceless treasures were ceremonially burned by my mother.

You’ve got to love them! 

Don’t Forget – Free Chapters of the Woody Back to School Unit spanking saga are available at the Woodettes Publications Page.