Woody Toon Teaser – Introducing the Wart

This is a teaser from the new two-part Woody Toon which introduces the arch-villainess Ms Robin Wharton, aka as the Wart.

The full cartoons will be available tomorrow and Friday, so set your clocks. The drafts look astounding but production has been slowed down as Our Man in Phuket, Dave Ell, claims to be suffering from a potentially incurable hangover. So in the mean-time meet Ms Robin Wharton … this is her story! Kick-back and enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

The Wart sat on her usual bar-stool in the saloon bar of the Bunch of Grapes. She was feeling lonely and miserable. Without the alluring presence of Patty and Katie the local lothario’s were ignoring her. Robin Wharton acknowledged that she had allowed herself to go to seed. Years of hard drinking, heavy smoking and a fondness for her tucker had taken their toll. She had once been a vibrant beauty with a certain charm that she had used to her advantage.

At school despite her reputation as an odious sneak and bully who would sacrifice her best friend’s bumbags to avoid getting caned herself she still managed to attract a circle of sycophants. She treated them like her personal staff and they were expected to confess to Robin’s sins whenever there were whops on the horizon. She was one of the few gals at the school who navigated the first six years without a single stroke of the cane slashing across her bumbags.

She campaigned assiduously for the role of Head Prefect. She toadied up to the Brass and made herself indispensible to the outgoing Headgal. Although by nature she was bone idle and was not in the least bit interested in performing the mundane administrative functions expected of her it was the authority to cane the other pupils that attracted her to the position. Having installed a cadre of her sycophants in key roles, to lessen her tiresome burden, she embarked on a frenzy of whops.

The system operated at the school gave her the authority to cane gals in the privacy of her study without the matter being entered into the official record. It was a system open for abuse and Robin abused it liberally. Although she was only sanctioned to deliver three strokes in an individual session many diarists recall that she would often cane them multiple times on the same day.

Despite their pain and suffering the pupils were forced to endure her tyranny without complaint. The alternative was a trip to the Headmistress’s study where the punishments were more severe and were accompanied by a letter to their parents describing their errant behavior.

For the majority of the time she operated with impunity and was only ever exposed once, when she forced a gal to cross the quadrangle in her pajamas during a snow-storm. The unfortunate gal who was sporting three sets of stripes on her poor beleaguered bum ended up in the infirmary with a severe chill. Robin was caned in front of the whole school and by all accounts she made a total muff of herself. Inexplicably she managed to retain power and by the time the year was over her whop rate was over five times that of any of her predecessors.

Having developed a taste for whops and tequila she enrolled in Teachers Training College where she read geography which took little effort and allowed her plenty of time for engaging in liaisons with wealthy and generally married lovers.

Once she had graduated she sought employment at private schools with reputations for harsh discipline. For almost two decades she appeared amongst the highest echelons of the Ministry of Educations list of top disciplinarians. When Ms Lawton was scouting for Brass for the newly opened Woody Back to School unit Robin Wharton was a shoo-in.

When she joined the Brass her looks were already fading and her taste for gluttonous dining had added significant inches to her girth. However, she immediately palled up with the beautiful Patty and scored numerous hot dates just by association.

At that time Katie Beck was still an inmate but she had attracted the attention of Patty. Patty assigned the Wart the task of covertly training Katie for taking on the powerful role of Red-shirt and to act as commandant of the SS. In the background Patty smoothed the way for Katie’s eventual promotion.

The Wart was impressed by Katie who needed little in the way of training as she was a cruel and devious bitch by nature. The two women became tight and Katie would go on to become the most tyrannical Red-shirt in the unit’s history.

The Wart had been over-joyed when Katie had returned as the unit’s matron. Not only did she strengthen the ranks of the Radical Right but in the subordinate position of only being considered semi-Brass she replaced Robin as Patty’s personal lackey.

The Wart slammed down several hits of tequila. The glory days of the Radical Right were long over and now with Patty and Katie at each other’s throats Robin Wharton felt miserable and insecure. Her attempts to parlay a peace deal between the warring factions appeared to have failed. She watched with increasing alarm as public opinion appeared to be shifting in favor of the Back to School units being closed down. She wondered what would become of her.

If you are enjoying the Toon Collection and the book-extracts and you have finished reading the complimentary Volume 1 – Whops and Clobber and still want to know more about the antics of the World’s greatest mega-mixes then cut along sharpish to the Woodettes Publication Page which gives direct access to the five volumes from the Woody Back to School Unit saga that are available for download for the very reasonable sum of $4.99 each. I have included a brief synopsis of the content of each book and of course I have kept the Free Preview Chapters available for your enjoyment.