A Spanking or Your Job!

The ever affable and entertaining Dante D’Amore over at Dante’s Paradiso posted a story from USA Today regarding a Tennessee business-man who required his young female personnel to subject themselves to spankings for employment infractions as an alternative to being given the proverbial heave-ho. Now, as a by-the-by, despite the potential for sounding politically incorrect, RH regularly finds himself forced to act as Solomon in internal human resource squabbles where by law I am obliged to mediate in accordance with standards established by the deranged folk otherwise known as Human Resources. In many of these cases it is patently obvious that a damn good spanking would resolve the matter rather more expediently than the tiresome paperwork, warnings and probations that generally result from these tribunals.

As Grand Master of the Woody Back to School Unit Mr Humphries is in the enviable position of having sole responsibility and governance over disciplinary matters and has no time for such nonsense when it comes to dealing with malicious members of his staff.

In this extract, from the soon to be published Volume 17 – Woodys Under Fire, the units most disagreeable members of the Brass, Patty Hodge, Katie Beck and the Wart, find themselves subjected to some appropriate justice meted out Mr Humphries style. It’s the weekend … so pour a glass of wine, open a pallet of strawberries and kick back and enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH.

Patricia Hodge almost laughed out loud. She couldn’t believe her luck. She leaned forward across the desk. “Go and change into clobber Brooks and meet me back here in fifteen minutes,” she hissed menacingly. “I’m going to give you the thrashing of your life.”

Claire Brooks pushed back her chair and trudged despondently towards the door of the lecture room. She couldn’t believe her own stupidity. During the past few weeks Claire had resolved to control her unfortunate tendency of opening her mouth before engaging her brain. She held the lamentable record of being the first Old Gal ever to appear in the top ten of the Top of the Whops rankings, but she had figured that with her Caned Laughter revue as an outlet for her pithy wit she should be able to curb her spontaneous outbursts in the lecture rooms. However, it had only taken a momentary lapse of self-control and Claire was heading for the door.

Claire buttoned her blouse and knotted her tie. She reached into the closet and pulled out her gymslip. She pulled the garment over her head, fastened the buttons on the shoulders of the bib and then tied her sash around her waist. She stared at herself in the mirror and sighed. Claire Brooks pulled on her blazer and with a heavy tread she set off for her appointment with Ms Hodge.

Patty Hodge was rubbing her hands with glee while she waited for Claire to return to the lecture room. The bell indicating the end of the day’s formal curriculum had already rung and she had dismissed the other Old Gals.

“Katie, get your arse down to the Old Gal chamber,” she barked into her cell phone and then speed dialed the Warts number.

Claire Brooks was immediately suspicious when she returned to the lecture room and found the furniture had been rearranged. The desks and chairs had been moved to the sides of the room, leaving a large open area in the center. She was also dismayed to find herself unexpectedly confronted by the cruel triumvirate of Patty Hodge, Katie Beck and the Wart.

Claire Brooks did not generally suffer from a nervous disposition but as she had trudged through the corridors her tummy had been filled with butterflies. Claire was well aware that she was the target of one of Patty’s dangerous obsessions.

Patty had never forgiven her for the humiliating dangling she had been forced to endure from Lady Victoria Brompton after her plans to have Claire stood down from the Elite had back-fired.

Prudently Claire had done her best to keep a good distance between her bumbags and Patty’s customized wye-tipped canes. She could have kicked herself for her stupidity and she had an uneasy premonition that Patty was about to make life extremely unpleasant for her.

Patty Hodge intended to take the opportunity to subject Claire to a prolonged and intense sweating session. She smiled smugly to herself, the timing was perfect. At the end of lectures each day Ms Scott put the CCTV system into back-up mode and burned DVD’s for the archive. Although the surveillance system in the rest of the facility remained in operation Patricia Hodge was safely ensconced in a black hole.

Patty, Katie and the Wart stood in the center of the room. Ms Hodge wiggled her finger at Claire, beckoning her to approach. Unenthusiastically the Old Gal closed the door and stepped towards them. Claire Brooks was quite a tall gal but Ms Hodge towered over her. As soon as Claire was within reach Patty grabbed her by the tie, yanking her forward and up onto her tiptoes. Patty Hodge stuck her face up close and started downloading a lexicon of malice at the top of her lungs. Claire was gasping for breath but was powerless to defend herself as Katie Beck had come from the rear and pinned her arms behind her back.

Just when Claire looked like she might pass out from lack of oxygen Patty released her. Claire fell back on her heels, panting for air. Patricia Hodge jabbed her in the chest bone with her long finger.

“I hear you’ve been doing impressions of me,” screamed Ms Hodge. “You’re a real hoot I’m told.”

As she managed to breathe a little easier Claire tried to shrug herself free from Katie. Katie just chuckled and gave her a Chinese burn. Patty Hodge jabbed her in the chest several times.

“I like a laugh,” screamed Patty. “Why don’t you show us your clever little imitations so we can all have a good chuckle?”

Claire felt her face turn crimson. She had anticipated that Ms Hodge would take the opportunity to put her through the wringer but even by Patty’s standards the verbal and physical bombardment was brutal.

“Well Miss Smarty Pants? I’m waiting!” yelled Ms Hodge and proceeded to jab Claire in the chest several times.

Claire’s mind was racing. Her impressions of Patty, Katie and the Wart were far from flattering and she had no intention of incriminating herself by giving them a rendition.

“I also heard you were horsed,” said Ms Hodge spitefully. “What do you think Katie, should we horse her?”

Claire gaped. Katie chuckled and the Wart laughed out loud.

“Wouldn’t that be a sight?” cackled Katie.

The memory of the humiliation of being straddled across the back of a prefect while her bare backside was whipped with a birch came flooding back. Claire Brooks made a snap decision. She kicked her heel back hard catching Katie Beck on the shin.

“Yow!” yelped Katie and she released her hold on Claire’s arms to clasp her wound. Claire elbowed Ms Hodge under her rib cage and bolted for the door. Ms Wharton made a grab for her but Claire was too quick. She grabbed at the door handle and streaked into the corridor, stretching her long legs and racing away from her pursuers.

“Come back here!” yelled Patty Hodge but Claire continued to run.

Claire took the stairs two at a time, her heart pounding and her mind racing. There was nothing else for it, she decided, she would have to seek the ultimate sanctuary and take her chances.

“Claire?” said the Grand Master, “are you alright?”

Claire had burst panting into the Grand Master’s office without waiting for him to answer her knock on the door.

“I’m sorry to bother you, sir,” she panted, “but I have a real problem.”

“Of course I wasn’t going to horse her,” Ms Hodge assured the Grand Master.

“Then why did you invite Katie and Ms Wharton down to the lecture room?” asked Mr Humphries.

Ms Hodge shrugged. “They’re both pretty pissed at hearing about her impressions,” she told him. “I wanted for them to see them for themselves.”

“And why did you move the furniture?”

“I intended to give her a running bender,” replied Ms Hodge. “I’m sick of her stupid wise cracks and I wanted to give her a really good thrashing to teach her a lesson she wouldn’t forget.”

“But you did threaten to have her horsed?”

“Well, yes, in a manner of speaking, but I was just sweating her,” Ms Hodge said emphatically. “Brooks took it the wrong way and made a bolt for it. She kicked Katie in the shins and elbowed me in the ribs.”

Mr Humphries stared at Ms Hodge. Claire had made no bones about the fact she had kicked Katie and poked Ms Hodge.

“I just couldn’t bear the thought of being hauled over Katie’s back just so they could get their jollies,” she’d told him. “I know I’m due a thrashing but I’m begging you sir, don’t let them horse me.”

Patricia Hodge was sweating bullets. Mr Humphries had called Ms Scott on her cell phone and she was on her way to his study carrying the DVD of the day’s activity in the Old Gal lecture room.

“Let’s see what we’ve got,” said the Grand Master picking up the remote control. He began to fast forward. “What time did you stop recording?” he asked Suzy Scott.

Suzy tapped on her mobile communications center. “About four fifteen. I noticed Frankie Reese getting a late caning so I let the system run. I wasn’t actually watching the Old Gal room but the tape was still running.”

Ms Hodge’s heart was in her mouth.

The Grand Master stopped the tape at the incident when Claire was sent out of the room to change into clobber. He watched the incident several times without passing comment then let the disc run.

After Claire had left the room the lecture had proceeded as normal. When the buzzer rang to signal the end of the days curriculum Ms Hodge had dismissed Lady Vix, Rachel Cox and Mandy San Pierre and immediately got on her cell phone. Mr Humphries listened to Patty summonsing Katie and the Wart to join her.

“Help me move the furniture,” she told them when they arrived. “We’re going to deal with Brooks so that she’ll never make fun of us again.”

“What have you got in mind?” asked Katie nervously.

“We’re going to horse the little bitch,” grinned Ms Hodge.

“Are you fucking barking?” squealed Katie incredulously. “What the fuck do you think the Grand Master will do when we’re caught on candid fucking camera?”

“He’ll never know,” said Ms Hodge gleefully. “We’re in a black hole!”

Ms Hodge was looking agitated. Mr Humphries was continuing to watch the recording. Claire was entering the room and approaching the group of women. He watched as Patty reached out and grabbed Claire by the tie and yanked her forward and he listened to the vile diatribe being screamed into her face until the recording shut off.

Suzy Scott looked embarrassed. “I’m sorry Grand Master,” she apologized. “I should have checked but when Frankie was finished being post-processed I shut the system down.”

Mr Humphries shrugged. “No problem, I’ve seen quite enough.” He turned his attention to Ms Hodge. “Perhaps you would like to explain yourself,” he drawled.

“This ain’t fair,” wailed Katie. “Look at the recording; she was going to make us do it.”

“I was just an observer,” objected the Wart. “I would have stopped her if she’d tried to go through with it.”

Patty glowered at her two cohorts.

“You have your options,” said Mr Humphries firmly. “If I have not received your letters of resignation in the morning we shall proceed in the manner I have described.”

“It’s not my fault,” growled Patty Hodge. “How was I supposed to know snoopy Suzy was still running the cameras?”

Katie held her head in hands. “This is another fine mess that you’ve got me into,” she groaned. “What am I going to do?”

“I’m resigning,” growled the Wart. “This is the last straw. I’m packing my bags and calling a cab.”

“Yeah, rock on Warty,” said Patty Hodge cynically.

The three doyens of the Radical Right were weeping into their tequila in the saloon bar of the Bunch of Grapes.

The options that Mr Humphries had outlined were simply unthinkable. Nonetheless, they all knew that scribing letters of resignation was not a route that any of them were likely to choose.

“It’s not fair,” complained Katie. “You should be brought before a disciplinary tribunal,” she told Patty. “You should be made to pay for your ridiculous conduct.”

“And who’s going to chair it?” sneered Patty. “You, you little squirt?”

“Shquirt, shquirt, shlittle shquirt,” babbled the Wart.

Katie glowered at Patty.

Patricia Hodge’s face burned with indignation. She had her arms wrapped around Katie Beck’s shoulders and her legs around her waist. Katie was slowly leaning forward, setting her feet to balance the weight of her burden. Ms Wharton stepped forward and took a tight grip on Patty’s wrists, pulling her arms forward.

Patty’s chin was resting on Katie’s left shoulder; her gymslip had been folded back and tucked into her sash and her bumbags were dangling from her right ankle. Mr Humphries was tapping a senior super cane down across her naked behind.

Katie Beck was sweating profusely. Patty’s legs were wrapped around Katie’s waist and she had been kicked in the stomach several times as the cane had sliced across Patty’s backside. Katie was concerned that she might tumble over as Patty Hodge writhed on her back.

The Woody gals watched in fascination. They had figured that during their sentences they had been forced to endure every form of indignity imaginable. Until Claire Brooks had recalled being horsed while she was at boarding school nobody had even heard of the practice. Now they were witnessing a real life demonstration.

Under normal circumstances the harsh and ignominious nature of the punishment would have been viewed by the inmates with some distaste. However, witnessing Patty and her cronies suffering retribution for their foiled attempt to horse Claire filled the Woody gals with glee.

“You have to admit that this is quite bizarre,” commented Jojo.

“It was quite fashionable between the wars,” Nix told her. “I found a bunch of references on the net.”

“Well, let’s hope it doesn’t come back into fashion,” groaned Rosemary.

“I don’t know,” breathed Nixdown, “it might be quite sexy under the right circumstances.”

Nix’s chums shook their heads in disbelief.

Patty Hodge was feeling quite bilious. The humiliation of being prostrated across Katie’s stooped back, coupled with the ignominy of being thrashed on her bare bum in front of the assembled inmates was overwhelming. She let out a hiss of pain as the cane seared her bum for the sixth and final time.

Due to the technical difficulties associated with horsing Mr Humphries had decided to limit the punishments to six strokes. He figured that the physical stripes of the cane would be the least of their worries.

“You may dismount and rearrange your clobber Ms Hodge,” he said gruffly. “Ms Wharton, you’re next,” he said pointing the cane at the GeoDame.

Preparing Ms Wharton for her whopping was not proving simple. She was not an athletic person and she had difficulty mounting herself up onto Patty Hodge’s back. After several abortive attempts the Wart managed to get up, clinging desperately around Ms Hodge’s neck and waist. Patty nearly buckled under the weight but slowly she bent forward. Katie stepped up and took the Wart’s wrists and stretched out her arms.

Ms Wharton felt the cane tapping down and she seethed with indignation.

The Woody gals were enjoying the show. There wasn’t a single gal in the hall whose bumbags hadn’t been cut to tatters by the Wart’s cane at one time or another. The sight of her getting a bare bender in such an ignominious manner was truly exhilarating.

The horsing of Katie Beck was an even more inelegant and undignified affair. Ms Wharton proved incapable of supporting Katie and the unit matron was forced to dismount twice. After three strokes Mr Humphries instructed Ms Hodge to take Katie up on her back. The inmates were considerably amused by the spectacle of the three most hated members of the facilities staff undergoing a lesson in total humiliation.

By the time their ordeal was complete Patty, Katie and the Wart looked thoroughly cowed and just stared down at the floor. Although each of them had received considerably more strokes on previous occasions that they had been punished, six of the very best from the Grand Master was still very tough duty. They were stiff-legged and clearly in discomfort as they trudged off the stage.

If enjoyed the extract and you have finished reading the complimentary edition of Volume 1 – Whops and Clobber available in the side-bar and want to learn more about the mega-minxes from the Woody Back to School Unit then cut along sharpish to the Woodettes Storefront and treat yourself by BUYING THE BOOKS! … downloading for just $4.99 per full length book is the cheapest and most expedient way to get access to hundreds of pages of Woody fun … You won’t be disappointed … Bottoms Up! Thanks for stopping by … RH

Don’t Forget – Free Chapters of the Woody Back to School Unit spanking saga are available at the Woodettes Publications Page.