The Skin-Sucking Spatula and Good Uses for Miscellaneous Kitchen Utensils

For a resourceful spanko the ordinary household kitchen is an often over-looked treasure trove of spanking toys. I was first alerted to this potential plethora of play-things by a reader’s letter in a journal catering to matters regarding our particular tastes.

In this letter a young newly-wed complained (or boasted) that failures in the kitchen often resulted in a trip over her husband’s knee for a spanking with a wooden spoon. At the time I was still living at home and the kitchen was very much my mother’s domain. Nonetheless, when nobody was about the ever inquisitive R Humphries paid a visit to test out the wares.

I located a long-handled Mrs Beaton spoon and tried it out by whapping it down on my left hand. Why do we do that? It’s nuts! After leaving a large red burn mark on my palm I concluded that there was scope for future investigation but that it would be prudent to continue any further experimentations on the specie so aptly described as being ‘born broad of beam and perfectly designed for absorbing six of the best’.

Over the years My Beloved Jojo and I have accumulated a number of treasures including a Peruvian Spoon from the Northern Andes that is perfect for detailed over the knee work and a particular, very cheap spatula that Jojo insists seems to weld to her bum upon contact and feels as if it sucks a layer of skin off as it is withdrawn.

In the following extract from the soon to be published Volume 10 – The Grand Finale Jojo and her best chum Nixdown face off in the semi-final of the Great Spank-off and their resolve is sorely tested by an array of kitchen utensils. Enjoy and if you like the extract go to the Woodettes Storefront and BUY the BOOKS … lol.

On Friday evening the Grand Master invited the four remaining spank-off contestants for a fancy meal in town. Mr Humphries bought Jojo a beautiful rust colored dress, a distressed denim jacket and some funky-fringed suede boots especially for the occasion. She liked the way outfit complimented her huge blue eyes and vivid red hair and she proudly threaded her arm through her beau’s as they entered the restaurant. Not to be outdone the other gals had excitedly donned their swankiest modes and every head in the room turned as the four beauties were escorted to their flower-laden table.

The Bounder had spent the whole week taking a myriad of complex bets; she had been so busy that she had been caned twice for not attending to her studies. Bernadette had given Jojo a slight edge over Nix and had made Lady Vix the clear favorite to end Cassie’s run. The seeding had provoked much debate and while the Grand Master poured them champagne and fed them oysters the gals merried themselves by teasing one another about their prospects in the up coming bouts.

Despite the competitiveness between the four chums there was an absence of bitchiness during the over dinner banter. As Nix squiffily pointed out, in full earshot of a shocked waiter, win or lose there was only one thing certain and that was that there was going to be four very hot bottoms by the end of the following night’s extravaganza.

The Great Hall filled quickly. Bernadette Summers Enterprises was selling front row seats on a first come first served basis and for a small fee had enlisted Rachel Cox, Claire Brooks and Amanda San Pierre to keep order in the queue.

The Gardiner Twins had again been recruited to take any last minute bets, and Heidi Alexander and Linda Ash were offering trays of drinks and nibbles to the gals as they waited in line to buy their tickets.

The excitement mounted as the gals hurried through the doors and expectantly took their seats. The Woody gals were looking forward to a fine night of whopping.

Jojo flinched as the wooden spatula landed slap bang on the middle of her arse. This was a tough start to Wooden Saturday. Momentarily the utensil seemed to fuse with her skin, taking a layer of flesh with it as it retracted. Jojo had been spanked with the wooden spatula on several occasions and was familiar with its gruesome sting. However, every time the Domestic Science instructor had put her over her knee she had at least been extended the protection of her (albeit threadbare) bumbags. She was completely unprepared for the flesh burning effects of the wooden spatula on her bare bottom.

Mr Humphries had hit upon the idea of Wooden Saturday during a routine staff review with the Domestic Science instructor. While they were discussing Dotty Hammell’s disciplinary record he noticed that she may not be the most prolific disciplinarian on the staff but she was certainly amongst the most ingenious. He was greatly amused by the variety of kitchen implements she had applied to the backsides of delinquent kitchen staff.

“Hmm …” he thought to himself, “I’m going to cook me some arse,” and headed for the kitchen.

Jojo’s arse was certainly cooking. Every sharp slap of the spatula seemed to singe her skin but she was determined to lie still, however much she wanted to hop up. She wanted Nix to be as unprepared as she had been when that first important slap made impact.

Mr Humphries spanked his lover with consummate authority. He had her well tucked in; his left hand around her waist, just above the waistline of her pleated skirt, with her bottom perched up proud in the perfect spanking configuration. Smacking her bottom with crisp wristy blows on alternate cheeks and allowing a goodly burn-in period between smacks. By the time he had given her a full dozen her backside looked like grilled lobster and she needed little encouragement to dismount from his lap and put considerable distance between her and the spatula.

“Jesus H Christ,” breathed Nixdown as the first flames licked her arse. Like Jojo, Nix had been known to goof off when on kitchen duty and on one occasion had had the opportunity to familiarize herself with the spatula, but also like Jojo six whaps on the bumbags from Ms Hammell hardly prepared her for a full blooded bare bottom assault from Mr Humphries. With the advantage of having nothing to hide Nix availed of the opportunity to get lively. She wriggled and squirmed in the Grand Master’s lap and kicked her legs energetically. Mr Humphries held her down firmly and continued the whapping without allowing himself to be distracted by Nix’s gymnastics.

After the Grand Master had helped her to her feet Nicola Jane and Jojo exchanged apprehensive glances. Things clearly did not bode well for their poor beleaguered bums.

For his next trick Mr Humphries introduced a wooden spoon into the proceedings. As Joanna quickly found out this was not the ordinary off the shelf wooden spoon that Ms Hammell occasionally beat her with, the spoon that he produced had been custom made from an especially unforgiving wood found in the upper Andes. The well-formed head had a flattened bottom and packed plenty of punch. It was a spoon ideally suited for repetition work, which Mr Humphries demonstrated to excellent effect, targeting the sweet spot of Jojo’s luscious arse and drubbing it six times in quick succession first on one cheek then turning his attention to the other. Jojo felt no necessity to lie still through this bombardment and she soon found herself nose to the wood work with her blouse out of her skirt and her feet unable to touch the floor.

Nixdown tried to feign nonchalance.

“We’re gonna be sniffin’ a lot of floor tonight,” she grinned as Jojo hobbled away from the Grand Master. But no sooner had Mr Humphries got busy with her backside her nonchalance visibly evaporated and the extent of her agitation became evident. Nix was a gal who liked having her bottom smacked but she found nothing entertaining or sensual about being whapped with kitchen utensils. The constant pounding on the same spot was excruciating and she had to pluck up all her courage to keep from springing out of Mr Humphries’ lap. Somehow she managed to keep her head down and her bottom in the firing line but every smack was draining her resolve and confidence.

The paying punters had paid substantial bucks to watch the facility’s closest chums competing against each other. Nix had won the respect of the whole unit with her remarkable victories over the Bounder and Debs but the consensus of opinion was that she would meet her match in the legendary Jojo.

As reigning All-Time Big BUTT Joanna Heyworth was the idol of many of the inmates of the Woody Back to School unit; beautiful, talented, charming, witty and unbelievably naughty. She was an icon and inspiration to the mega-minxes.

The first two spankings had been extremely taxing and Jojo and Nix exchanged nervous glances as they waited for Mr Humphries to produce his next instrument.

During his forage into the kitchens Mr Humphries had come across a number of utensils that he thought might be appropriate for Wooden Saturday. One being a small-headed spoon that he felt might be appropriate for detailed work. He had Jojo across his knee for an experimental session and had been greatly enthused by the results. Jojo agreed that when he worked inside her thighs and up and down her crack she found the experience highly erotic; especially when he rapped her pooper and sent tingling sensations throughout her nether regions. However, Jojo was unambiguous in her objections to including detailed work in the Spank-off. It was one thing having one’s bottom bared in front of a horde of screaming inmates but quite another having your cheeks spread apart to display your most intimate body parts. Besides, she told him, she was not keen at all on him doing detailed work on Nix or Vix or Cassie. Mr Humphries was disappointed but he was sympathetic to her entreaties and had summonsed Dotty Hammell to the kitchen to seek out an alternative utensil.

As Jojo approached him he produced his alternative. Ms Hammell had found a flapjack flipper tucked away in a drawer. The handcrafted flipper was carved from the downed limbs of the hardwoods found in the North West of the United States and was about thirteen inches long and as thick as a finger. Its long barked handle was attached to a beautifully grained circular head.

“Holy shit!” Dotty had exclaimed. “Now this will make them sit up and take notice!”

“Holy shit,” breathed Jojo. The flapjack flipper came as a complete surprise. She thought she was familiar with every lethal weapon in the Grand Master’s artillery, but she had seen neither hide nor hair of this bad boy until it was displayed to the braying audience.

“Holy shit,” chorused Nix, Vix and Cassie as they watched the long handled flipper whap down on their chum’s bottom.

Mr Humphries was impressed with the satisfyingly rotund sound of his new toy making impact with his favorite target. He was also impressed how large an area of Jojo’s bum was covered by a single slap of the large circular head. He raised the flipper and brought it down with a resounding crack on her left cheek, then raised it in the air again and brought it down on her right cheek with the unerring accuracy of a heat-seeking missile. The sheer weight of the hard unyielding wood made Jojo feel as though she was being pressed down against the Grand Master’s legs. She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth. Even on a virgin arse it would have been considered a long hard spanking, so on a hot tender bum the effects were almost unbearable.

Jojo’s hindquarters wriggled convulsively under the assault, her bottom felt that it had burst into inextinguishable flames. Her red hair swayed, her fists pummeled the stage and her legs kicked in wild abandon but still she didn’t howl. Mr Humphries completed the dozen with two ear-splitting strikes. Jojo hung limply across the Grand Master’s knee, her hands in her face and her shoulders heaving.

Down on the floor of the Great Hall the Bounder was taking spot bets. It seemed inconceivable to most of the gals that Nixdown was going to make it through the dozen and the Bounder had a mitt full of dosh taking bets on how long she would last. The Minxster was feverishly entering the bets in the Bounder’s ledger.

Nicola Jane Nixon approached the Grand Master with a woebegone look on her face. Nix had watched her dearest chum being spanked with the flapjack flipper with an increasing sense of foreboding. She considered herself tough and during her regular trysts with Penny Ann in the stables she had experimented widely with endurance spankings. Nonetheless as she had watched Jojo’s bum enlarging by the spank she did not feel in the least bit tough and she had begun to feel increasingly weak and vulnerable.

Jojo looked at her forlorn friend.

“You don’t have to do this,” she whispered.

“I gotta try,” Nicola Jane whispered back.

Nix was certainly trying. Despite the fact that tears were falling freely down her cheeks and that her backside was fast being converted into a furnace she stayed over the Grand Master’s knee.

Jojo watched with increasing trepidation as her chum passed the halfway mark; if Nix toughed it out Jojo would be left with the terrible dilemma of choosing between the spatula, the spoon or the menacing flipper.

The seventh, eighth and ninth spanks landed in quick succession and still Nix stayed down. The tenth looked like it had nailed her as she pushed herself upwards momentarily, but she sunk back into position. She howled as the eleventh burned down but still stayed down.

CRACK! The flipper rebounded off Nixdown’s tiny arse. With a holler and a whoop she exited Mr Humphries’s lap but somehow kept from rubbing, keeping her knotted fists pressed to the sides of her head.

The gals in the audience were in shock and there was a deathly hush in the hall. Thanks to Nix the Bounder had made a clean sweep, taking plenty of tuck money from the disbelieving punters.

Jojo’s mind was racing. Her butt burned unbelievably but she knew she could continue, but the question was with what. Should she choose the flesh sizzling spatula, the deep burn of the spoon repeatedly whapping the same spot or the booming crashes of the flipper.

Jojo looked across at Nix with genuine concern. Nicola Jane Nixon took enormous pride in her appearance. Her uniform was always pristine, her well-heeled chaps provided her with the necessary quids to purchase new clobber at the slightest signs of wear and tear. But now her blouse was hanging out of her skirt, her tie was skew-whiff and one of her socks was down around her ankle. Jojo took a deep breath. “I’ll take six with the spatula,” she said quietly.

The gals in the hall watched in suspenseful silence as Nix wrestled with the proposal. She looked totally disorientated. Mr Humphries encouraged her to take her time. She hopped from foot to foot, rubbing her eyes on the cuffs of her blouse. Six with the spatula was a dreadful proposition but she truly believed she could endure them. However, she was also pretty sure that Jojo could outlast her and she desperately wanted to spare her chum from any more suffering than necessary.

Slowly she shook her head, “I’m done,” she said tearfully.

The Grand Master called an intermission. Jojo and Nix hugged and comforted each other. Jojo’s ears were still ringing from the sharp explosive slap of the winning swipe of the spatula.

“Holy shit!” grumbled Jojo as she gratefully accepted an ice cold glass of champagne from Heidi Alexander, “that is some evil shit! Where on earth did he come up with a flapjack flipper?”

Nix shook her head incredulously. “Jojo, I have to tell you but sometimes I think that man of yours is fucking barking!”

Penelope Ann had come back stage to put cream on Nix’s arse and the Grand Master had taken Jojo into an anteroom to help her rub and kiss her bum better.

Lady Victoria and Cassie Cassy paced backstage tensely.

If you liked the extract go to the Woodettes Storefront and BUY THE BOOK’s!You will not be disappointed! Lol! Bottoms Up! Thanks for stopping by … RH

Don’t Forget – Free Chapters of the Woody Back to School Unit spanking saga are available at the Woodettes Publications Page.