The Fine Art of Flagellation – Le Vice Anglais

Welcome to some new guests from France courtesy of a generous acknowledgement by Laurent over at the hugely successful ‘Le Journal de la Fessee’; commendably Laurent has made over 1,000 posts. My apologies, Laurent, that my written French is not good enough to say anything much other than Bonjour.

In France the fine art of flagellation is known as ‘Le Vice Anglais’. Whether the Brits have more of a grand goût for participating in activities involving the rope and rod than our cross-channel cousins is a matter for the sociologists to debate. However, a quick glimpse at a random sampling of my visitors over the past two days clearly indicate that the residents of the country that brought us the works of Marquis de Sade and Georges Bataille are no shrinking violets when it comes to the wonderful world of spanking. France now ranks number three behind the US and UK for visitations to the Woody Back to School Unit. So welcome mes amis.

In an earlier post ‘French Spankings and Six Du Meilleur’ I introduced you to Mdme Diderot, the less than spiritual Dame tasked with enlightening the Woody Gals in the works of Jean Jacques Rousseau and other learned punters. In this extract from the soon to be published Volume 8 – The Dawn of the Great Spank-off she is in particularly crabby form … Enjoy (or Apprécier).

Mdme Diderot had ferociously slashed the cane down three times across the hapless Minxster’s squirming bumbags when her concentration was interrupted by the sound of giggles coming from the back of the room.

She stared incredulously at Miss Ali Stone who was doubled over in apparent hysterics.

The Bounder had turned over a new leaf. Several ounces of prime cannabis leaf had come into her possession which she had generously distributed amongst a small group of discerning connoisseurs. Foolishly Ali had been impatient to sample the new stash and had been tempted to indulge in a lunch-time toke. Ali Stone was now Ali Stoned. Watching the Minxster getting her bumbags cut to tatters suddenly struck her has terribly funny and she burst into a fit off giggles.The French instructor stopped beating Lisa into next week and turned her gimlet eye on the cackling gal at the back of the room.

“It eez funny?” she barked.

It took a little time for Ali to register that the Dame was speaking to her. She tried to concentrate. “Funny Mdme? Mais non, non drôle du tout, Mdme. I was just thinking what if all the bumbags in the world all contained their own universes filled with little people,” she babbled, “and there’s you just whipping away to your hearts content, destroying whole civilizations with the swish of your cane?”

Everybody in the room stared at Ali.

Ali burst into hysterics; “Mdme Diderot, slayer of the bumbagadions and you don’t even know it!” she doubled over with laughter.

Even Lisa had pushed herself up from her prone position to stare at her chum. The French Dame seemed unable to fathom what her next move should be. Ali’s teeth were chattering like a crazed chimp, she pointed her finger at the Dame, “Mdme Conquistador,” she spluttered and rolled over in paroxysms of unfettered giggles.

Mdme Diderot strode across the room. She grabbed Ali by the scruff of her neck and pushed her flat down across the desk.

WHOP! “Ce qui a dans vous la fille? “ WHOP! “Vous avez congé pris de vos sens?” Ali screamed with laughter. “No Mdme, can’t you see it’s you who is crazy!” she hooted. “Fou? Je? Je vous montrerai fou?” WHOP! WHOP! WHOP! Steam was coming out of Mdme Diderot’s ears “Prenez cela!” WHOP! “Et cela!” WHOP! “Et cela! “ WHOP!

Suddenly the blur in Ali’s mind seemed to clear and she promptly stopped giggling.

“Merde! Ce maux!” she hollered.

The Bounder shook her head in wonder. “Whoa,” she muttered, “Must be some damn fine pot. Damn fucking fine.”

Mdme Diderot yanked Ali up from the desk and span her around. She took hold of the knot of Ali’s tie and yanked her forward until their noses were only inches apart and continued to scream at the stoned inmate.

Although the intense heat in her posterior had straightened Ali up to some extent she was having difficulty understanding the Dame’s diatribe that was being delivered in an indecipherable guttural Parisian street slang. Nonetheless she got the gist. The French instructor continued to yank on her tie causing her to choke. To add to the confusion caused by her cannabis haze Ali also had to contend with the overwhelming combination of the vapors of the Dame’s joy house perfume and the potent mixture of absinthe and Gaulloises on her breath. She tried to recoil but Mdme Diderot lassoed her back in using her despised technique known in Woody parlance as the ‘French Yank’. Ali Stone gasped for breath.

Lisa Sutton slid herself back off the desktop and gingerly lowered herself into her seat. She hoped that the distraction caused by Ali’s bizarre behavior would make Mdme forget that she was still three swipes short of a six.

The French instructor finally released her hold on Ali’s tie. Ali reached up and tried to loosen her collar which had been yanked up into her larynx. Momentarily Mdme Diderot seemed at a loss what to do next.

“Êtes-vous ivre?” she asked suspiciously.

“Ivre? Je? Aucun, Mademoiselle,” Ali spluttered quickly.

Ali licked her lips nervously. The weed that Bernadette had sold her was very strong and even though she had gargled mouthwash she wasn’t sure that she wasn’t still suffering from skank breath. Fortunately Mdme appeared to have swallowed down a few absinthe’s over lunch and wasn’t at her most observant. She glared at Ali and then instructed her to hand over her PRB for post processing. Ali Stone breathed a sigh of relief.

The French instructor meticulously entered the punishment. Ali didn’t comment when the Dame fraudulently entered the number of strokes as six. She was just relieved that she wasn’t heading for the Grand Master’s study.

The Dame handed her back her book. As Ali turned away to wriggle back to her desk the French instructor snatched up her cane. She pointed the tip at Lisa.

“Merde,” muttered the Minxster. She rather fancied her cheeks were going to be burning even hotter in the next few moments.

I hope you enjoyed the extract, if you want to learn more about the mega-minxes from the Woody Back to School Unit then cut along sharpish to the Woodettes Storefront and BUY THE BOOKS! … downloading for just $4.99 per full length book is the cheapest and most expedient way to get access to hundreds of pages of Woody fun … You won’t be disappointed … Bottoms Up! Thanks for stopping by … RH

Don’t Forget – Free Chapters of the Woody Back to School Unit spanking saga are available at the Woodettes Publications Page.