Woodys Invites Y’all to ‘Have a Good Rummage Day’

This weekend, thanks to the highly esteemed Mr Chross who generously featured the ‘Jojo and the French Dame’ post in his Spankings of the Week round-up, we have welcomed many new guests to the unit. Of course, many visitors just stopped by and looked at the featured post before returning to Chross’s page to continue clicking on the other wonderful sites on his list. Nonetheless over the past 48-hours (according to Statcounter) over ten per-cent of our visitors have stayed and spent over an hour at the Woody Back to School Unit.

It has always been my intention to make the page somewhere for people who share my eclectic taste in spanking writing and humor can feel comfortable to kick-back and just have a good rummage about … we now have six full installments from the Woody Back to School Unit saga available for download absolutely FREE to our guests and over forty completely original cartoons that have been created in collaboration with the world-renowned and very accomplished illustrator, Our Man in Phuket, Dave Ell … so for all our new visitors … it’s Sunday so please just take a load-off … pour a mimosa or a Bloody Mary … rummage about and enjoy … Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! … Bottoms Up! … RH

 

A Brand New Woody Toon – An Expensive Snogfest

Today’s spanking new toon features Miss Melanie White, aka ‘Melons’ to the Woody Wags, paying the painful price of returning late to the Unit after indulging in what we Brits used to refer to as ‘an extended Snogfest’ with a local hunk.

The verb ‘snog’ is a quintessentially English expression that depending on the dictionary that you choose can be defined as ‘the passionate interface with another being, creating a field of physical obsession and focused on arousal centered on the lips, mouth and tongue’; or alternatively simply as, ‘the fine art of playing tonsil hockey’.

In several previous toons, ‘Six on the Silks’ and ‘A Bedtime Beating’, we have seen Melons in action performing her role as the Dorm Raider, the member of the Woody Elite charged with ensuring that there is no goofing, gabbing, larking or pranking going on after the lockdown bell has rung.

Today’s toon takes place during Melanie’s probation year. Having graduated from her seven year social rehabilitation program she is required to spend a year on probation under the surveillance of the Dark Agents of the System to ensure that she does not succumb to the temptation of reverting to a lifestyle of Extreme Ladetting.

Melanie choose’s to serve out her probation period in the Woody Old Gal program, studying for her medical degree on-line. At the legendary ‘Old Gal Whops and Clobber Summit’ Cat Cassidy and the Grand Master thrashed out the details of the program. The Old Gals would be given many concessions from the rules, regulations and protocols that dictated the daily lives of the other inmates. Mr Humphries agrees to renovate a tithe barn located in a discrete area of the vast compound to provide them with privacy and security. They will be allowed to wear civilian clothing and have the freedom to come and go from the campus as they please. The single restriction imposed upon the Old Gals is that in the event that they are planning on remaining in town after the 2.00am curfew they will be required to call-in and notify the Duty Dame of their whereabouts.

When Melanie gets distracted swapping tongue at a local nightclub and fails to make the required call she knows that she’s due for some mandatory whops. In accordance with the Old Gal Disciplinary Charter she will be required to return to wearing full clobber for seven days.

Just a historical note, the character of Melanie White, from the Woody Back to School Unit saga, is loosely based upon a young lady of my acquaintance from back in the nineteen-seventies and early eighties. During her early teenage years she acquired the rather obvious nickname of ‘Melons’ due to her premature physical development. Her gargantuan gazonkas were a popular attraction amongst the local lothario’s.

Melons had a reputation as a party-gal and all-round wild child. According to insider information, unwittingly leaked to me by my cousin in a vanilla conversation, Melanie was caned at least twice (my cousin was also on the receiving end on both occasions) as a result of a bout of truancy. Bearing in mind that these incidents occurred back in the early nineteen-seventies this was not a particularly exceptional or noteworthy record as the cane was still in frequent use, especially at the kind of fee-paying school that she attended. However this vanilla nugget, coupled with Melanie’s natural physical attributes, was more than enough to allow my imagination to evolve her into a fictional character. 

Once again my thanks to Dave Ell for another outstanding interpretation … enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

 

 

Just the usual polite reminder that Woodettes Publications purchased these illustrations along with the copyright. I have no objection to other sites using them as long as they are accompanied by appropriate acknowledgment to the source.

A Woody Toon Teaser … What’s Going on Here?

Due to a work crisis we are unable to post our brand new toon until tomorrow but in the meantime  here’s a thought provoking teaser to some upcoming spanking humor and fun … normal service will be shortly resumed … until then, please enjoy and have a good old rummage around the site … Bottoms Up! … RH

 

Ooh La La!!! Jojo and the French Dame

Hat’s off to Dave Ell for his outstanding artwork in this brand new Woody Toon. Dave managed to capture my vision of Madame Diderot, the absinthe swilling, Gauloises smoking, Dame in charge of French at the Woody Back to School Unit perfectly.

Being yanked out their seats for a face to face confrontation with the Dame is a most disagreeable experience for the inmates. Not only do they have to contend with her alcohol and nicotine tainted breath but Madame also douses herself in the brands of cheap bordello perfume more usually favored by the working girls on the la Rue Saint-Denis. It is difficult for the luckless inmates to recoil when they are being choked by being yanked across the desk by their neckties. Although Madame is a linguist of the highest order, when she becomes vexed she reverts to the use of a guttural Parisian slang which even the finest French scholars at the unit have difficulty following; although they have grown familiar with the meaning of ‘six du meilleur’.

Madame Diderot shares none of the enlightened philosophical traits of her namesake. She is notoriously crabby and lacking in any sense of humor, possibly due to her semi-permanent absinthe induced hangovers.

In her youth Madame Diderot had been considered something of a beauty. She had danced barefoot in nightclubs around the Algerian Quarter where she developed her taste for Gauloises and absinthe. She was married briefly to a refined nobleman but divorced him when he declined her invitations to handcuff him to their bed and so that she could beat him with her favorite six tailed flogger. She returned to the Algerian Quarter where she found the North Africans far more amenable to her desires to mete out punition corporelle.

Corporal punishment had been officially abolished within the French school system in 1881 but many of the finer institutes circumnavigated the abolition by employing independent martinets to discipline delinquent pupils in private salons.

Madame Diderot supplemented her generous alimony payments by establishing an agency of disciplinarians who were commissioned to fouetté over a thousand miscreants a year. It was lucrative work until one of her employees became over-zealous and Madame was forced to close the agency down and have it on her toes with some expediency to avoid a potential spell in chokey.

Taking advantage of her degree in French Literature she crossed the channel and secured a position at an exclusive boarding school where she was delighted to find corporal punishment was still strongly encouraged. Unfortunately her liking for absinthe caused friction with the governors and she was obliged to tender her resignation. For several years she used bogus credentials to secure new positions at prestigious boarding schools. A reference from a dead French President praising her tutorial work with a fictitious daughter was particularly impressive. Nonetheless her drunken antics generally caused her to have to slink away at the dead of night to avoid being sacked.

She ended up at Dartington Manor where she was befriended by Patty Hodge who had installed herself as the Mistress of Discipline. Patty took a shine to the Parisian and would occasionally allow her to participate in her thrashing duties. Madame Diderot had caned the backsides of both Cathryn and Cassandra Cassidy long before they were sentenced to Woodys.

When Patty was appointed Deputy Grand Dame at the Back to School unit she immediately handed Ms Lawton a copy of Madame Diderot’s resume, supported by the usual stack of bogus credentials. Madame was amongst the first recruits to the new Brass.

Sensibly Patty prevailed on her chum to cut back on the absinthe, particularly during the working day. It transpired that she was a natural and gifted educator. She was genuinely passionate about both the French language and her knowledge of French literature was staggering. Many of the inmates who had spoken passable French when they had started their sentences now spoke and wrote fluently. Her lectures and tutorials were generally quite popular.

In stark contrast her disciplinary techniques were not quite so popular. Besides being hauled out of their seats by what was known amongst the Woody Wags as the ‘French Yank’ the inmates were not best pleased that as soon as they were released from the pungent wafts of wretch-inducing pongs Madame slammed them chest-down across the desk top and pinned them down in a most undignified manner. Unlike the majority of the Woody Brass Madame Diderot had no time for meticulously staged set-ups, she just flipped up the miscreants skirt and went straight to work. It is rumored that Madame attended the Speedy Gonzalez School of Caning as whop after whop always lands across the defenceless tautened bumbags in a breath-taking, nerve-jangling, teeth-chattering flurry.

Personally I think Dave Ell has captured this magnificently … see what you think … Bottoms Up! … RH

 

 

Just the usual polite reminder that Woodettes Publications purchased these illustrations along with the copyright. I have no objection to other sites using them as long as they are accompanied by appropriate acknowledgment to the source.

Woodys reaches a Quarter of a Million Guests and launches a brand new FREE book

We are proud to announce that yesterday we welcomed the 250,000th guest to the Woody Back to School Unit since we opened our doors to the public just ten months ago. I would like to take this opportunity to thank our readership and I sincerely hope that you will keep returning.

We are also pleased to announce the launch of the sixth full-length installment of the Woody Back to School Unit saga, ‘Volume 6 – Sacrificial Bumbags’ which is absolutely FREE for download in pdf format. The full length volumes are proving an enormous success both here and over at the Kilahara Library of Spanking Fiction. Since we started to publish at Kilahara, barely a month ago, nearly 5,000 readers have accessed the Woody books and stories available in the library.

The Woody Toon Collection is proving to be equally popular and has attracted a huge following over at the Spanking Art Wiki and at Art-astic.

I know that these stats are very minor league when compared to the performance of the larger picture-based or commercial video sites but I can’t help feeling more than a little sense of pride at having attracted such a loyal readership. When I embarked upon this project my intention was to create a fictional environment where the readers would become comfortable in the surroundings and become familiar with the cast of characters. I’d like to think that I have gone some way to achieving that goal.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the many bloggers that have been generous enough to add links to the Woody Back to School Unit and to salute their hard work and endless inventiveness in providing the spanking community with such a wide and varied network of sites to choose from.  

• The Delightful and Very Generous Bonny over at My Bottom Smarts

• The Original Spankologist Chross at Spanking Resources

• Richard Windsor for hosting the invaluable Spanking Universe and all his other web-sites

• Everybody at the Spanking Bloggers Network

• Februs, Flopsybunny, Linda and PinkAngel at the fabulous Kilahara Library of Spanking Fiction

• The ever industrious Spank Art and the Spanking Art Wiki

• The ever observant Brushstrokes at the Spanking Spot

• Monsieur Laurent at Le journal de la fessée, who occasionally corrects my French

• London Lad Garth from Behind the Barred Window

• The Infamous Chief at his well-visited Spanking Blog

• Sam Johnson at SpankOz … I hope the new austere Aussie laws don’t close you down

• Cutiepie and her Sexy Spankings; same goes for you CP, good luck regarding the Oz law

• The Inimitable Rascal Paolo in Dublin

• The Charming and Entertaining Lady Karen

• The Wonderful Todd and Suzy at About Spanking

• The One and Only MarQe in his Study

• Ian at the ambitious and entertaining YEOWCH! page

• The hard-working Mitch over at All Things Spanking

• The Gentlemanly James Stephenson

• Good Old Uncle Peter and his Spanking Stories

• The highly amusing and off-the-wall Dante in his Paridiso

• Tiggr at A Spanking Good Time

• Thomas for sharing his Spanking Exploits

• Paul at the long running Spanking Facts and Research

• La fessée conjugale, another great site from France celebrating the Le Vice Anglaise

• Freddie at Simply Slippering who was kind enough to call the Woody Back to School Unit blog Highly Recommended

• John at the highly respected Spanking Review for featuring the Woody Toons in his weekly industry news round-ups

• Our man in Flanders, Prefectdt at Spanked Hortic

• LS at Lurvs Spanking for his astute criticisms and commentary

• The Delightful Jay Walker for her always encouraging comments

• The Gracious and Highly Articulate Indy

 And of course no appreciation list would be complete without a HUGE SHOUT-OUT to my collaborator on the Woody Toons, Our Man in Phuket, the inimitable Scouser Dave Ell, who interprets my briefs so brilliantly and breathes life into the characters. Dave is a British artist, currently resident in Thailand, and he is available for commissions at lodgy53@yahoo.co.uk. His prices are very reasonable and he is a great guy to work with. His work is all over the net and can be found on many of the quality art sites.

 My thanks to all of you and my sincere apologies for those that I might have missed … Bottoms Up! … RH

Sacrificial Bumbags

We are pleased to announce that on Wednesday 24th February we will launch the sixth installment of the Woody Back to School Unit saga – ‘Sacrificial Bumbags’, absolutely FREE for download to guests of the unit.

In Volume 6, the inmates of the Woody Back to School Unit are beginning to become acclimatized to the new regime under Mr Humphries … Debs Morton and Lisa Sutton have reason to be grateful to the new Grand Master when he rescinds their Public Enemy rankings … and the Bounder rubs her bumbags with glee when he agrees to legitimize Bernadette Summers Enterprises as a limited profit organization … Nonetheless canes continue to thwack and crops continue to crack as competition on the Bottoms Up Table of Troublemakers heats up.

The new Red-shirt, Lady Victoria Brompton is determined to stamp out any last vestiges of the Secret Sorority of Serial Spankers. The two Sally’s begin to rue the squiffy evening when they allowed Patty Hodge and Katie to enroll them as Commandant and Gruppenführer of the SS … Debs continues her unfortunate record for high-profile punishments when she is hauled up on stage and treated to a very public bumbag dusting after she is chucked out of assembly for the umpteenth time … Jojo Heyworth establishes yet another record when she receives a ceremonial public flogging for being the first inmate to score a magical One-Hundred-and-Eighty punishments …. and Patty and Katie fret over their futures after the evil Dame, Robin Wharton, is compelled to submit to a whopping to save her bumbags from being booted off the payroll.

I’ll also be commissioning two new Woody Toons for the coming weekend so keep checking back … in the meantime it’s Sunday, treat yourselves to a mimosa and Bloody Mary day … so kick-back and have a good rummage around the site … enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

Would you cane your Sister?

Today’s brand new toon poses the interesting question of what to do if you are required to cane your Sister?

Now that we have released five complete books and our readers are becoming more familiar with the wide array of characters that reside at the Woody Back to School Unit I thought it was opportune to diversify a little with this new toon. Although the Famous Four (Jojo, Debs, Nixdown and Rosemary) are the central characters throughout the saga the unit is populated by a wide and diverse range of personalities and over the coming weeks and months I shall start featuring a few of them in periodic toon’s.

The Cassidy Sisters, Cathryn and Cassandra are two of my personal favorites. The daughters of Christopher, a music mogul, and Caroline, a former super-model, they were brought up in a free-wheeling, bohemian household amongst jazz musicians, artists and writers … here are their stories … (for those of you who are only interested in the cartoon just hit ’Page Dn’ a couple of times and you’ll find it … but shame on you!).

Cat and Cassie were encouraged to be free-spirited and to experiment with the joys of life which they do with gay abandon. Caroline became skilled at calming neighbors, teachers and the occasional representative from the local constabulary when they beat a path to her front door to make complaints about the sister’s shenanigans.

Caroline enrolled her daughters at Dartington Manor, her own Alma Mater, where they would establish a unique family record. Apparently Caroline had been a bit of a gal in her own right as, according to the archives of the Ministry of Education, all three Cassidy’s rank amongst the ten most caned pupils in records dating back to the 1850’s. Cat Cassidy often affectionately describes Caroline as the ‘Original Mother of the Ladettes’.

Undoubtedly, Cat and Cassie did have something of an advantage in getting themselves whopped into the history books as during their enrollment at Dartington Manor Patricia Hodge, the future Deputy Grand Dame at the Woody facility, was employed as the Mistress of Discipline. The Cassidy sisters were her most regular visitors and she liberally worked-out her right arm and her infamous wye-tipped canes across their tautened bumbags.

To see Cat and Cassie out on the town together it would be hard to reconcile them as sisters. Cat inherited her father’s dark good looks and her chums josh her that she looks like she has been sent over from central casting for a movie that requires a gypsy dancer. In stark contrast Cassie is blessed with her mother’s large blue eyes, blonde hair and an enormous grin.

Cat is sophisticated, ultra-cool and laid-back. She was listening to Coltrane and reading Kerouac, Ginsberg and Burroughs when her classmates still had their noses stuffed into the Bunty and the tales of the Four Mary’s. Cassie is effervescent, exuberant and slightly harebrained. Even her closest chums acknowledge that she may well be certifiably barking. The only things she takes seriously are cooking and the pursuit of whops.

Cathryn Cassidy was considered the spokeswoman of the jeunesse dorée and was a prime target for the Dark Agents of the System. On her twentieth birthday she was arrested leaving a Ladette rave and was sentenced to seven years at the Big House without even being extended the courtesy of a hearing.

However, the Dark Agents had badly under-estimated Cat Cassidy’s public popularity and were greatly alarmed when the Great Unwashed began muttering anti-System sentiments around the bars and taverns of the Smoke. Cat’s wealthy and powerful chaps stoked the unrest by launching a ‘Free Cat’ Campaign.

Nonetheless, the Dark Agents had been rewarded with a substantial bounty for banging up Cat’s bumbags in chokey and were not in the business of handing out rebates. They responded to the subversive grumblings by launching the first ‘Purge of the Ladettes’, arresting several high-profile sports personalities and potential Olympians on entirely bogus charges. Corrupt government ministers gave bellicose anti-Ladette speeches in the House and the ever-fickle Great Unwashed began to change their tune.

The Dark Agents also caught a major break when the Department of Public Prosecution brokered a deal with Yvonne Godfrey, the notorious Deputy Commandant of the Confederacy of Yoofs. They dropped charges of racketeering, extortion, blackmail, and kidnapping in return for Yvonne pleading guilty to charges of Extreme Ladetting and accepting a sentence to serve seven years at the Woody Back to School Unit without the possibility of parole. She was sentenced alongside her cronies from the Confederacy; Janet ‘Mitch the Bitch’ Mitchell, Jackie ‘Ivan the Terrible’ Ivanhoe, Juliet ‘Spanker’ Spage, and Jayne ‘Undies’ Underley. These former stalwarts of the Yoof movement would later go on to form the most heinous Secret Sorority of Serial Spankers in the unit’s history.

Yvonne assumed that her reputation as the highest ranking female member of the nation’s most notorious criminal gang would garner considerable respect from the other inmates and that she would naturally assume a position of power and influence amongst the incarcerated Ladette community. She had not counted on Cathryn Cassidy.

Early in their sentences Cat demonstrated her contempt for Yvonne and her thugs. During the great purge the Dark Agents had arrested Cat’s best chum Melanie White who, over the years, had attracted considerable news space due to her gargantuan gazonkas. The rags that followed the Ladettes had dubbed her ‘Melons’. Following her arrest she was measured up for clobber and sent to join Cathryn at Woodys. One day Cat happened upon Melons surrounded by Yvonne and her cronies in the recreation area. The former Yoofs were already trying to extort the inmates into paying them protection money and Melanie’s affluent background made her a potential candidate for extortion. Despite her diminutive stature Melanie was not intimidated by the thugs but she was out-numbered and wouldn’t have had much chance if it had come down to a scrap.

The bullies were taken aback when Cat Cassidy marched into the fray, hacked Yvonne in the shins and poked her in the eye with a long fingernail. It was the first of many confrontations between Cat and Yvonne throughout the term of their seven-year sentences.

At Woodys Cat was also reacquainted with her old chum from the Ladette circuit, April Turner. April was already showing a flair for minxing and was rapidly getting herself whopped into the record books.

Far from being intimidated by her new life of whops and clobber Cat was determined to make life fun and bearable at the unit. She authored the subversive ‘Manifesto of Mega-minxdom’, and along with April and Melons formed the vanguard of the new subterranean Cult of the Mega-minxes.

Meanwhile, on the outside, her younger sister was also making headlines. Having won the prestigious ‘Young European Chef of the Year’ award she opened the celebrated restaurant ‘Cassie Cassy’s’. Despite the System’s cynical manipulation of the press and their condescending ‘Who’s Cat?’ campaign Cassie used her restaurant as a venue to host ‘Free Cat’ rallies.

In the midst of one of her star-studded gala’s a team of Dark Agent’s sneaked into the kitchens and seized Cassie and took her away in bracelets. Within hours she was being fitted for clobber and being transported to Woodys to be reunited with her sister.

In typical Cat style she ignored the Woody tradition of treating the newly imprisoned Little Brats as second class citizens that should be seen and not heard and embraced her sister. Many of Cat’s buddies had sampled Cassie’s extraordinary gastronomic fare at the annual New Years Eve balls hosted at Brompton Castle and joined Cat in their enthusiastic welcome to the new inmate.

Cassie’s arrival at Woody’s coincided with the halcyon days of the ‘Great Surge of Minxdom’. Cat, Melons and April had been joined by their old chum from the Ladette scene, Lady Victoria Brompton who had been sent to the unit after being arrested dancing naked in the fountains of Trafalgar Square on her twenty-first birthday. Claire Brooks, the last gal in history to be formally ‘Horsed and Birched’ had also enthusiastically joined them in the burgeoning cult. When Hurricane Jojo, the mercurial Debs, the promiscuous Nixdown and the enigmatic Rosemary arrive at the unit and join the Cult the level of mischief and mayhem escalated and an unprecedented state of pandemonium ensued.

Having been embraced by the cult’s elders Cassie Cassy was determined to make a name for herself. During her Brat-year she only barely failed to over-take Nixdown Nixon’s record as the ‘All-Time Most Spanked Brat’ but she did establish another record. After being inducted into the exclusive ‘Beaten Brat’ club she went on to accumulate three canings from the Grand Dame, Ms Lawton.

Cassie Cassy declared her intention of completing her sentence by stealing the legendary Jojo’s title of All-Time Big BUTT and went about the business of extreme goofing, larking and pranking with uncharacteristic seriousness.

During the final year of her sentence Cathryn is elevated to the Elite where she is charged with maintaining order at the unit when the inmates were not locked away in the lecture rooms. One day she is acting in the role of ‘Duty Monitor’ and receives word that an inmate has returned late from an excursion to town and has broken curfew. Cat is informed that the miscreant is upstairs outside the library waiting for a mandatory thrashing. She is alarmed to learn that it is her sister, Cassie Cassy, who needs to be whopped.

It was a tumultuous time in the history of the unit. Ms Lawton had responded to the minxing epidemic by launching the austere ‘Operation Scorched Arse’. Patty Hodge and Katie had deployed their puppets ‘The Secret Sorority of Serial Spankers’ to wreak carnage on the bumbags of the inmates. Cat and Melons were thorns in Patty’s side as they formed a resistance to thwart the heinous activities of the SS.

Patty constantly tried to undermine Cathryn’s popularity and influence amongst the community by constantly barraging Ms Lawton with complaints against her, making false accusations and demanding that she is stood down from the Elite.

As she approached the library Cathryn knew that if she cut her sister some slack she would be accused of dereliction of duty. Cat couldn’t give a tinker’s about being a prefect but she knew that if she was stripped of office her opportunity to protect the bumbags of the inmates will be significantly compromised.

She knew what she must do and these are the results … as usual my compliments to Our Man in Phuket, Dave Ell for the wonderfully vibrant illustration … its Saturday so pour yourself a cold glass of Boddingtons  and kick-back and enjoy … … Bottoms Up! … RH

 

 

Just the usual polite reminder that Woodettes Publications purchased these illustrations along with the copyright. I have no objection to other sites using them as long as they are accompanied by appropriate acknowledgment to the source.

A Wonderful Poetic Gift from Linda from Kilahara

Wow … Linda, from the Kilahara Library, was kind enough to offer this witty ode … please enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

 

Spanking New Toon – Ma Saves the Day

The old adage that “there’s no problem that can’t be solved by a red bottom”, proves unerringly accurate as Ma Morton is forced to step in and save the day in the concluding installment of this three-part toon.

Having been ‘Formally Flunked for Discipline’ Debs Morton is forced to face a special hearing of the covert agency known only as the System.

The System was originally established by the government to distract the Great Unwashed from its woeful record of political ineptitude and fiscal buffoonery (Okay, okay I know you’ve never heard of a government like that, but this is a work of fiction). The Dark Agents were dispatched to target successful young women who had shown a predilection for letting their hair-down and dancing on tables at the hottest night-spots around the world. Branding them as ‘Extreme Ladettes’ the Dark Agents conspire to stir the Great Unwashed into an anti-Ladette frenzy with a media campaign of scurrilous and inaccurate reporting.

In a series of high-profile arrests known as ‘the Purge of the Ladettes’ dozens of young women are brought before kangaroo courts and summarily sentenced to spend seven years in social rehabilitation programs at the newly established Back to School Units, without the possibility of parole. The various purges generally coincide with expensive government mishaps such as failed attempts to oust African despots, the misguided sponsorship of the installation of dictatorships on the unsuspecting populations of various Caribbean islands, or generally poking their noses in Balkan affairs where they had no business poking. The Great Unwashed are generally a fickle bunch and a good celebrity arrest was a great distraction from having to listen to semi-literate politicians making excuses for government chicanery. The enormous bounties paid to the Dark Agents were somehow overlooked in the reports by the government’s puppet press.

The public arrest of Debs Morton on the center court of Wimbledon and her subsequent vilification in the skank-sheets was a major coup for the System and a million squid pay-day for the Dark Agents.

While she remains incarcerated at the Woody Back to School Unit Debs is largely a forgotten figure and is forbidden from speaking to the press under the terms of her sentence. During her tennis career Deborah had a reputation as an articulate spokesperson for player’s rights and was often fined for making disparaging remarks about the governing bodies and their supercilious attitude towards the players whose grueling efforts paid their wages.

There had already been rumblings around the corridors of the headquarters of the System that once she was released and returned to the spotlight Debs Morton might take the opportunity to garner considerable public sympathy, and quite possibly even outcry, with regard to her ludicrous arrest and imprisonment.

When they learn that she has been formally flunked the Dark Agents see an opportunity to prolong her silence. Ms Lawton’s application recommends that Deborah is only required to repeat the fifth year of her sentence, but the Dark Agents have other ideas. They are about to rule that Debs must restart her sentence when Ma intervenes.

The full story surrounding this episode can be found in the FREE volumes of the Woody Back to School Unit already available for download. For the sake of good order I have posted all three toons in sequence for your enjoyment … I think you’ll agree that Dave Ell has done a fantastic job at illustrating this complex story … Bottoms Up! … RH

 

 

 

 

Just the usual polite reminder that Woodettes Publications purchased these illustrations along with the copyright. I have no objection to other sites using them as long as they are accompanied by appropriate acknowledgment to the source.

A Brand New Book, Plus a Five Red Bums Award for the Kilahara Library

We are pleased to announce the release of another brand new installment of the Woody Back to School Unit saga, ‘Volume 5 – A New Regime’. Once again this is absolutely FREE for download to the guests of this site.

We are also very pleased to extend a Five Red Bums Award to Februs, Flopsybunny , Linda and PinkAngel who maintain the awesome Kilahara Library of Spanking Fiction. This is a venue for any wannabe writers to get their spanking literature published and, of course, for fans of the spanking genre to read a huge variety of different styles of stories.

Maintaining this archive which contains almost 6,500 literary items ranging from stories and serials to poems, parodies, songs, limericks, plays, letters and articles of interest, is a herculean task … so my hearty appreciation and congratulations to the diligent, polite and very responsive team over at the library … Bottoms Up Y’all … RH

 

 

 

My Amazing Valentines Card from My Beloved Jojo

My Beloved Jojo blew me away by covertly conspiring with Dave Ell to produce this 100% original Valentines card … God bless her navy blue gossamer bumbags … Bottoms Up to Jojo and Dave! … RH

 

Coming Soon Another FREE Woody Book

It’s another busy week at the Unit. I am putting the finishing touches to ‘Volume 5 – A New Regime’, the latest installment of the Woody Back to School Unit saga.

In Volume 5, the inmates of the Woody Back to School Unit are caught off-guard at the sudden resignation of Ms Lawton and the appointment of Mr Humphries as Grand Master at the facility. There are many twists and turns as Jojo Heyworth and her chums wait with bated breath to discover the impact of the arrival of the new principal and the future of their poor beleaguered bumbags.

Amongst the many episodes included in this volume, Debs Morton faces a crisis at her hearing in front of the Dark Agents of the System, Jojo learns the meaning of a Brat Spanking, and Cat Cassidy negotiates the ‘Old Gal Whops and Clobber Protocols’. More thrills and spills as the swishes and thwacks of canes and other appropriate instruments test the resolves of the inmates of the social rehabilitation facility.

Our Man in Phuket, Dave Ell, is sweating away working on the third cartoon of our recent series that reveals the outcome of Debs Morton’s disciplinary hearing. He’s also working on another toon that will introduce the Cassidy sisters, Cat and Cassie. I’m really looking forward to seeing the final results.

I’ve rearranged the Collector’s Edition Powerpoint slideshow so it follows the chronological sequence of events as they appear in the books. Unbelievably Dave and I have now collaborated on almost forty toons and I think they make a fantastic collection. It is a little slow to download but I think it’s worth the few minutes wait.

I’ve also redesigned the Woodettes Publications Page to reflect our new policy to offer the complete works for download absolutely FREE. For collectors the paperback versions of the books will remain available for purchase.

As always … thanks for taking the time to stop by … it’s Valentine’s Day so splash out and pour yourself a glass of bubbles and have a good old rummage around the site … Bottoms Up! … RH

A Hot Homecoming – Sensational New Woody Toon

Today’s toon is loosely based upon the real-life incident that first inspired me to start writing spanking stories.

Many, many moons ago my best friend and I had decided to take a break from the rigors of conventional schooling in order to critique the guitar work of Dave Gilmore on the newly released ‘A Dark Side of the Moon’. Actually we never really needed an excuse to play hookey, truancy was something of a life-style for young RH.

However, our musical studies were somewhat rudely interrupted by a ruckus coming from the kitchen of the family house. My best friend’s mother was a generally laid-back soul so I was quite surprised at hearing her voice being raised in a state of some agitation. It transpired that the subject of her ire was my friend’s sister, Debbie. A few moments later Debbie was marched across the living room and upstairs to her bedroom. The door was slammed shut.

I have previously chronicled the ensuing events in posts such as ‘Writing My First Spanking Story’ and ‘Conversations with Debbie and the Vanilla Nuggets’, so I will try not to repeat myself (after all I naturally assume that you have all read those posts and committed them to memory) … but hearing poor Debbie get spanked was my personal defining writing moment.

I was already more than aware of my erotic attraction to corporal punishment and had always been a vociferous writer. I had witnessed the punishment of a number of girls at school but their public punishment had always been limited to a few cracks across the hand with the ruler, with only two notable and very influential exceptions … see ‘The Worlds Naughtiest Girl and the Loud One’s Don’t Hurt’, and I was already exploring the peripheries of the spanking world.

There was something about Debbie’s spanking that must have triggered the impulse. I suppose it was the mystique of the off-scene contretemps in the kitchen, the determined march across the living room, the slamming of the door, and finally the actual sound of the spanking (London houses in the 1970’s were not very large or sound-proofed). Finally I think that it was Debbie’s glowering, sullen, defiant expression when she was later forced to sit down to supper that provoked me to go home and write my first spanking story. I was fifteen at the time.

Debbie has now evolved into Debs and I have written numerous other characters since, but I will never forget that first time I tried to describe the events in my best friend’s house.

Sorry if I blathered on … here’s the toon … more great work by Our Man in Phuket, Dave Ell, keep reading the new FREE books … ‘Volume 5- The New Regime’ is scheduled for release next Wednesday and you’ll have to wait to discover Debs fate as she faces a disciplinary hearing before the Dark Agents of the System until next Friday … as always … thanks for taking the time to stop by … now kick-back and enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

 

 

Just the usual polite reminder that Woodettes Publications purchased these illustrations along with the copyright. I have no objection to other sites using them as long as they are accompanied by appropriate acknowledgment to the source.

Flunked and Flogged – A Brand New Woody Toon

Today’s toon is the first in a sequence that chronicles poor old Debs Morton’s latest run of misfortune. In the first frame we find her being maliciously publicly evicted from the facility’s chapel in front of her family and friends. This is just the first of her woes as she is subsequently informed by the Grand Dame that not only will she be publicly flogged but she is also to be ‘Formally Flunked for Discipline’.

Those of you who have been following the FREE volumes of the saga will be aware that Deborah has high hopes of returning to the professional tennis circuit when she finally finishes her seven-year program of social rehabilitation. Her formal flunking means that she will be required to appear before a special hearing board of the Dark Agents of the System where her future will be decided. Will Debs hopes be dashed? You’ll just have to wait and see as the story unfolds.

Once again my compliments to Dave Ell for his magnificent interpretation of my briefing notes … as usual we invite you to kick back and enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

 

 

Just the usual polite reminder that Woodettes Publications purchased these illustrations along with the copyright. I have no objection to other sites using them as long as they are accompanied by appropriate acknowledgment to the source.

Volume 4 of the Saga Now Available for FREE Download

As promised we are pleased to announce the launch of yet another FREE installment from the Woody Back to School Unit saga, ‘Volume 4 – The Inmates Strike Back’.

The teaser insert is a panel ripped from the brand new Woody Toon scheduled for release over the weekend. It features poor old Debs Morton suffering the ignominy of being publicly red-carded on the annual Family Visitation Day. Followers of the Woody Back to School Unit saga will have become accustomed to the mercurial Debs finding herself up to her bumbags in hot water. However as a result of this latest episode of reckless misbehavior Deborah faces her greatest challenge yet.

Deborah’s relationship with the Grand Dame, Ms Lawton, was already in a dangerous downward spiral. Earlier in the year she had been branded as the units ‘Public Enemy Number One’ and the Brass and Elite were instructed to target her bumbags with extreme prejudice. When Deborah is evicted from the chapel Ms Lawton finally reaches the end of her tether with her bête noir and invokes her ultimate sanction. She informs Deborah that she is being ‘Formally Flunked for Discipline’ and will be required to appear in front of a special hearing before the Dark Agents of the System.

Download the new volume and kick-back and discover the fate of the hapless Deborah’s bumbags … enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

The Inmates Strike Back

It is going to be a busy week at the unit. On Wednesday we are scheduled to launch yet another FREE volume from the Woody Back to School Unit saga, ‘Volume 4 – The Inmates Strike Back’.

In Volume 4 the thrills and spills at the unit continue to prevail as the anarchic inmates pursue their chosen life-style of Mega-minxdom. The sounds of canes, straps, slippers and a variety of kitchen utensils rebounding off tautened navy blue gossamer bumbags resound along the corridors of the social rehabilitation facility.

The mercurial Debs Morton continues her dizzying descent into disgrace when she is ignominiously red-carded out of the Woody chapel on Family Visitation Day. As a result she is ‘Formally Flunked for Discipline’ and sentenced to face a hearing before the Dark Agents of the System to determine her future. Will Deborah’s hopes of returning to the professional tennis circuit be scuppered due to a momentary lapse into reckless compulsive, impulsive behavior? You’ll just have to wait until Wednesday to find out.

However, not everything is doom and gloom for the whop-weary mega-minxes. In a remarkable episode Ms Lawton, the Grand Dame of the unit, offers the inmates the opportunity to play havoc with the bumbags of the infamous Secret Sorority of Serial Spankers. In an uproarious episode of vengeance the beleaguered inmates get their chance to reap their revenge on the bumbags of Yvonne ‘the Ice Maiden’ Godfrey, Janet ‘Mitch the Bitch’ Mitchell, and Jackie ‘Ivan the Terrible’ Ivanhoe, (My Beloved Jojo particularly likes this episode).

Also coming up at the unit is one of our most exciting undertakings yet. I have drafted briefings for a three-part Woody Toon featuring the trials and tribulations of poor old Debs Morton as she faces her greatest challenge to date. For those of you who have downloaded the full books I think that you will appreciate how difficult it is to take complex story-lines and convert them into coherent four panel toons. Working with Dave Ell has been a very fulfilling experience and we have now produced almost forty toons. I believe that each week they get better and better as we work together. Bearing in mind that I am in Texas and he is languishing on the beaches of Phuket, with a twelve hour time difference, the collaboration is an example of the amazing powers of today’s communications technology.

So we have plenty of work to do. In the meantime, if you haven’t already, why don’t you download the first three Free books … kick back and enjoy a mimosa or a Bloody Mary … it’s Sunday and what better way to idle it away than in the company of Jojo, Debs, Nixdown and Rosemary? … Bottoms Up! … RH

A Woody Legend – A Flogging for Spanker Spage

My Beloved Jojo likes nothing better than when my stories or the toon’s feature the bad gal’s getting their just desserts. This brand new, original toon is based on an episode from ‘Volume 3 – A Year of Sitting Painfully’, which is now available for download absolutely free to our guests.

For those of you who do not have the time to download the complete book shorter extracts featuring Spanker Spage are available by clicking on ‘A Flogging for Spanker Spage’ and the ‘Sacking of Spanker Spage.’

Juliet ‘Spanker’ Spage is definitely one of the bad gals. In the last year of her sentence at the Woody Back to School Unit she becomes a member of the Elite. She is given the task of acting as the ‘Senior Brat Draper’.

‘Little Brats’ is the colloquial name given, by the Woody Wags, to the twelve young women who have just arrived at the facility to start their seven-year programs of Social Rehabilitation. In an effort to curb the rambunctious tendencies that had attracted the attention of the Dark Agents of the System, and to teach them a lesson in humility they are assigned to act as a ‘grubby’ for a member of the Elite.

I first came across the delicious concept of ‘grubbing’ in a delightful memoir written by a quite well-known British actress. In the early chapters of her book she recalled her days at a prestigious British boarding school including a comment describing an occasion she had got into trouble … “The House Captain gave me six with the twig and then sent me out to grub around in the gardens.” She later comments that, during her first year at the school, … “we were treated as nothing better than lowly grubby’s.”

At Woodys it is the job of the Elite members to mentor their grubby’s in the many rules, regulations and protocols that dictate the daily lives of the inmates. They are given full rights to drape their personal grubbys over their knees and give their bumbags a damn good dusting if they are not shaping up. In return for these mentoring services the Little Brat’s are required to be on call twenty-four-seven to clean the Elite members studies, run errands and generally act as serfs.

The Senior Brat Draper is given additional powers and has full spanking rights over the complete Brat-colony and can drape them at any-time she feels that they are not keeping up with their mentoring programs. It is a system wide open for abuse.

Juliet Spage is an odious bully and a fully paid up member of the Secret Sorority of Serial Spankers. She is soon draping Brats at a record-breaking pace and she is generally referred to simply as ‘Spanker’.

A serial spanker of Juliet’s caliber soon becomes dissatisfied with merely dishing out hand-spankings. She confers with her evil handler from the Radical Right, Miss Katie Beck. Katie generously donates one of her infamous leather-soled slippers and encourages Juliet to go on a spanking spree. To avoid discovery of her illicit activities she often takes her prey to private areas of the vast Woody compound where she can illegally yank down their bumbags and warm their rear ends with her borrowed slippers.

In this wonderful new toon Spanker is caught red-handed and like many bullies it turns out that she is really a complete muff. I am particularly pleased with this toon as it is quite a complex story to illustrate in just four panels accompanied byvery few words, but once again, my collaborator, the brilliant artist, Dave Ell has risen to the occasion … so as usual … kick-back and enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

 

 

Just the usual polite reminder that Woodettes Publications purchased these illustrations along with the copyright. I have no objection to other sites using them as long as they are accompanied by appropriate acknowledgment to the source.

Wild New Woody Toon – A Painful Journey

This toon is ripped from yesterdays launch of the FREE third volume of the Woody Back to School Unit saga, ‘A Year of Sitting Painfully’.

For those of you that haven’t read the books here’s a little background to the toon. Debs Morton has secured a pass to play in a prestigious pro-am tennis tournament. Her coach, Jane Lummell (wearing the riding apparel) is indisposed and unable to act as her Court Appointed Guardian while she is away from the facility. Deborah’s Ma agrees to act as her escort.

Sadly, during the austere days of Operation Scorched Arse, Debs has been ranked as Public Enemy Number One and her bumbags have been targeted with extreme prejudice.

Spotting Debs preparing to leave for her tennis tournament the evil Commandant of the Secret Sorority of Serial Spankers, Yvonne Godfrey, sees a unique opportunity and shows Deborah a red card for no particular reason.

Debs is faced with a painful dilemma, although she might have legitimate reason for making an appeal the process is lengthy and her delay will doubtless excite the curiosity of Ma … I think the rest of the story speaks for itself.

Once again my admiration for Dave Ell’s interpretation of my briefing … so as usual … kick-back and enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

 

 

Just the usual polite reminder that Woodettes Publications purchased these illustrations along with the copyright. I have no objection to other sites using them as long as they are accompanied by appropriate acknowledgment to the source.

A Year of Sitting Painfully – Brand Spanking New Free Woody Book

We are pleased to announce the launch of ‘Volume 3 – A Year of Sitting Painfully’, absolutely FREE, for our guest’s entertainment. I am in the process of commissioning two new companion Woody toons from Our Man in Phuket, Dave Ell, so check back towards the end of the week for some fine spanking humor … Unfortunately business commitments are beckoning so until we meet again why don’t you kick-back and enjoy the book … Bottoms Up! … RH