The Naughtiest Gal in the Unit was a Prefect

For reasons best known to themselves an obscure rock band, who were active during the 1980’s around Sheffield in the North of England, chose to perform under the name, ‘The Naughtiest Girl in the School was a Monitor’. The name is derived from the vintage Enid Blyton books from the 1940’s and 50’s. I have never read these particular books but I doubt that they contained any spanking material. That being said, if memory serves me correctly, in her Famous Five series Blyton often made references to Georgina (George as she preferred to be called), the tomboy of the piece, being dispatched to visit the ill-tempered Uncle Quentin over at the lighthouse which one might assume was the equivalent of visiting the woodshed. Who knows?

Anyway if obscure rock bands can plagiarize the revered Blyton then so can R Humphries which quite naturally prompted me to write an episode called ‘The Naughtiest Gal in the Unit was a Prefect’ in the Woody Back to School Unit stories.

Of course, as usual, the unfortunate recipient of this honor is poor old Debs Morton. The inmates of the facility have returned from furlough and Deborah is entering the seventh and final year of her social rehabilitation program. The Phase 7 gals are inducted into a prestigious corps known as the Elite.

As my readers are aware R Humphries is fascinated (obsessed?) by rituals so I created a ceremony where the twelve new prefects are ‘Thrashed into the Elite’. During this ceremony the new Elite are required to bend over a training beam in the gymnasium for twelve strokes of the cane. Theoretically these gals have been satisfactorily socially rehabilitated and should not require much in the way of further discipline. The twelfth stroke of the cane rebounding off their shuddering nates is known to the Woody Wags as the ‘Final Kiss’.

However, Deborah quickly discovers that the final kiss might not be all that final as her mercurial behavior causes her to require corporal punishment three times during her first week in office.

My Beloved Jojo observes that the male species have one thing in common, a fascination with twins, blondes and Scandinavians’. R Humphries thinks that for spanko’s of my particular tastes you should add school prefects to the list.

I first became fascinated with school prefects, or more accurately, the Head Girl back in my schooldays. At the school that my girlfriend attended the appointment of the Head Girl was a democratic process and highly competitive. As it turned out the process was about as democratic as an Iranian election (ripped from the headlines … nobody can accuse R Humphries of not being on the ball!). My girlfriend ‘J’ volunteered to act as campaign manager for a renegade candidate whose candidacy was strongly opposed to by the Head Mistress.

J’s reasoning was simple. The Head Mistress’s favored candidate had once sneaked on her for being out of bounds and had caused her to spend a week in after-school detention. J predicted that this prissy swat would become a despot if she was appointed into the prestigious position.

We were both in our mid-teens and took ourselves ever so seriously. J worked tirelessly for her candidate and I modeled myself as the Eminence Grise, plotting and planning with her in the evenings. It was dirty politics of the highest order and we looked like we might pull-it off and win a landslide victory. Unfortunately it all went pear-shaped when J’s candidate got caught smoking in the local park and was unceremoniously kicked out of the election. All we achieved was making J extremely unpopular with the Head Mistress and the arch-enemy of the newly appointed Head Girl.

Fortunately for J the school she attended did not practice corporal punishment otherwise her bumbags would have been severely endangered. Nonetheless, she spent a miserable year being picked on by the odious Head Prefect and her sycophantic serfs.

Aside from providing R Humphries with an in-depth insight into the intricacies of the democratic process the immensely amusing campaign supplied me with invaluable material for my stories.

At the Woody Back to School Unit the Elite play a significant role. Outside of the lecture rooms it is the group of prefects who are charged with administering the facility and maintaining control over the rambunctious inmates.

They are issued with whippy ashplant canes which they must carry at all times tucked under their left arms. They are armed with red cards that they can shove in the faces of the hapless inmates and dispatch them to the punishment room for six of the best (see ‘Outside the Punishment Room Waiting to be Caned’ and ‘The Punishment Room’).

It is a system that has huge potential for abuse and throughout my books the mega-minxes are engaged in a running battle with the heinous Secret Sorority of Serial Spankers, aka the ‘SS’. It is always fun to write unscrupulous and disreputable characters because you can christen them with nicknames such as ‘The Ice Maiden’, ‘Mitch the Bitch, and ‘Ivan the Terrible’.

There is a huge body of data available regarding the responsibility of prefects to beat their sub-ordinates at such male bastions as Eton, Harrow and Rugby but not much evidence regarding the same systems existing at female boarding schools is available. However, in an interview I read years ago (but that I have never been able to find on the internet) the wonderful actress Juliet Stephenson was asked whether she remembered a certain member of the royal family from school. She tantalizingly replied that they were several years apart at school (Juliet being older) and that she would only have had reason to associate with her if it had been necessary to give her a thrashing. Make of that what you will.

The whole concept of prefects caning other gals and prefects being caned fascinates me so I couldn’t resist the temptation to roll-out (or roll-down to be more precise) poor old Debs bumbags and make her the first prefect in the unit’s history to (temporarily) reside at the top of the Annual Hall of Shame. Ergo, the Naughtiest Gal in the Unit was a Prefect!

Bottoms Up! … RH

Don’t Forget – Free Chapters of the Woody Back to School Unit spanking saga are available at the Woodettes Publications Page.