Bare Benders and the Swishes and Thwacks of a Well-Crafted Cane

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The sound of a well-crafted cane swishing through the air and ultimately thwacking off a pair of tautened navy blue gossamer bumbags has always been music to the ears of R Humphries. Call me old fashioned but what can be better than the vision of a neatly clobbered up gal, bent over the back of a chair, with her skirt neatly turned back, her bumbags tightly stretched, while she waits to find out … are they staying up or are they coming down?

Personally I like to leave the ceremonial lowering of the bumbags until the last moment. By this time My Beloved Jojo will have been bent over the back of the chair for almost a full minute and is still hopeful that they’re staying up. Even the ever-stoic Jojo can’t help groaning a little when I reach into the elastic waistband and begin to slowly lower them. She assures me that even the most threadbare pair of bumbags will marginally reduce the sting as compared to the cane slicing across her bare flesh.

At the Woody Back to School unit bare benders, as they are known amongst the Woody Wags, are delivered in the privacy of the principal’s office.

Of course like everything else at the Woody facility visits to the principal’s office are steeped in rituals. The process is initiated by the official presentation of a red card. At Woody’s all members of the Brass and the Elite carry red and yellow cards like soccer referees and can issue them any time of the night or day. A yellow card is used as a final warning that any further violations will result in whops. They are most generally used in the lecture rooms by the Dame’s trying to maintain order amongst the rambunctious inmates.

In general the Dames and the members of the Elite are quite content to take care of business themselves, bending the inmates over in the lecture rooms or dispatching them to wait outside the punishment room. However, there are a number of rules and regulations where violation is classified as zero-tolerance and a trip upstairs to the principal’s office is mandatory.

Before presenting themselves for punishment a gal is required to pay a visit to Miss Katie Beck for bottom inspection. This part of the process is particularly despised by the inmates. Katie acts as the Unit Matron and personal assistant to the principal. She is an odious individual whose primary raison d’être is to make life unpleasant for the inmates.

In a dastardly coup she persuades Ms Lawton that it would be prudent for her to inspect the unfortunate inmate’s rear end prior to punishment. She claims that this is a health and safety issue and that she is merely confirming that the inmates behind is in suitable shape to endure a licking. In reality Katie just uses the inspections as an opportunity to be beastly.

She forces the inmates to wait in the ante-room attached to her office, bent over a desk with their skirts turned back and their bumbags around their ankles. Katie takes her own sweet time and often leaves the luckless inmates sprawled out in this undignified pose for five minutes or more. When she finally deigns to appear to perform the inspection she takes the opportunity to prod, poke and pinch the upturned derriere and get a few spanks in herself.

It is by no means uncommon for a Woody Gal to present her bottom showing clear signs of a recent altercation with the canes, straps or slippers wielded by the Brass. Theoretically Miss Beck has the right to invoke a postponement. However, even when she has been presented with a raw and swollen pair of orbs nobody at the unit can remember a single instance when she did not certify a bottom as in perfect shape for a whopping.

Once the indignity of inspection has been completed and the gal has corrected her clothing she is sent next door to the principal’s office. In the event that the principal is unavailable or otherwise engaged caning another miscreant the inmate is obliged to turn and face the wall on the landing and perform nose and toes with her hands on her head. Katie’s desk is strategically positioned so that she can monitor the nose and toes session. The inmate’s nose must be physically touching the wall and at no time may her elbows make contact with the wood-paneling. Even the most minor of infringement of the protocols will result in the inmate being made an appointment for the following morning to have her circulation kick-started with one of Katie’s leather-soled slippers.

Once the principal is available the inmate enters the study and is required to stand to attention three feet from the desk while they explain the reason for their visit.

When Ms Lawton was Grand Dame she had no time for excuses. Once an inmate informed her that “I’ve been sent up for the cane” she merely wanted to hear the facts. She had no time for whining and whingeing and could get extremely shirty if she suspected an inmate was trying to wriggle out of getting whops.

Ms Lawton was the mistress of the barbed tongue. The inmates suspected that she stayed up late at night poring over ancient tomes and lexicons in search of new and withering ways to denounce acts of malfeasance. Although she rarely raised her voice her acid tongue and gimlet glare was enough to make even the most hardened veteran feel like she had been mauled by an alley-cat by the time the scolding was over.

Since the Grand Dame’s retirement and the appointment of Mr Humphries as Grand Master the pre-punishment interviews have taken on a more cordial air. He patiently listens to the earnest entreaties of the inmates as they explain that their misbehavior might have been misunderstood. Nonetheless, despite his more open-minded approach it is highly improbable that the interview will not end with the inmate being requested to, “Remove your blazer and bend over the chair.”

The straight-backed chair in front of the fireplace has been a landmark in the Woody principal’s office since its days as a grand and exclusive private boarding school. Thousands of gals have stared down at the red-cushioned seat while their clothing was being rearranged and they waited to be caned.

The traditional bare bender is comprised of six of the best, which the Woody Gals consider to be perfectly adequate (see The Perfect Six of the Best). However at the outset of Operation Scorched Arse life suddenly got a whole lot hotter for a handful of the most notorious mega-minxes.

Poor Debs Morton was the first inmate to become a victim of the new regime. An ill-timed show of belligerence resulted in her dizzying descent from being the golden gal and the apple of Ms Lawton’s eye to Public Enemy Number One and the Grand Dames bête noire. As a result of her belligerent behavior she is sentenced to a double bare bender, a punishment previously strictly limited to members of the Elite who happened to need to be beaten.

After Deborah makes an ill-fated attempt at revenge Ms Lawton informs her that this will become her standard punishment until such time as her attitude is properly corrected, making her the founding member of what would become known as the Double Berkeley Society to the Woody Wags. The society was named after the famous flagellant Theresa ‘Six of the Best’ Berkeley.

Deborah does not remain the sole member of the exclusive society for very long. She is shortly joined by the other members of the Famous Four, Jojo, Nixdown and Rosemary Booker, as the Grand Dame declares war on the bumbags of the mega-minxes. As the inmates respond to the austere regime with an unprecedented epidemic of mischief and mayhem the leaders of the cult of mega-minxes soon find themselves being enrolled in the Double Berkeley Society.

When Mr Humphries officially declares an end to Operation Scorched Arse he sees no reason to close down the society and throughout the saga membership continues to flourish as the cult of mega-minxes continues to grow and competition of the Bottoms Up Table of Troublemakers heats up to a frenetic pace.

My Beloved Jojo always becomes rather coy when the subject of Double Berkeley’s is raised. She claims that she is a traditional gal and reminds me of the Woody adage that six of the best is always the best.

Bottoms Up and Bumbags Down! … RH

Don’t Forget – Free Chapters of the Woody Back to School Unit spanking saga are available at the Woodettes Publications Page.