Brand New Book Scheduled – The New Elite

After six years of incarceration the Famous Four finally begin the last phase of their sentences … and face a MAJOR change in their lives … inmates in the final year of their sentences are elevated to the giddy heights of the Elite … outside the lecture rooms Jojo, Debs, Nixdown and Rosemary are given responsibility for supervising the smooth-running of the community and have full thrashing rights over the other inmates … but first they must undergo a long-established and not particularly popular Woody Ritual known as being ‘Thrashed into the Elite’ … when it was first devised back in the 1850′s by the Lawrence sisters who founded the original Woody School it was more quaintly known as the ‘Final Kiss’ … in theory members of the Elite were immune from the cane other than in exceptional circumstances and this would be the last time that they would endure the kiss of rattan … actually even a most cursory study of the Woody Archives will reveal that this has proven to be far from the case … which probably does not bode well for the bumbags of the world’s four most notorious mega-minxes. 

I have posted this classic toon before, and it’s available in Gallery I, but I thought I might as well post it again and whet your appetites for the release of ‘Volume 20 – The New Elite’ from the Woody Back to School Unit which is scheduled for launch on Wednesday June the 2nd and as usual will be available absolutely FREE for download in pdf format … so set your calendars … feel welcome to stick around and have a good old rummage around the libraries and galleries and check out some old post’s … there’s plenty to read and see … Bottoms Up! … RH

 

 

 

Jojo is the Champion – The Price of Fame – A Brand New Toon

The inimitable mega-minx, Miss Jojo Heyworth, is justifiably proud of her status as the reigning All-Time Big BUTT (Bottoms Up Table of Troublemakers) at the Woody Back to School Unit. During her six years of incarceration at the austere government correctional facility she has embarked upon an unprecedented campaign of goofing, gabbing, larking and pranking and delights in her reputation for creating mischief and mayhem wherever she goes. However, as she prepares to begin the final year of her sentence during which time she will be elevated to the lofty heights of being a fully fledged member of all-powerful Elite she is determined to establish one last record on the Woody Hall of Shame. The two brand spanking new toons at the foot of this post record the climax of her pursuit of mega-minx super-stardom.

Several years earlier another renowned and highly respected mega-minx, Lisa Sutton, aka the Minxster, had the misfortune of falling foul of Ms Lawton who was the principal of the Unit at the time. In a misguided attempt to avoid being whopped for being late for back for curfew Lisa shimmied up a tree and gained access to the facility by sneaking over a wall. Unfortunately her chosen point of entry resulted in her crashing through Ms Lawton’s prized private garden, crushing many newly planted seedlings along the way. To add to Lisa’s woes the Grand Dame was seated on her balcony enjoying a quiet glass of sherry and witnessed the Minxster’s ill-fated ingress to the compound.

Ms Lawton had a reputation for her icy calm and unflappability so the inmates were astonished when she stormed into the common-room and unceremoniously thrust the Minxster head down, arse up across the arm of a chair and cut her bumbags to tatters in an epic thrashing. As a result of this unfortunate incident Lisa was declared as the Unit’s Public Enemy Number One and the Brass and Elite were instructed to treat her as a hostile target and lay siege to her bumbags with extreme prejudice.

Lisa Sutton is fond of informing anybody willing to listen that she is ‘not a bad gal, I’m just a very, very naughty gal’. Of course at Woodys being a very, very naughty gal is not healthy for a gal’s bumbags at the best of times so being targeted as a hostile made for some extremely hot and sweaty times inside poor Lisa’s navy blue gossamer undergarments. By the end of the year she had achieved the unthinkable, which was to dethrone Jojo from the position of Annual Big-BUTT and to accumulate more whops in a single year than any other inmate in the Unit’s history. 

Jojo knows that once she is ensconced in the Elite the opportunity to score whops by the shed-load will be severely restricted so her window of opportunity for regaining her record is closing fast.

Miss Heyworth is not a gal who is going to let the matter of a semi-permanently hot bottom get in the way of her lofty goals and aspirations and as the year draws to a close her persistent high-quality minxing exploits have brought her to within just two last thrashings to overtake the Minxster’s unfortunate record and regain her rightful place in history.

In yesterday’s toon, ‘Jojo Japes the Dyke’ (included below for convenience) we saw the incident that drew her equal with Lisa and today we can celebrate her return to her rightful place as the ‘Most Whopped Gal in a Single Year’.

In some strata’s of society watching one of your best chums getting bent over a vaulting horse to be whopped with a whippy thirty-six inch super-cane may not be considered to be a reason for celebration, but come on guys this is the Woody Back to School Unit and Jojo is justifiably feted as the super-star of the Whops and Clobber community 

Here are both of the brand spanking new toons illustrated by my old Scouse mucker, Dave Ell that chronicle this important event in Woody history for posterity … so pour yourself a cold one, then kick-back and enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

 

 

 

 

Jojo Japes the Dyke – Part One of a Woody Classic Spanking Toon

Readers of the Woody Back to School Unit Saga will be aware of Miss Jojo Heyworth’s intense campaign to regain her title as the Most-Whopped Gal in a Single Year. As she closes in on her target she decides that her monumental achievement should be the result of a truly fabulous jape. Despite the counseling of even her most whop-hardened and dare-devil chums she selects the notoriously strict Ms MacAllister as the target for her jolly jape … the results of this outrageous act of minxing are spectacularly captured in our latest collaboration Our Man in Phuket, Dave Ell. As usual Dave has done a great job in translating my words into pictures … if you would like to read the full story just go to Library I and click on the pdf link to ‘Volume 19 – A Tiffany Box’ … and by the way, stop by tomorrow for the sequel of this sensational new Toon … enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

 

 

New FREE book, 400,000 guests and two new Toons coming soon!

My apologies for the later than usual release of the latest FREE volume but am travelling and my schedule is somewhat out of synchronization … however, as promised, here is ‘Volume 19 – A Tiffany Box’ available absolutely FREE for download in pdf format.

Tonight, or this morning, depending where you are in the globe the Woody Back to School Unit played host to our 400,000th guest … so once again my deep appreciation for everybody who takes the time to stop by and catch up with the antics of the inimitable Woody Gals … our mission with the site, the saga and the cartoons has always been to establish a fantastical world peopled by a cast of characters that readers could love or hate, all set in consistent environment that our guests would feel comfortable … hopefully we have succeeded … we are now almost halfway through the saga and it is our intent to continue to release a new book every Wednesday and compliment the stories with the artwork of my favorite Scouse scoundrel Dave Ell … the site will always remain free and I will continue to resist the overtures of commercial advertisers … so kick back and enjoy the book and stop back soon as, this week, we have a two-part Toon planned that promises to be a whole lot of spanking good fun … enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

A Life in the Day of Jojo Heyworth … the New Installment

RH is up to his lugs in workworld but has managed to find enough breathing space to snap off this quick post updating the ongoing story of ‘A Life in the Day of Jojo Heyworth’ … I hope you enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

Chapter 35 – Strange Gal, Bernadette

Out of the corner of my eye I observe Mickey leaving the table, presumably to visit the facilities. Bernadette immediately slides out of her seat and scurries over to give us the gen that we have all been secretly waiting to hear. After all, even in our world it is not every day that it is considered necessary for some he-man to dump you over his knee and spank you in the middle of a crowded bar. However, as she explained there were mitigating circumstances to be taking into account.

Some short time ago there was something of a rift in the lute between my best chum Nixdown and one of my other best friends Debs. The root of the matter is that despite being soul-sisters they have always had a rather acrimonious relationship. Nixdown is a wonderfully cynical member of the human race and likes to goad Debs that she is given to show-boating. Debs’ of course denies this vehemently, but it has caused some degree of pouting on her part. Rosemary and I try to keep the peace but it all came to a head after Debs had been double-whopped by Ms Whitton and had gloated that she hadn’t howled. Of course Nix mocked her by saying who would ever howl after a mere twelve strokes with a puny little violin bow? The gauntlet was down.

Bernadette, entrepreneur as she is, immediately sensed a window of opportunity and suggested that we see who really wore the most whop-hardened bumbags and the next thing we knew the ‘Great Spank-off’ was born.

Sixteen of us agreed to chuck our bumbags in the ring and the rest is Woody Lore. In the process, Bernadette used her contacts with her godfather, the wonderful gangster, Stacks Monroe, to arrange for internationally acknowledged connoisseurs of such matters to jet in from around the world. For the Unit this was an exceptionally lucrative arrangement as the squids that went into the kitty went to fund upgrades to our accommodations that the stingy Dark Agents of the System had previously declined. Amongst the most enthusiastic benefactors was a well-known Hollywood stud, Charlie Keane, and it turned out that he was very keen on the Bounder.

Now in all fairness to Bernadette she was not yet hooked up with Mickey at the time and she was fairly keen on Charlie or at least his more exotic wares.

When I proposed that we stage the West Side Story extravaganza the Bounder of course proposed that the night after Family Visitation Day we should stage another gala performance to the glitterati and sent out invitations.

At some point she must have discussed this with her new amour Mickey the Purveyor and he put the kybosh on any such invitations being sent to poor old Charlie. Nonetheless, Mr Keane is tight with Spanking Nick Warren and Bottom-Up Beally and learned that there was still space on the Gulfwing that the Bounder had leased at cost plus thirty per-cent to the punters.

The top and tail of this is that Mickey got wind that Charlie had weaseled his way onto the flight manifest and confronted Bernadette over hor d’oeuvre’s. Apparently things went downhill from there.

Of course we listen sympathetically but also understand that nothing that the Bounder does is not a well-measured risk. For years she ran her underground contraband operation at the unit, supplying us with goods that were illegal under Ms Lawton’s regime. The Brass and Elite constantly hounded her but she had stash-spots all over the compound. Every now-and-again she would leave them a few cartons of very dodgy imported Croatian fags and a bottle or two of Retsina in order that they could make the occasional pinch. But she figured that sacrificing her bumbags for the occasional public flogging was a cheap price to pay for maintaining her lucrative business.

As she likes to say, “They can’t hurt me I’m the fucking Bounder.”

God bless her navy blue, gossamer bumbags.

“Is Charlie still coming?” asks Cat.

Bernadette shakes her head a little morosely. “I don’t think Mickey and Charlie would see eye-to-eye, and besides Mickey’s got hands like a roof-tiler.” She pouts momentarily, “shame though he was going to pay a fifty percent premium on his seat.”

Strange gal, Bernadette. … To Be Continued

Everybody Loves a Tiffany Box

‘Volume 19 – A Tiffany Box’ of the Woody Back to School Unit saga is scheduled for release on Wednesday May 26th and as usual will be available absolutely FREE for download in pdf format. As summer furlough approaches the Woody Gals are suffering from cabin-fever and mischief and mayhem abounds. The corridors of the facility echo with the sounds of canes, straps and slippers rebounding from tautened bumbags.

Jojo Heyworth doggedly continues in her pursuit to regain her crown as the Most-Punished Gal in a Single Year and will stop at nothing even if it means that she has to embark on the extremely dangerous mission of Japing the Dyke.

Patty Hodge, Katie Beck and the Wart continue to find their power and influence usurped as Patty insists they target poor old Debs in the ‘Get Morton’ campaign only to discover that she has powerful friends.

And what’s all this about a Tiffany Box? You’ll just have to wait until Wednesday when all will be revealed … in the meantime kick-back and have a good old rummage around the libraries and galleries … there’s plenty of good old spanking fun wherever you click at the Unit and better still it’s all FREE … enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

Miss Brooks … Beat Them Bandy!!! … Another Great Woody Toon

Call me old fashioned, but personally I have always had an erotic inclination towards the vision of tightly stretched silk pajamas across the upturned seat of the female form, especially when they are waiting to be caned … I also have a thing for stripes … that is not to suggest I have lustful fantasies about zebra’s so don’t even go there … so I regularly revisit these themes in my books and the briefings that I provide to create our collection of Toon’s.

This week’s toon is ripped from the headlines of ‘Volume 18 – Born to Cane’, of the Woody Back to School Unit saga which is available absolutely FREE for download in pdf format from Library I in the header.

The story shows Patty Hodge, the heinous Commandant of the SS hot in her pursuit of her ‘Get Morton’ campaign. Poor old Debs has an unfortunate habit of attracting dangerous enemies and they do not get much more dangerous than the infamous Thrasher Hodge. If you would like to know more I suggest you just click on the download and kick-back and enjoy.

Once again Our Man in Phuket, Dave Ell, has done a stunning job in bringing this tale to life … the toon features one of the main Woody Characters, Miss Claire Brooks … it is quite coincidental that she bears a striking resemblance to the wife of a somewhat vertically challenged president of one of the major EU countries … I wonder how that could be? …enjoy … Bottoms Up! .. RH

 

Brand Spanking New Free Woody Book

Yes folks, Wednesday has come round again and it’s time for the release of ‘Volume 18 – Born to Cane’, the latest spank-filled installment of the Woody Back to School Unit saga. As usual this full-length volume is absolutely FREE for download in .pdf format.

In Born to Cane the Woody gals are up to their usual hi-jinx and up to their bumbags in whops. However, it’s not only the gals that are feeling the bite of the cane as members of the heinous Radical Right are forced to put it up and keep it up as penance for their sins. Since I started publishing the saga I’ve received a considerable amount of correspondence from readers expressing their delight when the evil Dames and their goons from the SS find the tables turned on them so this week you’re in for few delights … don’t hesitate … download now … then kick-back and enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

Some More From Miss Jojo Heyworth

The ever intrepid RH has managed to find enough wi-fi on my travels to drop off this quick post updating the ongoing story of ‘A Life in the Day of Jojo Heyworth’ … I hope you enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH 

Chapter 34 – The Spanking Comedienne

Cassie Cassy has excelled herself with a chateaubriand served it with a sauce béarnaise, and accompanied with a medley of stir fried bok choy, red peppers and baby corn. The sommelier has selected a smashing 2008 Pepperjack Shiraz which is full-bodied enough to compliment the divinely rare tenderloin.

As usual Claire Brooks is entertaining us with new material from her comedic revue ‘Caned Laughter’. On first appearances Claire is an unlikely candidate as a comedienne and in some circles her subject matter of spending ninety minutes describing the trials and tribulations associated with residing in her bumbags might not seem too funny. However to us Woody Gals she is a hoot and considering our personal circumstances at this particular, somewhat untoward, juncture of our lives we find ourselves in, her comedic subject matter seems quite appropriate. After all, ya gotta laugh, haven’t you?

Claire hails from an illustrious heritage of public servants and politicians. Her father has recently been appointed as the new Minister of Extreme Social Rehabilitation and is demanding that the circumstances under which we were summarily dispatched to be fitted up for clobber be placed under review. He is a popular guest at the facility.

Her Ma is the world’s most famous and outspoken proponent of corporal punishment. Ma can regularly be seen on talk-shows wielding her infamous wood-backed hairbrush and preaching her mantra ‘that no problem cannot be solved by a sore bottom’. We are not quite so fond of Ma.

According to Claire, several generations ago, her great-great-great-grandmother acted as a private tutor to daughters of wealthy aristocratic families and found that the best way to curb their snooty and often errant inclinations was to dump them across her knee and spank them purple with a wood-backed hairbrush. Having observed the success of this program she saw no reason why not to follow the same practices with her own daughters. It became a family tradition and heirloom hairbrushes have been given to the daughters of the family as wedding gifts for generations.

Family tradition was to introduce the hairbrush into domestic proceedings when the daughters passed their eighth birthday and by all accounts Claire was very used to a sore bottom before she was enrolled to board at the Dayton Manor School for Young Ladies.

One of my favorite stories is her initiation into the ritual practiced at the school known as the ‘six o’clock swishings’. Apparently at the prestigious school it was customary to communicate by way of small hand-written cards that were left in a gal’s pigeon-hole. These cards might be an invitation to participate in a hockey game, a choral recital or a session of country dancing. Otherwise as Claire so amusingly recalls they might contain an invitation to participate in a six o’clock swishing.

Claire still has that particular first invitation card which invited her along to the Headgirls study and what makes it more amusing is that she was required to respond to an RSVP.

Having been brought up in a spank-free zone and attended school’s that did not practice any form of corporal punishment (not that a stellar individual such as myself would have ever been subjected to any such punishments) I find these accounts quite enthralling.

Nonetheless, I must confess that I do not find her account of her last punishment at that revered institute quite so amusing. Claire Brooks holds the unique record as being the only girl to be formally horsed and birched since the end of the Second World War. The idea of being hefted over the shoulders of some be-yotch of a prefects back with my bumbags asunder so that I can be whipped with a spray of birch twigs does not amuse me at all.

My eye can’t help wandering in the direction of Bernadette and Mickey. It has to be said that Bernadette seems to have recovered from the effects of being unceremoniously upturned over her boy-friends knee and publicly spanked with admirable rapidity and she is reaching across the table and running the tips of her fingers along the lines of his chiseled jaw-bones. I would normally have expected her to be using her fingernails but that just goes to show what a good judge of character I am.

Cassie Cassy brings out a spectacular birthday cake for Melanie and while she blows out her thirty pink candles we sing ‘Happy Birthday’ and toast her with more Dom Perignon.

Mr Humphries winks at me, which makes me smile. Directly across the table Nix and Penny Ann are canoodling. I have a feeling that the night is still young … To Be Continued

Baby, you were born to cane!!!

Baby, you were born to cane … so opines our chum Debs Morton after she is subjected to a bum blistering six of the best across the tautened seat of her striped jimjams trews. Her observation is made to Claire Brooks who Debs considers to be the hottest whopper yet to emerge from the Elite and she has plenty of experience to draw upon.

‘Volume 18 – Born to Cane’ of the Woody Back to School Unit saga is scheduled for release on Wednesday May 19th and as usual will be available absolutely FREE for download in pdf format. This new volume features a veritable abundance of spankings so don’t miss it! I am currently travelling and my internal clock is a little out of synch but I will hopefully get myself straightened out and resume normal services asap … it’s probably Saturday somewhere in the world so why don’t you kick-back, pour a nice long refreshment of choice and have a good old rummage around the site … there’s plenty to read and see … Bottoms Up! … RH

Spanking Plod – Everybody’s Fantasy

I’ve no doubt that at one time or another we have all fallen foul of the clutches of the constabulary for some minor misdemeanor, such as speeding or a parking violation. At the time it might well have occurred to you that the police-person was a little heavy-handed and you might have harbored a secret desire to even the score. Well, at Woodys, anything can happen … and often does.

Once again Our Man in Phuket, Dave Ell, has done an electrifying job in bringing this tale to life …enjoy … Bottoms Up! .. RH

 

Brand Spanking New Free Full Length Woody Book

 ‘Volume 17 – A Woody Legend’ definitely has a surfeit of spanking action as the heroines of the Back to School Unit are up to their bumbags in mischief and mayhem and going whop for whop as they chase their records. As usual it is absolutely FREE for download in pdf format.

RH is going to be on the road for a while and will be reliant upon the whims of the international technology cyber-gods for a few weeks … I will hopefully be able to continue to post new volumes every Wednesday and will still be able to communicate and collaborate with Our Man in Phuket, Dave Ell and continue to produce new and original toons to keep y’all cheered up … so keep checking back to keep up with the latest adventures of the Woody Gang … and man do they have so adventures coming up … as usual my thanks to all of y’all who take the time to stop by and for your kind and encouraging comments … Bottoms Up! .. RH

New Book Coming Soon and More from Jojo

The latest full-length book, ‘Volume 17 – A Woody Legend’, is scheduled for launch on Wednesday 12th May. As usual it will be available absolutely FREE for download in pdf format.

One of our guests reported a problem with downloading ‘Volume 16 – The People’s Choice’ from the library … I have recreated the pdf file and reloaded and cannot recreate the problem … however I am very grateful for him taking the time to point this out … please if you ever find a problem just let me know and I will do my best to fix it asap.

Yesterday I left you with a cliff-hanger with the legendary Bounder finding herself over the knees of her boyfriends lap in the middle of a crowded restaurant … here is a very quick update to that story from the ongoing ‘A Life in the Day of Jojo Heyworth’ … the story will continue to unfold later this week but right now I am up to my armpits in cooking duties and a rather pleasant bottle of Merlot … so enjoy and cya soon … Bottoms Up! … RH

Chapter 33 – Unwritten Protocols

Although the heavy velvet curtain probably acts as something of a sound barrier I suspect that the guests in the main dining room are exchanging glances at the muffled sounds emanating from the VIP area.

Mickey is warming to his work and is dusting Bernadette’s bumbags with considerable vigor. The Bounder continues to protest loudly and the wild manner in which her legs are kicking leaves me in no doubt that Mickey’s huge hands are causing her considerable gyp. Bearing in mind that it just a few hours since she was last spanked with a wood-backed hairbrush one can only imagine that things are getting more than a little hot and sweaty inside the Bounders bumbags.

Former Police Sergeant Ellen Millar is perched up on a bar-stool. She watches this little drama with a slight smile on her face. Ellen has recently moved into the compound as our resident head of security. She is a real sweetie and fits in just fine.

Ellen was a highly decorated officer, she was the youngest female to achieve the rank of Sergeant and had a glittering career ahead of her. However she somehow fell in with bad company and the wheels began to fall off the wagon.

She accumulated several disciplinary black marks on her record for drinking on duty and tardy timekeeping. She was on the brink of being demoted when her superior officer decided to seek an alternative remedy.

By coincidence members of the local Plod were scheduled to visit the compound on unrelated business. Cat had been busted for possession of a few sticks of weed and a small quantity of whizz. To avoid her having to go before a hearing of the Dark Agents of the System Mr Humphries brokered a deal whereby she would submit to a spanking from Plod.

On the night of this rather unusual affair Ellen Millar was also escorted to the compound where at the request of her superior officer she would have her bottom warmed in lieu of making an appearance before Internal Affairs.

Ellen took a trip over Lady Victoria’s knee for a twenty-four crack double dangling. It has to be said that she put it up and kept it up like a true Woody trouper and instantly won a place in our hearts.

She also won a place in the heart of Bernadette’s godfather, Stacks Monroe. This affair of the heart caused certain difficulties. Apparently the authorities are rather sniffy over members of the constabulary philandering with one of the Smoke’s most notorious gangsters. It was agreed by all involved that she would make a career change and take over at the compound.

It transpires that Ellen Millar had something of a history as a minx and had been caned several times while she was at school. However apparently she had been a popular gal and had been odds on favorite to be voted into the position of Headgirl. According to Ellen a jealous opponent had masterminded a plot and been accused of vandalism. Although she assures me that she was innocent the dodgy opponent had manufactured compelling evidence to the contrary. Not only was Ellen kicked out of the contest to become Headgirl but to her huge disappointment she was also banned from becoming a prefect.

When he heard this story the Grand Master decided that it would be appropriate to make her an honorary member of the Elite. When she is on duty at the facility she wears her Elite clobber with three sergeant’s stripes sewn onto the sleeves of her blazer, but I digress.

Mickey is done with dusting the Bounders bumbags and is smoothing down her skirt and helping her back into the vertical. Bernadette’s expression is a picture of shock and awe. She just stares at Mickey in disbelief.

Mickey in contrast looks extremely pleased with himself.

“That was not funny,” mutters Bernadette in a small voice.

Mickey just winks at her and escorts her back to the dinner table.

There are certain unwritten protocols regarding this kind of incident. We will leave it to Bernadette to reveal the details surrounding her lover deciding it appropriate to put her over his knee in the middle of a crowded restaurant in her own time.

I do my best not to do anything so crass as to gawk but I can’t help noticing that Bernadette seems to have quickly overcome her initial shock and is engaged in another animated discussion with her boy-friend. I return my attention to the conversation at my own table.

After the unexpected interruption we decide to give Melanie some presents and birthday cards while we wait for the entrée to arrive.

Although she is officially an Old Gal she chose to stay on at the compound to study for her degree and is the first inmate to celebrate her thirtieth birthday at the Unit.

Melons has always been an important ingredient of life within our community. Cat might be justly revered as the architect of the cult of the Mega-minxes but Melons was always by her side at the vanguard of the struggle against the dark forces of the Radical Right and their goons from the SS.

We toast her liberally as she smiles prettily as she reads her cards and unfastens the ribbons and bows of the wrapping around her gifts … To Be Continued

Another Jojo Update – A Great Woody Tribal Outing

I was informed by a regular guest that he was experiencing difficulties downloading ‘Volume 16 – The People’s Choice’, from the Library. I have reconstructed the file and reloaded, as far as I can tell it works but please if anybody has a problem don’t hesitate to contact me either via a comment or directly at Woodettes@gmail.com.

Today we are featuring two more Chapters from the ongoing ‘A Life in the Day of Jojo Heyworth’, this has been quite fun to write so hopefully you are following the series … when it’s finished I’ll compile it into book format and post it in Library II … meanwhile its Mothers Day so pamper the lady … and here’s a quick reminder of how not to treat your Mother on MD and the potential consequences … so pour the Mimosas and kick-back and enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

 

 

Chapter 31 – Monets

Monets is the Woody Gang restaurant of choice. The proprietor and chef is a gentleman named Oliver who just happens to be romancing our very own Miss Cassie Cassy.

The limousines pull up at a side-door that Oliver kindly gives us access too. Since the Tribunal we have been plagued with problems with the paparazzi and if they have got the sniff of a Woody Tribal Outing they will be all over the front door.

Mickey and Ellen get out of the SUV’s and check out the entrance before opening the doors to the limos and politely helping us to disembark.

The main dining room of Monets is a wonderful art nouveau affair with huge murals in the style of Aubrey Beardsley on the walls. They are knock-offs of course, but indistinguishable from the originals. For legal reasons I am not at liberty to share with you the provenance of such master (mistress)-pieces.

The room is already choc-a-bloc. Our arrival causes the usual stir. Several young bucks stand up and applaud as we make our entrance. One of them gets his face-slapped for his troubles; presumably his date thought that he was being over-zealous in his welcome.

What is quite astonishing is that amongst the female patrons at least fifty per-cent are attired in some form of Woody Clobber. The press talks about the ‘Whops and Clobber zeitgeist’, well it is alive and well in Monets tonight.

Monets is a celebrity hang-out and Oliver imposes a strict no photography policy and any requests for autographs are directed through the capable and discrete hands of Serge, the maître d’. Now Serge is about as Russian as I am but he is a former character actor and has a rather bizarre sense of humor.

If he does not like the look of someone seeking a reservation he will inform them in stilted English that the restaurant only caters for Russian-speaking patrons and curtly tells them to return when they have learned a few key phrases.

Serge escorts us through the crowded dining room to the VIP bar area. A heavy velvet drape secretes us from the main room and will allow us to celebrate Melanie’s thirtieth birthday in peace.

A table has been beautifully set for twelve with little name-tags showing the seating arrangements. Mr Humphries sits at the head of the table and the birthday gal sits at the opposite end. As usual I sit to the Grand Masters right with Nixdown opposite me.

The Butcher Twins are escorted into the VIP area and we all rush to hug them. Patsy and Lindsey are Old Gals and doing their probation year off-campus while they train as sports physiotherapists. However, they can regularly be found at the facility and are always on the guest-list for major Woody events.

Bernadette sits at a separate table with Mickey the Purveyor. She is invited to sit at the main table but prefers to canoodle with her beau. She is looking positively radiant. A little while ago I observed her at Callover with a sullen glower on her puss. This was of course the result of a recent trip she had taken over Lady Victoria’s knee so that her bare bottom could be given a thorough work-over with the back of a wooden hairbrush.

Bernadette is a stunning specimen of womanhood. She is Sri-Lankan and has thick black hair, dark eyes and exotically dusky skin. Her predilection for scowling sometimes disguises her natural beauty but when she is with Mickey her glittering smile can light up a room.

Cassie Cassy appears from the kitchen. She is dressed in an electric pink chef’s blouson, cargo pants with a Tabasco sauce motif, and her mane of blonde hair is piled up under a black beanie.

She stands behind Cat with her arms draped around her sister’s shoulder. To see Cathryn and Cassandra side by side it is hard to reconcile them as sisters until you meet their parents.

Cathryn inherited the dark good looks of her unreasonably handsome father Christopher. Cassie takes on the blonde haired, blue-eyed beauty of her mother Caroline.

Christopher and Caroline are greatly-loved by us Woody gals. They are generous patrons of the unit, making huge donations for new facilities and equipment.

I got to know Caroline during the ‘Free Cat’ campaigning days. Caroline is a celebrity in her own right, she used to be the highest paid model in the World before she retired to concentrate on bringing up her two wonderful daughters. She is very, very cool. Cathryn refers to her as the ‘Original Ladette’, and the Cassidy’s hold a unique record. All three of them, Caroline included, appear in the Ministry of Educations records of the top ten most caned pupils in history.

Caroline uses her celebrity leverage to go on television and make impassioned anti-System speeches and demanding an investigation in the legal legitimacy of the Back to School Unit’s.

As I say she is a very cool lady and my favorite story about her is that one day, while Cat was at boarding school, Caroline learned that her daughter had been thrashed by Patty Hodge on very dodgy grounds. Caroline jumped into her car and drove over to the school. She burst into a classroom where Patty was holding forth and promptly hacked the startled teacher in the shins.

When Patty tried to explain that Cat had been caned for calling her a be-yotch Caroline replied, “of course she called you a be-yotch Patty, because you are a be-yotch, always have been and always will be,” and promptly hacked Patty in the other shin before taking her leave.

I like that story.

Chapter 32 – A Spanking for the Bounder

Our waitress brings out platters piled high with Arcachon Bay oysters that Oliver has had flown in fresh from Bordeaux by private plane especially for Melanie’s birthday bash. They are served on the half-shell over ice with just lemon, Tabasco, horse-radish and ground black pepper to embellish their delightful taste.

Several bottles of 2000 Dom Perignon have been brought to the table and the crisp bubbles make the ideal accompaniment to the mouth-watering oysters.

The private bar-area is quickly filled with the sound of animated conversation and rich guffaws as we josh each other back and forth.

What a bunch we make. At the main table five of us have been caned today, and across the room Bernadette, who is looking equally animated, has been spanked with a hairbrush. Three of the guests have been involved in delivering the canings and spanking. The Grand Master caned Debs earlier this morning after she was booted out of assembly. Claire caned Nixdown and me up in the library, and of course Lady Vix was responsible for dangling the Bounder. Claire has had an interesting day, aside from caning me and Nix she also took a trip across a front-desk so that she could have her bumbags cut to tatters with one of Patty Hodge’s lethal wye-tipped canes.

Of course these whops are a major topic of conversation and we tease each other over who got whopped the hardest. Debs gloats that the award should go to her as she had been whopped twice today, following up her bare bender in the Grand Masters study with a swishing from Stephanie Powell. It’s hard to disagree with her logic but we still tease her that we were whopped harder.

Mr Humphries sit quietly, watching us with an indulgent smile on his face. He does not seem at all perturbed by being the host to a party made up of eleven twenty-something-year old women or by the boastful tales of our shenanigans. He just sips his champagne and confers with Oliver and the sommelier.

It is almost six months since we began our relationship and I still know frustratingly little about him or his past.

He appeared unannounced from nowhere when Ms Lawton unexpectedly retired. I have asked him whether he has any educational experience and he just shrugs and says that he has trained people. He appears to be very close to members of the government and seems to know Lord Brompton quite well. When I ask him about His Lordship and whether he knew Lady Vix when she was a child he just said it wasn’t that kind of a relationship and merely says that they were ‘liberals’, whatever that means. This is the man I shall marry in one year and three month’s time when I am a free woman again. I have asked him whether he will ever tell me and he just smiles that enigmatic smile and changes the subject. It is very frustrating.

Cassie Cassy is regaling us with a description of the entrée she has prepared when the jocund atmosphere at the table is suddenly disturbed by activity across the bar.

“Mickey!!! Whatyadoin’?” the Bounder is wailing, “Not here ya lunatic. Lemme go!”

Mickey the Purveyor has Bernadette securely by the wrist and is marching her purposefully across the bar area in the direction of a leather chesterfield couch.

Around the main table we exchange glances. For a Woody gal there is no mistaking Mickey’s intentions.

“Holy shit,” mutters Nixdown in my ear.

I nod sagely.

Now of course this kind of activity would not raise a single eyebrow if we were back at the unit but even by Woody standards this looks like it is going to turn into a curious affair.

Bernadette is a stout-hearted gal by any standards but she is looking slightly stunned as Mickey plonks himself down on the couch and with a firm tug on Bernadette’s wrist dumps her face down across his lap.

“Mickey!!!” she groans, “Can’t we do this later?”

The Bounder enjoys a reputation for belligerence and cynicism that makes even Nixdown seem like a liberal, however she actually sounds rather plaintive as she tries to negotiate with her lover from her upside down pose.

“Mickey, this ain’t funny,” she squeals as Mickey flips back her skirt, “Stoppit I tell you.”

“Holy shit,” she squeals again as Mickey lands one of his oversized mitts squarely on her right buttock. “That fucking hurt!”

“It was supposed to hurt,” grunts Mickey and he goes on about his business, which happens to be the business of giving Bernadette a damn good spanking.

Aside from his unexpected talents as a song and dance man Mickey earns a crust as an enforcer and in keeping with this line of work is a rather well-honed type of cove. He has enormous hands which I suspect come in handy when you are in the neck-wringing business and are also useful accouterments when it comes time to spank your girlfriend.

It had to be said that Bernadette has an admirably pert and rounded bottom. Although she is notoriously disdainful of anything as mundane as working out she is a natural sportswoman. When she can be bothered she even knocks tennis balls around with Debs and occasionally takes a game or two off her. She can run like the wind and learned to ride on the white sands of Gobi outside her father’s palatial resort home and could be a champion equestrian if she was so inclined. She is naturally muscular and sinewy, but quite small framed. I can’t help thinking that a pair of size ten mitts pounding down on her size one arse is not exactly a fair contest. Oh well! … To be Continued

Cat Meets the Rozzers – A Spanking New Woody Toon

In ‘Volume 16 – The People’s Choice’, Cathryn Cassidy is forced to submit to a spanking from a Police Officer as a result of a minor narcotics bust. Although possession of a couple of sticks of weed and a small quantity of speed is only a misdemeanor Cat is still enrolled in the Old Gal program and officially on probation. To avoid being sent before a hearing of the Dark Agents of the System Cat agrees to appear as the star spanking attraction at the ‘Annual Policeman’s Ball’. However in the aftermath of the Tribunal the Woody Gals have become national celebrities and to avoid any nosy paparazzi poking their camera’s into Woody affairs it is decided that the official punishment will take place in the safety of the compound. Of course, the creative Woody gals take the opportunity to turn this into a gala event and a spanking extravaganza Woody Style. What else would you expect from Jojo and the gang?

One of the things that I am learning about selecting episodes from the books and writing briefs for our outstanding illustrator, Dave Ell, to breathe life into them as cartoons, is that it is as difficult to decide what to leave out of a story as what to include in the briefing. This is a fairly complex episode in the book (click in the library or the link above a read the full story) so I just selected some highlights for the toon. I think it works just fine. This was also an opportunity to introduce a new character, Police Sergeant Ellen Millar. In the remaining books of the saga the Ellen character plays an increasingly crucial role in the lives of the inmates of the facility. I have always had a ‘thing’ about women in uniform so Ellen is an ideal vehicle to indulge my little fetish … it’s Saturday, so pour yourself a nice long drink, kick-back and download the book absolutely FREE and have a little smile at the toon below … Bottoms Up! … RH

 

 

 

 

 

Christy Cranfield – The Sequel, a Cracking New Woody Toon

Last week, with the release of ‘Volume 15 – The Woodettes’, I introduced you to the divinely decadent and debauched Spanky Botts and her partner-in-whops Christy Cranfield. To demonstrate her credibility as the founder of the ‘Cult of the Woodettes’ Spanky insists on being publicly caned on the stage of the Great Hall during one of the notorious Saturday Night Feasts. The feasts always feature plenty of fine wining and dining, and a surfeit of gratuitous spanking as the after dinner entertainment so Mr Humphries is happy to oblige. In the aftermath Debs Morton is astonished when her old chum Christy Cranfield makes an outrageous proposal … this was the Toon.

 

 

Now clearly this demanded a sequel and here it is!!! Once again my old Scouse mucker, Dave Ell, has excelled himself with plenty of lush color and I love the slightly bewildered look on Debs face as she suddenly finds herself embroiled in her chum’s fantasy world. As the saga proceeds you will learn the enormous impact this momentous occasion will have on Debs life … so keep popping back and reading the new books and enjoying the original toons … it’s all absolutely FREE … for now just kick-back and enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

 

Brand Spanking New Book and an Important Woody Spoiler to the UK Election Result

I did consider making a satirical observation that Lady Victoria Brompton might prove to be a better choice and, far more effective and focused candidate for taking over as leader of my original homeland than either, a glass-eyed buffoon with an economic brilliance that falls somewhere between the mental faculties of three sheep and Alan Greenspan (quite a narrow band I might add), or a bunch of snotty-nosed private schoolboys who appear to have the political eloquence and ideas of poor old Eeyore … but I thought better of it … after all this is a spanking site … so without further ado … it’s Wednesday!!! … So we are pleased to release the sixteenth installment of the Woody Back to School Unit saga, ‘Volume 16 – The People’s Choice’ … its absolutely FREE for download in pdf format to add to your collections … just kick-back, enjoy a glass of vino … and if ya feel so inclined vote for the ‘Whops and Clobber Party’ … we know best … Bottoms Up! … RH

More Adventures of Jojo Heyworth

Writing a first person narrative in the voice of someone of a different age and gender has been a challenge but I must admit that it has been more fun than I expected. I have a very simple rule about writing, if I’m not enjoying it I just stop, but as I inexorably reach towards the conclusion of ‘A Life in the Day of Jojo Heyworth’ I quite like the results and I hope you do too. Once the story is completed I shall format it into book style and put it up into the library for FREE download in pdf format … meanwhile kick-back and enjoys as the Woody gang prepare for a tribal outing … Bottoms Up! … RH

Chapter 29 – Callover

I wander about the compound aimlessly. Walking generally helps relieve the discomfort of having just received a damn good whopping. It doesn’t stop the throbbing but at least it keeps your bum muscles moving and stops the stripes from tightening up.

I stop and chat with a few chums and amble over and pay a visit to my horse Archimedes. There is a work party cleaning the stables and feeding the horses. Archimedes is happily munching down on his nose bag so I continue about my business.

I stop by the Great Hall where Julie Beckett is working on routine with the backing dancers for the forthcoming West Side story production.

Julie used to be a famous ballerina before the Dark Agents of the System got their mitts on her. She is a curious cove in some respects. According to her chums, during lectures she is quiet, serious and studious. She wears square-framed horn-rimmed glasses and always has her hair pulled back in a tight bun. She generally scores one of the top five annual grade-point averages amongst the whole unit.

However, when lectures are over she literally lets her hair down and transforms into Ginger Beckett, hellion on wheels. She floats about the campus with her luscious mane of red hair flying in her wake causing mayhem and royally rubbishing the pre’s. What is it about us red-heads? According to the stats on the GalGab web-site only me and Debs have paid more visits to the library to be beaten by irate members of the Elite.

Although, recently she has not been quite as high-profile in her mixing activities. She recognizes that she will probably not be able to rekindle her career so she has made some kind of a deal with Mr Humphries where she is allowed off campus most evenings where she is training to become a ballet teacher and works with under-privileged kids from the local town. She’s probably not getting caned so often more by virtue of the fact she isn’t around as much than any concerted effort at reform.

As I’ve said earlier the Dark Agents have a lot to answer for with all the careers that they have ruined.

Ginger is proving to be a fabulous choreographer. Jazz and tap are not really her forte but we found her a rather unlikely assistant. Mickey the Purveyor works for Stacks Monroe as a security manager. He is also going hot and heavy with the Bounder. Apparently somewhere along the way he performed with some kind of travelling dance troupe and is extremely nifty in a pair of tap-shoes. Between them they have put together some really fantastic routines for the show.

I watch idly as the dancers work through the America number, it is amazing what a talented group we have locked away behind the huge gates of the facility.

I am surprised that neither Bernadette nor Lady Vix is on stage as they are playing Bernardo and Anita respectively. Ginger informs me that they are currently indisposed as the Bounder is upstairs waiting outside the library as she is due for a dangling from the Red-shirt for accumulating five black marks.

Such is the way of the world we live in.

I watch for a bit then amble back over to main building and go up to the Phase 6 landing. Nixdown, Debs and Rosemary are lounging about our study. Predictably they are gabbing about today’s whops.

None of them seem any the worst for wear, but of course none of us would let the minor matter of steamy bumbags from enjoying a good night out on the town.

At six-twenty the bell on the clock-tower chimes summoning us to the assembly hall for Callover. This is the last official ritual of the day before final lockdown. It is basically a roll-call to check that everybody is safely back on campus before the gates are locked.

It is a relatively informal affair and a fair amount of gabbing is allowed. There are some minor restrictions of course, prodding, poking, pinching and nudging is frowned upon, and excessive horseplay will generally get you evicted. In the six years I have been at the facility I have only ever been chucked out of Callover once.

We take our seats in the back row and await the arrival of Lady Vix, the Duty Dame and the Grand Master.

I grin to myself as I observe Ronnie and Reggie Bond enter the hall arm-in-arm. An hour ago they were at each other like wild-cats but having been upstairs for a beating they seem to have kissed and made up.

The twins are a hoot. They are famous for their spats and are always getting into scraps with each other. Back in the day they had a retro-mod band that was quite successful. Ronnie was the lead singer and used to wear tonic and mohair suits, tab collared shirts with skinny black ties, and sported an outrageous bee-hive. Reggie played bass and their on-stage fights were legendary.

They used to finish their act with a song called, ‘Tear it all apart’. It was actually a love song but their fans seemed to take it as a clarion call to wreck the joints that they played. The Dark Agents charged the twins with Extreme Ladetting and had them fitted out for clobber.

The Bounder hurries into the hall, a sullen, glower on her dusky face. The Bounder can be a surly cove at the best of times and her temper is never improved by being whapped on the bare bum with an oval-headed, wood-backed hairbrush. Not that I can blame her for that, not many of us particularly care for being whapped with an unforgiving hairbrush, especially when it is Lady Victoria who is doing the whapping. Except, of course, Nixdown who would probably enjoy it quite a lot under the right circumstances.

Chapter 30 – A Tribal Outing

The end of Friday evening Callover is a magical time for me as I am allowed to semi-officially take up residence in Mr Humphries quarters for the weekend.

I’m not quite sure what the System would have to say about this but one of the significant victories at the Snobs and Rotters tribunal was that the unit would be dispensated from being audited by nosy government officials for the next two years.

Mr Humphries lives in a rather quaint two storey cottage a short stroll from the main building. It has a large comfortable living room with a view across the Downs, a farmhouse-style kitchen, and an office area. Upstairs are two fairly large bedrooms with open fireplaces and beamed ceilings.

He indulges me and has allowed me to make some small changes to his choices in interior decoration.

He greets me with a cheerfully warm hug and a splendid smooch. I notice that there is a bottle of Moet Whitestar open in an ice-bucket. Without being asked he goes over and pours me a glass.

He chinks glasses, “Bottoms Up!” he says cheerily, “and I see that yours was recently. How was it?”

I take a sip of my drink and put it aside. I unfasten the top button of my red and black striped blazer and shrug it off.

“Well it was Claire dishing it out so it was pretty hot,” I tell him.

“Well you shouldn’t go around rubbishing the pre’s,” he laughs.

“Well actually I don’t really think there was any real rubbishing, I think Holler over-reacted,” I comment.

“Then you should have appealed,” he grinned.

I decide not to dwell on the details of Nixdown hacking Holler in the shins. “It was complicated,” is all I choose to say, “but I think Holler was just in a snit because Jane Lummell had put her over her knee.”

“Jane told me about that when she delivered her report. Apparently Miss James did not take her spanking quietly,” chuckled the Grand Master.

“You’re not kidding. I happened to be down in the stables while she was getting it, she was kicking up a helluva stink,” I respond. “I mean for gawd’s sake, she’s been at Woodys for seven years, she’s a member of the Elite, and she still howls and blubs in a way that would make any self-respecting Little Brat blush with shame.”

I take my glass of bubbles and go upstairs to the master bedroom and hang my blazer in the wardrobe. I decide that I will take a shower and change before we go for the birthday dinner.

The study that I share with Nixdown is kind of serviceable but it is really nice to take a shower in a real bathroom in a real house.

I keep some spare clobber at the cottage. Now, I don’t have trunk-loads of kit like

Nix but I do have enough to make sure that I have a freshly dry-cleaned blazer ready for when we are allowed out on a tribal outing.

I put on a robe and tie my wet hair in a turban and pad back downstairs in search of more bubbly and Mr Humphries fashion advice.

He is seated at his laptop doing Mr Humphries business, whatever that might be. I pour a glass of bubbles for myself and then go over and top him off.

“What should I wear? Clobber, full clobber, or semi-clobber?” I ask him.

“Whatever you feel comfortable in,” he says. He can be infuriating in this regard.

“Thanks for the help,” I grumble.

“You’re welcome,” he says and continues about his business.

I decide to go for the semi-clobber look of white blouse and tie, black and chalk gaucho pants, red sash and of course my Woody blazer. I shall wear a pair of black sling-backs with a slight heel.

Nixdown kind of invented this look when she was dressing up Debs for an interview with some tennis magazine.

Somehow she got photographed by a paparazzi and the next day semi-clobber was all over the fashion magazines.

It’s kind of weird that we have spent many years of our lives dressed in what is tantamount to prison uniform and now after the Snobs and Rotters tribunal we are the Queens of the fashionista. It used to be that when we went into town we were very obviously inmates of the local Government Correctional Institute. Now half the residents are strutting their stuff in full Woody clobber and we can move around largely un-noticed. Funny old world!

Mr Humphries calls upstairs and tells me that the transportation has arrived. I give my hair a last brush and clean my teeth quickly and hurry down.

In the car park the gang is congregating and two gleaming white stretch limousines are waiting. Two liveried chauffeurs are handing out trays filled with glasses of chilled bubbles and plates of canapés.

Nixdown, Penny Ann, Rosemary and Debs join Mr Humphries and I in one limo. The birthday gal Melons, Vix, Cat and Claire take the other. They are scheduled to pick up the Butcher Twins from their apartment in town. Mickey the Purveyor drives a black tinted windowed SUV in front of the two limos. Former Police Sergeant Ellen Millar brings up the rear in a similar vehicle. Once we are settled in and comfortable the convoy glides slowly down the oak-lined driveway towards the huge gates of the compound. The tribal outing is underway … To Be Continued

New Book on the Way and Some More from Jojo

The new installment of the Woody Back to School Unit saga, ‘Volume 16 – The People’s Choice’, is scheduled for release on Wednesday May 5th so set your calendars. We’ve also commissioned Our Man in Phuket, Dave Ell, to draw a sequel to the incredibly popular Spanky Botts and Christy toon, so depending on his social schedule that should also be popping up over the next few days.

Meanwhile here are the latest chapters of my experimental piece ‘A Life in the Day of Jojo Heyworth’ … once again, for new readers, I am a male of a certain age and not a woman in her mid-twenties, so writing a first person narrative is quite challenging, bear with me and I hope you enjoy … the earlier chapters are available in the sidebar and all the galleries and libraries’ are up to date … enjoy the story and then kick back and have a good old rummage about the site … lots to see and read … and all absolutely FREE … can’t beat that with a stick, so to speak … Bottoms Up! … RH

Chapter 27 – The Manifesto of Mega-minxdom

Over the past six years I have become accustomed to going about my business sporting steamy bumbags. Pain management is critical when you are a Woody gal and especially when you are the reigning All-Time Big BUTT.

Rising to the giddy heights on the Bottoms Up Table of Troublemakers has been a painful business but upon reflection I believe it has been worth it. Perhaps it would have been more prudent to just succumb to the austere social rehabilitation program designed by the Dark Agents of the System, but what would have been the fun in that?

When I started my sentence the ‘grubby’s should be seen and not heard’ protocols were still strictly imposed. A more senior member of the community spotted gabbing with a Little Brat risked six hot ones across the bumbags up in the library. Even the women we had known from the Ladette party scene gave us a wide-berth.

Of course Nixdown and I knew Cat Cassidy from the many raves that she attended. She was the poster child of Extreme Ladetting and her gypsy-like features had adorned the celebrity pages of every skank-rag and gossip-mag in the world.

Crazy Cat, cool as a long drink of bottled water and the spokesperson of the jeunesse dorée. When she was arrested Nix and I attended several of the ‘Free Cat’ rallies, apparently accelerating our own arrests.

We had not been at the facility long when I was surprised to find a neatly typed and bound document secreted beneath my pillow in the dorm we slept in. The covering page merely held a title, ‘The Manifesto of Mega-Minxdom’, the name of the author was not mentioned.

I risked a damn good spanking by reading it by torch-light under the duvet that night. It was riveting reading. The following morning I shared my treasure with Nixdown, Debs and Rosemary. They were equally entranced by the subversive and anarchic treatise.

Later that day I was cutting across the quad when Cathryn Cassidy passed me by.

“Are you in?” she said out of the corner of her mouth, without breaking stride.

I nodded. “We’re in,” I muttered equally secretively. She winked and stretched her long legs as she proceeded about her business.

We had been officially recruited.

We were already being spanked pretty frequently. Nix of course had the problem of acting as Katie Beck’s grubby and was getting dusted on an almost daily basis. Debs, Rosemary and I were mostly dusted in the lecture rooms. I had been the first newbie to be spanked outside of the initiation training spankings we had received from our Personal Drapers during the first week of our sentences.

Being laid out across the Wart’s knees for twelve hearty spanks in front of eleven women I barely knew was a rather alarming experience, the school I had attended had not practiced any form of physical punishment and Chez Heyworth had been a spank free zone.

I often wonder what would have happened if it had been Debs who had received that first spanking. We were barely on nodding acquaintance at the time. Of course I knew of Debs Morton, who didn’t, sheesh I was one of the gazillions of viewers watching when she was arrested by the Dark Agents on the center court of Wimbledon. However, I knew nothing of her past experiences of corporal punishment.

She seemed a remote figure but we did feel sorry for her. The press, especially the papers and gutter channels owned and managed by Melissa Forsham-Smythe were vilifying her as a national disgrace. She rarely spoke and generally kept herself to herself looking permanently lost in private thought.

I think seeing me spanked rallied her. Knowing her as well as I know her now it was almost as if I had unwittingly honed in on her turf. Above all things Deborah is a competitor. She is actually not a very big gal and had no business returning the serves of the East European Amazons that she competed against. Go on the web and read the reviews of tennis matches where she was totally out-powered but from a position so far behind the baseline that she was almost in the crowd she relentlessly chased every ball down. According to the record books she played in and won seven out of the ten longest women’s professional tennis matches in history.

I think that she had just naturally assumed that she would take on the mantle of naughtiest gal in the unit and me getting spanked by the Wart was tantamount to stealing her thunder. She was not going to give up easily and our whop-for-whop struggle to mount the highest echelons of the Big BUTT has now gone on for over six years.

I am also competitive in my own way and once I noticed Debs obviously going out of her way to be spanked I responded in kind. Now I have to say that I have no great love of being spanked but it has just been so much fun driving poor Debs nuts by constantly staying a few whops ahead of her it has all been worth it.

Reading the manifesto of Mega-minxdom just encouraged us and we were all being spanked so frequently we acquired the nickname of the ‘Famous Four’.

Debs was absolutely gob-smacked when I finally became the first Little Brat in history to be caned. Three strokes across the bumbags, bent over the chair in Ms Lawton’s study. I remember it well, I can still recall the first stroke landing and in a moment of lucidity thinking, “Yikes, I hope there’s not much more where that came from.”

A fortnight later Debs was gloating when she was summoned up before the Beak and given a full six strokes. A week later I trumped her again when I went up for a full six-stroke bare bender. Poor Debs, always the bridesmaid and never the bride.

Chapter 28 – Enjoying the Sizzle

I have to confess that despite my talent for pain management the six strokes from Claire’s cane are giving me considerable gyp. Sensibly I do not do anything silly like sitting down and I avail of Nixdown’s services to mix me another martini.

Despite having been formally caned, which she dislikes intensely, Nicola Jane is in a cheery mood. I don’t think that being caned by a chum like Claire annoys her quite as much as being beaten by the Wart or Patty who she hates with a vengeance. If I was a betting gal I suspect that she is secretly enjoying the sizzle.

Today is our great chum, Melanie White’s, thirtieth birthday and Mr Humphries has arranged a tribal outing.

After mixing the drinks Nixdown starts laying out a selection of blouses, blazers and a variety of gymslips, skirts and pin-striped gaucho pants. Now, to the untrained eye, these garments would look identical but Nix can tell you (and she does) the exact material, tailor and seamstress involved in supplying her custom-made clobber.

I always take pride in my appearance and like to be neatly turned-out but I am not quite as obsessive as Nix. She will most likely be completely absorbed by her wardrobe selection until it is time for us to report for Callover.

I drink a little of my drink then set it aside. I don’t want to be squiffy when I go over to Mr Humphries quarters. I tell Nix that I am going for a stroll and leave her to lovingly inspect her clobber.

It is a pleasantly warm afternoon and the recreation area is crowded. There are groups of gals sitting around on the grass playing cards, chess and backgammon.

I spot Claire up on the balcony of the main building, keeping watch for any excessive horseplay. I amble up the huge white steps and join her.

“So how was it?” she asks.

“Not too bad, middling warm. You’re losing your touch,” I tease her.

She cuts me a look out of the corner of her eyes.

I giggle. “Actually it was pretty hot. Probably a nine overall for technical merit and artistic quality, and maybe a nine point five for the heat factor for the closer,” I tell her.

She looks relieved. Of course Claire is a princess of the highest order. She comes from the school of hard-whops and knows as much about such matters as anybody I’ve ever met. After all her Ma is the world’s most recognized advocate of corporal punishment and regularly appears on TV espousing her view that “there is no problem that can’t be solved with a sore bottom”. Nonetheless, Claire is a member of the Elite and takes her duties very seriously. She first came to public attention by bending Debs over the end of her bed and giving her six on the silks. Deborah who knows a thing or two about whops predicted that Claire had the potential to be an all-time great with the ashplant. Claire takes pride in her work and has lived up to Deborah’s grandiose expectations. The idea of her craftwork being down-rated like some unstable European economy would be a serious case for concern for a senior and respected member of the Elite.

We stand in silence for a few minutes, taking in the fresh air and enjoying the unseasonal sunshine.

“Oh shit,” she mutters suddenly and pulls out her whistle and blows it.

I stare down into the rec area just in time to see Reggie Bond beaning her twin sister, Ronnie, with a wooden backgammon board.

Claire sets off down the steps, two at a time and is reaching into her blazer pocket for her red card.

Several gals are doing their best to separate the squabbling sisters as they grab at each other’s hair and try to gouge each other with their fingernails.

Claire races over to the melee. “Veronica and Regina Bond, Phase 4,” she yells waving her card. “Hands on your heads.”

She pulls out her cell-phone. “Escort, I need an escort party in the recreation area and make it sharpish.”

The twins unwillingly raise their arms above their heads, but not before Reggie manages to give Ronnie a good hack in the shins.

Claire gets between them, She shows them each the red card. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to beat the pair of you,” she says somewhat wearily.

“Beat that be-yotch, she started it,” says Reggie.

Ronnie glowers at her sister and tries to make a grab for her. Claire is a slender being but she is quite strong from years of hauling bales of hay and mucking out stables. She manages to restrain Ronnie.

“Chill!” she barks quite authoritatively. “The last thing we need here is a flogging for scrapping. You’re both as bad as each other.”

“She’s a be-yotch,” mutters Reggie. “She bosses me about all the time.”

“You need bossing,” snarls Ronnie. “You can’t tie your shoelaces without my help.”

“Oh good grief,” says Claire. “Where is the escort party?” she shouts into her phone.

I watch as several prefects’ dash out from the Cloisters. I think I shall continue my stroll and see whether I can walk these stripes off … To Be Continued

The Woody Back to School Unit is 1 Year Young Today

Twelve months ago at around six o’clock in the evening I took the plunge and hit the ‘Publish’ button and posted my first blog. To be honest I really had no idea what I was doing and it was just an experiment in finding an alternate creative outlet for writing. It was strange at first and I didn’t really ‘get it’, very few readers in the first month, I wondered whether it was just the sound of one hand clapping. I persevered and slowly began to attract a few more readers. It was always fun because I genuinely like writing and as a few guests began to comment I was encouraged.

Then on 28th May, 2009 a remarkable thing happened … the wonderful and generous Bonnie of ‘My Bottom Smarts’ fame added me to one of her ‘In with the New’ round-ups and suddenly readership began to expand; so my eternal thanks to the ever gracious Bonnie.

A year later we have made 278 posts, published 15 full FREE volumes of the Woody Back to School Unit saga (334,949 words), commissioned over 50 totally original and unique toons from Our Man in Phuket, the wildly brilliant and eccentric artist, illustrator and legend in his own lunch-time, Dave Ell, and have welcomed over 350,000 guests to rummage around the Woody compound.

Of course I would love to thank every single guest who has popped their head around the door and especially those who have been kind enough to leave an encouraging comment.

I’d also like to thank my fellow blogosphere adventurers who have been generous enough to include me on their blog-rolls.

First and foremost my thanks to:

• The Delightful and Very Generous Bonny over at My Bottom Smarts

And of course to the highly respected and influential:

• The Original Spankologist Chross at Spanking Resources

Mr Chross has been kind enough to feature me occasionally in his weekly ‘Spankings of the Week’ listings and I’m sure every blogger of our persuasion knows just what a powerful impact that can have on your readership.

I would also like to give a huge ‘Shout-Out’ to:

• The Gracious and Highly Articulate Indy

On March 16th,2010 Indy was kind enough to write a full-length review of this site, ‘Wednesdays with the Woody Wags’ on her very beautifully written site, ‘Not So Submissive’. She recently published her first work of fiction and is very talented … take it from me … take a look.

So today we’d like to offer Ms Indy an special appreciation acknowledgement by extending her a ‘Woody Five Red Bums’ award … way to go Indy.

 

 

Also I would like to salute Februs, Flopsybunny, PinkAngel, and most especially the wonderful Linda over at:

• The Fabulous Kilahara Library of Spanking Fiction

… Cheers guys and gals!

And of course no appreciation list would be complete without a HUGE SHOUT-OUT to my collaborator on the Woody Toons, Dave Ell, who interprets my briefs so brilliantly and breathes life into the characters. Dave is a British artist (actually he’s a Scouser, which is a nationality of its own), currently resident in Thailand, and he is available for commissions at lodgy53@yahoo.co.uk. His prices are very reasonable and he is a great guy to work with. His work is all over the net and can be found on many of the quality art sites.

There are numerous other people I would like to thank today and they are all included on the ‘Blogs I Visit’ list in the side-bar, so thanks y’all … you know who you are.

But mostly I would like to thank all the guests who take the time to stop by and have a good old rummage.

It is my intention to continue to publish a new book every week until the saga is finished, so continue to set your clocks … we will also continue to commission new works from Dave Ell, and also continue to post new original works in the libraries and galleries as the time and mood takes me … then we shall just have to see what happens.

Finally my thanks, love and appreciation to my wife and muse, My Beloved Jojo, who has allowed me to indulge myself and take time out of our lives to develop and maintain this project …

 

 

 

Bottoms Up to Y’all!!!! … RH