Spanking New Book Coming Soon

The latest spank-filled installment of the Woody Back to School Unit saga, ‘Volume 34 – An Unusual Appointment’, will be launched on Wednesday September 1st so set your calendars.

Inside the covers of this new edition … Following her ‘Formal Outing’ as a Spankette Debs Morton is astonished to receive an unusual request from Ms Lawton, the former Grand Dame of the facility … Patty Hodge instructs Yvonne Godfrey to steal the bumbags of the subject of her latest Malicious Obsession … Madame Diderot demonstrates her lack of sense of humor on Claire Brooks squirming bumbags … Michelle Morgan learns what is meant by Double Trouble … Cassie Cassy continues her minxing rampage … Jojo experiences that a quality Kooboo Loontie cane always leaves its mark … Debs gets sent to stand in the corner … Lisa finally experiences the spanking that was always waiting to happen … The Wart is forced to pay the price for her drunken antics … Debs makes Elite history … Detective Inspector Kate Faulkner makes a fatal mistake and the Confederacy of Yoofs attack the unit … can the Woody Gals survive? … You’ll just have to wait and see!

Until then have a good old rummage around the site … there’s plenty to read and see in the Libraries and Galleries … it’s all Absolutely FREE and Commercial FREE … it’s Saturday kick back and have a cold beer or a glass of chilled wine … and Enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

Another Quick Visit to Planet Nixdown

Two more brand new chapters of the ongoing ‘A Life in the Day of Nixdown Nixon’ series, as usual I have added the complete Work in Progress version to Library II in pdf format for easy downloading … enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

Chapter 19 – The World’s Greatest Grubby

I go next door and go to the bathroom to fix my make-up. There is no way of persuading Lady Derby that I am perfectly capable of taking a blouse off a hanger and putting it on. She follows me into my study and I can hear her rummaging about in my closet.

Momentarily I hear Rosemary’s voice enquiring whether I am around. I touch up my mascara and go back to the living room. Rosemary is holding a fag in her right hand and a pot of mystical balm in her left.

“I’m on a short smoke break,” she says tightly.

“And you’d like me to dampen down the smoke billowing out of your baggies?” I laugh.

She thrusts the pot in my direction. “Hurry up, I don’t have long and I don’t fancy another trip across Dotty’s knee,” she says tightly.

I take the pot and go and sit down on a bean-bag. She pushes her baggies down around her knees and plonks herself face down across my lap.

I gently ease down her navy blue bumbags and dig into the pot. Over the years I have tended to Rosemary’s bum on numerous occasions but it is still always a thrill to witness the Eighth Wonder of the World up close and personal.

I did not know Rosemary before she was sent to Woodys, she was never a part of the Ladette scene but I knew of her. She was a favorite on the chat show circuit rambling on about alternative medicine and obscure cult philosophies. I doubt anybody could really understand her theories on life in general but they tuned in to cop an eyeful of her famous bum. She had a sponsorship deal with a jeans manufacturer and would bend over for the cameras and display her shapely rear end encased in distressed denim with ‘Booker’s Bum’ embroidered across the seat. She was an instant millionairess, but she fell foul of the System when she told a radio interviewer that she thought that the Anti-Ladette laws were ‘just plain daft’. The Dark Agents do not take criticism well and she was soon being kitted out for clobber. Later, she would learn that Malicious Forsham-Smythe had engineered her arrest in order to steal her company at private auction for a few pennies on the squid.

Rosemary’s bum is still throbbing; being spanked with a wooden spatula will do that for a gal. I work fast, rubbing the soothing balm into the swollen mounds.

Lady Derby peers down at the red bottom. “Wow that must have really smarted,” she gushes enthusiastically, “Way kewl.”

I suspect that Rosemary does not share this opinion and thrusts her buttocks up to encourage me to get on with the job at hand.

“Should I fix you a martini, Ma’am?” she asks Rosemary.

“I’d die for one,” grunts Rosemary, “but I’d better not. If I’m late Dotty will roast me.”

She pushed herself up from my lap and pulled up her bumbags and chef’s baggies. “Thanks Nix,” she mutters and wriggles hurriedly out of the room.

I take off my tie and unbutton my blouse. Derby automatically picks up the fresh garment and holds it out for me.

“Ms Hammell has never spanked me,” she says thoughtfully.

I chuckle. “Of course she hasn’t, you’re the best grubby in the universe and I’m sure that you’re just as diligent when you’re on kitchen duty.”

Derby scowls. “Maybe I’m too diligent for my own good,” she says darkly. “Miss Morton never dusts me. Three months I’ve been in her service and she hasn’t dusted me once since my training spankings.”

“Well that’s not completely true Derby,” I tell her. “I’m sure she’ll cane you tonight after the feast.”

“I know, that’s a lot of fun and very wonderful of course but it’s still not the same as a full-on dusting for being naughty,” she says earnestly. “Perhaps you could have a word in her and Dotty’s shell-likes.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” I promised.

Derby ceased scowling and smiled. “Would you like a fresh neck-tie Ma’am,” she asked, “and maybe you would like a martini?”

I must confess that I am generally rather partial to a Saturday lunch-time martini but I shouldn’t really when I’m on duty so I decline Derby’s kind offer. There will be plenty of time to have a few scoops later this evening at the feast in the Great Hall.

Derby busies herself knotting my tie with her nimble fingers, she really is quite astonishing and it doesn’t surprise me that Deborah never finds any reason to put her over her knee.

Of course life for the grubbies has radically changed since the dark ages when we were nothing better than unpaid serfs and sporting spanking was all the rage. Even the more liberal red-shirts turned a blind eye to grubbies taking a trip over their Draper’s knee just for shits and giggles.

Penny Ann tried to bring in some reforms but she was faced with the twin problems of Operation Scorched Arse being in full swing and having to try to control Yvonne Godfrey and her heinous Secret Sorority of Serial Spankers.

Then along came Lady Victoria, the patron saint of grubbies, who outlawed sporting spanking, collaring and sweating and was willing to enforce her will by putting wayward members of the Elite over her knee and walloping them with her trusty hairbrush. Deborah has promised that if she is officially made Red-shirt that she will continue Victoria’s legacy. All in all life for the new generation of grubbies ain’t too shabby.

Derby finishes fussing over me and starts to go back next door to monitor Yvonne and Bitchypoo’s progress. She turns at the door.

“You will remember to have a word with Miss Morton, won’t you?” she says earnestly. As I say she has a few bats loose in the belfry.

Chapter 20 – I Suppose I’m on for a Bender

The recreation area is buzzing with activity but thankfully everything seems relatively peaceful. I happen upon Melons in the cloisters. She has her hands stuffed deep into the pockets of her blazer; I ask her how the recovery is coming along.

“I’m still fucking sizzling,” she groans. “I haven’t been whopped for quite some time so I guess my bum is out of condition. Funny how that works, but I guess you wouldn’t know about that would you Miss Nixdown,” she giggles.

Me and Melons used to scene together back before I started to go steady with Pen. She doesn’t usually swing but she couldn’t resist my wily charms. We had a lot of fun. If Rosemary’s bum is the eighth wonder of the world then Melanie’s breasts are the ninth and she is considered to be a tourist attraction for the local lothario’s. She also has an extraordinary right arm and gave me some of the most exquisite canings I have ever had the pleasure of enjoying.

Melons was Cat Cassidy’s running mate back in the glory days of the Extreme Ladettes and was always in the gossip pages of the skank-rags. She is a natural born minx and helped Cat found the Cult of Mega-minxdom. I have witnessed her being publicly flogged on several occasions and she is as tough as nails, so if she is having difficulty getting over the after-effects it must have been a damn fine thrashing.

“It’s a shame that you don’t play away from home any more Nixxy or else I’d invite you up to the Punishment Room and cut your bumbags to tatters to take my mind off my own poor beleaguered bum,” she smiles.

I feel my spine tingle momentarily. The idea is absolutely delicious but I might have some difficulty explaining to Penny Ann how I had come by six hot stripes on my sitmedown so I err on the side of caution and gently choose to decline this very generous offer.

Melanie wrinkles her pretty nose. “Spoilsport,” she grins. “You used to be so much fun.” But I know she is only teasing.

Out of the corner of my eye I spot trouble brewing. Ali Stone is striding purposefully across the rec area and she is loaded for bear. She is carrying a high-powered water squirter, and we are not talking about a puny little pistol, she has a frigging cannon in her hands.

I dash out of the cloisters blowing my whistle and waving my arms. Lisa Sutton turns to see what the commotion is about and she immediately spots Ali barreling down on her. There is no time for evasive action and Ali ignores my whistling and waving. She puts a bead on Lisa and very calmly unleashes gallons of water, soaking poor Lisa from head to toe. Lisa squeals as she is doused in what I can only assume is ice-cold water.

I reach for my red card.

Ali finishes emptying her weapon and then turns and looks at me. “I suppose I’m on for a bender?” she says somewhat unnecessarily.

“Damn right you’re on for a bender,” I tell her. “Now get upstairs to the library and I’ll try and round someone up to beat you.”

She just shrugs and hands me the water cannon. There is clearly a back-story to this incident. Ali Stone is a well-known prankster but I can only assume that this seemingly unprovoked public soaking is retaliation in some ongoing battle.

Lisa looks like a drowned rat and is seething.

“Anything you’d like to share with me?” I ask her.

“I’ll kill that be-yotch,” Lisa rants, “I’ll hang her up by the elastic of her bumbags.”

“I’m afraid that will have to wait,” I tell her, “her bumbags are going to be otherwise engaged in the foreseeable future.”

Lisa scowls and hurries towards the main building to change out of her wet clobber.

I look at my watch. Victoria is still off campus at an interview with a local solicitor she is planning to intern with. Hopefully Debs has nearly finished her training session and can take care of the Ali business. I don’t like to leave gals waiting to be caned for too long, fifteen to twenty minutes is considered the ideal period for private rumination before a licking, but I fancy that Miss Stone will have to wait a little longer this afternoon before she gets to touch her toes.

I am fond of Ali, she is a fun-loving cove who once worked with a troupe of circus clowns and magicians and she knows some amazing sleight of hand tricks. However, her water attack on Lisa had made no attempt at subtlety or deception and clearly she knew that the ambush was going to result in whops. I can only assume that she feels that the small matter of a hot bottom was a price worth paying for reaping her revenge in whatever running feud she was involved in with Lisa.

When you are an inmate at Woodys it is not uncommon to have to consider such trades off’s. Ms Lawton used say that she ran a facility of no-surprises and that we should always be aware of the consequences of our actions. Considering that the only punishment used at the facility is of the corporal variety we know that when we engage in larking, goofing or pranking we run the risk of ending up bending over. Ali Stone knew the risks and knew the consequences so even though I feel like a heel for red-carding her I know that there won’t be any hard feelings.

I locate a grubby and dispatch her to the tennis courts to inform Deborah that Miss Stone is outside the library, waiting to be caned … To Be Continued

Brand New FREE Book Plus a Brand Spanking New Toon

Apologies folks for the later than advertized release of the new installment of the Woody Back to School Unit saga, ‘Volume 33 – A Formal Outing’ but vagaries of travel and business have interrupted normal service … so as a treat I’m adding a brand new spanking toon that compliments the book … am in haste to catch post so enjoy both the book and the cartoon (as usual my compliments and thanks to the artistic legend in his own lunch-time the wonderfully talented Dave Ell) … Bottoms Up! … RH

 

Brand New FREE Book Coming Soon

This week’s installment of the Woody Back to School Unit saga, ‘Volume 33 – A Formal Outing’ will be posted on Wednesday August 25th absolutely FREE for download in pdf format.

This installment is packed with good old fashioned spanking fun and continues to follow the lives of the inmates at the social rehabilitation facility.

Jojo pays a visit to Café Woodys and is availed upon to put up her bumbags for a public thrashing all in the name of charity … Cat Cassidy is disturbed to discover that her new chum, Shaz Morrison, is acting as a mole for the leader of the Confederacy of Yoofs and begins a campaign of feeding the Yoofs disinformation … Lisa Sutton is rather miffed when she is red-carded for providing her fellow inmates with what she considers to be legitimate scientific data … Debs Morton recklessly japes the Dyke and gets up close and personal with the lethal two-tailed tawse … Claire Brooks suffers another hot and sweaty set-back to her reform program … Rosemary Booker contemplates sending a video of her red and swollen bum to her on-line lothario … Penny Ann falls foul of Patty Hodge’s interpretations of the origins of ethics … Nixdown explains the Rasmussen Principle … the Bounder if forced to cane her good chum Cassie Cassy and demonstrates her considerable prowess with the whippy stick … Debs gets reacquainted with the Uzi paddle and then listens to a curious proposal from Jojo … Caroline Cassidy pays her daughters a visit at the Unit … Debs Morton takes a walk on the far side and investigates the effects of partial sensory deprivation while manacled across a vaulting horse … Nixdown Nixon hosts a ‘Put Up or Shut Up’ happening over in the stables … all this a much, much more so check back on Wednesday and enjoy the thrills and spills of life at Woodys … Bottoms Up! … RH

Sometimes You Just Have to Cane Your Best Chum

In today’s brand spanking new toon Bernadette Summers, aka the Bounder, finds herself faced with the unfortunate prospect of having to cane her best chum Lisa Sutton, aka the Minxster. As readers will know the notorious Bad Gal of the Woody Back to School Unit has recently been appointed to the prestigious position of Deputy Red-shirt and she knows that if she is going to maintain the respect of the inmates she cannot be seen to be cutting her chums any slack and gives Lisa a damn good thrashing … as usual Our Man in Phuket, Dave Ell has done a wonderful job with the characterizations (Frame 1 is a wonderful encapsulation of the incorrigible Bounder) … My Beloved Jojo and I will still be on vacation for a few days but I still hope to release the next installment of the Woody Back to School Unit Saga, ‘Volume 33 – A Formal Outing’ on Wednesday next week so be sure to check back … in the mean-time I am off in pursuit of lashings of Moose Drool … so kick-back and enjoy the toon … Bottoms Up! … RH

 

The Agony and the Ecstasy – A Brand Spanking New FREE Book

Hi Guys, this week’s FREE book is a day late due to My Beloved Jojo and RH taking a vacation in a remote, extremely picturesque but technologically challenged region of the US … however better late than never.

The latest spank-filled installment of the Woody Back to School Unit saga, ‘Volume 32 – The Agony and the Ecstasy’ picks up where last week’s book, ‘Volume 31 – A Meeting with Destiny’ left off.

Debs Morton had been alarmed to wake up to find that she was sporting a very ripe set of stripes on her rear end. She learns that the previous evening, while mildly inebriated, she had voluntarily bent over the end of her bed for six on the silks with a lethat super-cane from Christy Cranfield. This unusual turn of events causes Deborah to ponder the possibility that she is possessed by an inner spankette and that for the past decade and half she has sub-consciously been putting her bumbags in the way of fast moving canes, slippers and straps on purpose. In an effort to solve this mystery she engages the services of her good chum Nixdown Nixon to participate in an evening of experimental whops. Just click on the title of the book to learn the results in pdf format which as usual is absolutely FREE to our guests.

I will hopefully get around to sending Dave Ell a new brief for a brand spanking new Woody toon, so check back over the next few days … until then I am off in pursuit of a cold beer with the rather strange name of Moose Drool … kick back and enjoy the story … Bottoms Up! … RH

Thanks to Chross and More from Miss Nixdown Nixon

My appreciation to the hugely influential Mr Chross for featuring our recent two part toon in his Spanking of the Week round-up. What I like about Chross’s round-ups is the wide range of sites that he features demonstrating the vast array of talent and tastes amongst our eclectic community. I have found many new and interesting blogs due to his weekly listings. He generally also includes a link to the ‘In with the New’ listings featured by that other wonderful blogger Bonnie Burns over at My Bottom Smarts. I’m sure that everybody who has been fortunate enough to benefit from being featured by either of these sites will join me in thanking the host and hostess of these sites for the stellar work they do for the spanking world.

Today we feature another extract from A Life in the Day of Nixdown Nixon. This is the third in our Life in the Day series which has previously featured a birds-eye view of life at the Woody Back to School Unit from the perspective of the main protagonists Miss Jojo Heyworth and Debs Morton. Writing these stories has been an interesting challenge, not least because I am a gentleman of a certain age and not a twenty-seven year old woman. Nonetheless, I am having fun with the experiment as it gives me an opportunity to explore the characters that I have created from a different vantage point … I have been deeply gratified that several of my favorite bloggers have taken the time to email me and encourage me to continue with the experiment … I have added these two chapters to the work in progress version of the book and posted it in Library II … I hope you enjoy reading about the somewhat depraved Miss Nixon as much as I enjoy writing these pieces … its Saturday so crack open a bottle of chardonnay or whatever your favorite tipple may be and kick back and enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

Chapter 17 – Spanky, Christy and Cedric

Speak of the devil. A flame red Ferrari is approaching along the tree-lined driveway. The car belongs to Miss Spanky Botts and she will doubtless be accompanied by Christy Cranfield. Now I have occasionally been accused of being barking but I can assure you that I’ve got nothing on these two, they are both completely certifiable.

Before he sadly passed away Spanky was the muse and lover of the artist William Graham. She gained considerable notoriety for her habit of bending over the balustrade of their Venetian palazzo so she could be publicly caned by her lover. She even got honorable mentions as a tourist attraction in several alternative guide-books. I am personally quite partial to a little risqué exhibitionism but even by my standards that seems a little extreme.

Christy Cranfield was a successful banker before she chucked the towel in and became a full-time Woodette.

They are two of my favorite people.

I go down the steps and walk across the quad to greet them. They both avail of the services of my clobber consultant and are immaculately attired in Woody Clobber, Spanky is small and elfin and even if you didn’t know her you would suspect that she is a real minx. By contrast Christy is tall and elegant and could doubtless make a career as a super-model if she was so inclined.

We exchange hugs and the Spanky reaches back into the car and extracts an animal transporter.

“We’re flying directly to Zurich when we leave here on Monday. Christy has been invited as guest disciplinarian at a gala dinner of the Swiss Woodettes League. Unfortunately Cathy is hosting a spanking happening in Finland, and Karen is looking after the Café,” she says by way of explanation, “Jojo and the Grand Master said that they will look after Cedric while I’m away.”

Cedric is an African Grey parrot and he talks a lot. However, Cedric is not much given to making the normal ‘pretty Polly’ type comments. His vocabulary is strictly limited to making astute observations about spanking. I suppose that is hardly surprising considering that he has been hand-reared by a die-hard spankette like Spanky.

Spanky Botts is a remarkable character and is responsible for promoting what has become widely known as the Whops and Clobber zeitgeist. After the tribunal she established the www.woodettes.com web-site and later opened Café Woodys, a watering-hole designed specifically to satisfy the needs of the international spankette set. Christy Cranfield is her partner and the resident ‘Mistress of Discipline’. Christy is ideally suited for this line of work.

She was the President of Posh, the equivalent of Headgal, at the notoriously strict Queensgate Academy boarding school. Apparently she had frequent reason to cane Debs who was a pupil at the school and Deborah says that she always caned very hard.

On several occasions Christy has been kind enough to join Penny Ann and I in the stables so that we could sample her wares and I can assure you that for once Deborah was not exaggerating. Christy Cranfield is the mistress of the rod. Penny Ann is not quite as partial to having her bum whapped as I am and after an initial experimental six of the best she has declined to allow her bum within six feet of Christy’s cane.

I, on the other hand, found the experience divinely delicious and might well feel inclined to avail of Christy’s skills sometime over the weekend.

I help Christy with their bags while Spanky takes Cedric over to the Grand Master’s quarters where they have installed a cage.

Spanky and Christy pay serious quantities of wedge for the privilege of staying at the unit. Ostensibly they are employed as IT consultants but in actuality they come here to get their kicks and to savor the full Woody experience. I tell you, they are both certifiably barking.

As we cross the quad wheeling the cases the conversation turns to whops and I inform her that half a dozen gals had already been whopped and it was only just lunch-time.

She chuckled, “Weekend madness. It’s the same everywhere. Back at Queensgate Monday was always my busy day as the gals weren’t whopped at weekends. One Monday evening I had to pop a dozen gals,” she recalled.

“I bet Debs was one of them,” I comment.

She shook her head. “No during my term Debs was always thrashed last thing on Friday nights, but the Bounder was amongst them and if I recall correctly I had to give her the max. Poor love.”

“How did she take it?” I ask.

Christy chuckled again. “You know the Bounder she curled her lip at me contemptuously and made out it didn’t hurt. But in private she would always tell me when I had got her good.”

“Were you chums?” I ask.

“Well not really chums, she wasn’t with us for more than a few months before she was called upon to appear at her father’s trial and after that she was sent to reform school,” she replied. “I didn’t see her again until she was in the stand at the tribunal.”

We go into the Old Gals quarters and drag the suitcases up to the top floor.

“So guest disciplinarian huh?” I grin. “Well if you need some target practice I’m always available.”

Christy giggles. “I’m sure that I could accommodate you,” she tells me. “When’s a good time.”

“Any time is a good time but it’s probably best to wait until tomorrow, I’m too busy today playing Duty Monitor for having any fun before the feast.”

Chapter 18 – Divinely Bonkers

I take another quick spin around the campus to check for signs of mischief or malfeasance. The recreation area is quite crowded with groups of gals playing, poker, whist, gin rummy and backgammon. Bernadette and Lisa are mingling. Every now and again Bernadette would reach under her skirt and extract a sheaf of bank-notes and make her pay-outs. Lisa religiously recorded each transaction on her smart-phone.

I decide to go upstairs and change my blouse. As I enter the Elite landing I can hear Lady Derby berating Yvonne and Janet for sub-standard grubbing. I can also hear Yvonne arguing petulantly. Finally Derby runs out of patience.

“If you would prefer I can write you up for slacking and Miss Morton will take you up to the library for six when she comes back from training,” she snaps.

“Noooooooooooo!!!” I hear Mitch the Bitch wail. What a muff.

Janet Mitchell is an odious and spineless creature. For years she was Yvonne’s lieutenant in the Confederacy of Yoofs and when they were inmates she was in charge of dirty ops. She generally made sure she was in the company of her enforcers Ivan the Terrible and Spanker Spage when she got up to her nefarious activities.

One time a few years ago I caught her out and about on her own trying to strong-arm protection money out of one of the grubbies. I intervened and Janet tried to get haughty with me so I biffed her on the snooter, which took her by surprise as she is quite a lot taller than me. She boo-hooed like a baby.

As a result of this little altercation we were both sentenced to be publicly flogged. Now I have to tell you a public flogging is tough duty but we are Woody gals and we are expected to accept our fate with a certain degree of stoic pride. Clearly Janet never got the email. In Ms Lawton’s office she made a complete ass of herself weeping and pleading and putting all the blame on me.

Now Ms Lawton was a wily bird and she was having none of it. She knew that I only went into the hooter bopping business with good reason. She told Janet to quit with the waterworks and when Mitch the Bitch continued to blub the Grand Dame put her over her knee and gave her something to blub about.

It was even worse in the hall. We were sentenced to nine strokes each. I went first. Ms Lawton was an expert with a cane and she whopped the piss out of me. Now this might have been rather pleasant under different circumstances, a damned good flogging mixed up with a little exhibitionism, what more could a gal ask for? But as I have emphasized earlier Nixdown does not like having my bum whapped under such circumstances so I was feeling extremely grumpy. My disposition was not greatly helped by Mitch the Bitch standing there sobbing and muttering pleas and generally distracting me from getting into the zone. It was all most fucking disagreeable.

Ms Lawton really did a number on me and by the time I unfolded myself from over the vaulting horse steam was coming off my whopping bags and I was even grumpier than before.

Nonetheless I could not help grinning when Janet was finally persuaded over the horse. Ms Lawton had to threaten her with the ultimate indignity of being held down by several members of the Elite before she could get Janet into position and then the fun started. The brouhaha was unbelievable. For a gal who would later show such enormous elation at setting off fire-crackers inside the inmate’s bumbags she sure didn’t care much for being on the receiving end.

I can’t resist poking my head around the door.

“Is everything okay?” I ask idly.

Derby snorts. “I can’t believe these two fools, they can’t do anything without me peering over their shoulder.”

Yvonne glowers at her hatefully. Janet pretends to be busy dusting a counter-top.

I grin. “Looks like you have them under control,” I tell her. “I just stopped by to freshen up and change my blouse.”

“Would you like some assistance Ma’am?” she asks keenly. “Why don’t you touch up your make-up while I lay out a new blouse for you and then I can brush your hair?”

I do my best to suppress a smile. Lady Derby Huntington is a very queer fish and has more than a few bats loose in the belfry. I have never seen anybody so committed to the fine art of grubbing. When she arrived at Woodys nobody knew what to expect. She was the ‘It’ gal of the Ladette party scene and has been in the news since her mother gave birth just minutes after her father had just won the Derby. Her chaps are incredibly wealthy and they boast the largest staff of butlers, footmen and maids in the nation.

I suppose we expected a spoiled brat but nothing could be further from the truth. She is just simply divinely bonkers. And by the way this is a young lady who really enjoys whops, and I mean REALLY enjoys them. … To Be Continued

Brand New Spanking Toon Part 2 (with Part 1 as a bonus)

Yesterday’s original toon featured Debs Morton questioning the sanity of voluntarily offering up her bare bum for a gratuitous caning … today we can observe the results of her further investigations into the possible existence of an Inner Spankette.

As usual Dave Ell has done a fabulous job of bringing this episode to life so kick-back and I’ve included Part 1 and Part 2 for those of you who missed yesterdays post (shame on you) … further revelations about this incident will be available on Wednesday 18th August when we will release the latest installment of the Woody Back to School Unit saga, ‘Volume 32 – The Agony and the Ecstasy’ … enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

 

 

 

Two Brand New Toons – Part 1 – Debs and Friends

On Saturday nights it has become a ritual that, following the feast in the Great Hall, Debs Morton, Spanky Botts and Christy Cranfield repair to the notorious Punishment Room in the east wing of the Woody Back to School Unit to engage in some recreational caning. Deborah is happy to indulge her chums’ penchant for pain but sensibly she chooses to remain at the safe end of the cane. However, one evening after Deborah has a few too many glasses of bubbly she wakes in the morning to find a set of sizzling stripes on her bum. After some discrete enquiries she discovers that after caning Spanky and Christy she has gotten carried away in the heat of the moment and invited Christy to her study to give her a good-night thrashing (in the book ‘Volume 31- A Meeting with Destiny’ Debs actually gets caned across the seat of her black and red striped silk jimjams but somehow there was some confusion in the communications with Dave Ell … but no matter).

Deborah is alarmed that she has little recollection of the incident and struggles to understand her motivation for engaging in such lunacy. For over a decade and a half Deborah Morton’s bumbags had been laid siege to by a wide array of canes, crops, straps, slippers, hair-brushes, a wide variety of kitchen utensils and just about anything else that happened to be handy. In her own words Debs says that ‘trouble has followed me about like a bad case of flatulence’.

Debs begins to suspect that she might be secretly harboring an inner spankette. Fortunately for Deborah there is no shortage of confidantes at the Woody Back to School Unit for her to discuss such matters of high importance.

Desperate to get to the bottom of all this she asks her degenerate chum Nixdown Nixon whether she would like to spank her. “Of course I would,” responds Nixdown, “everybody wants to spank Debs Morton.” Debs does not much care for this response but nonetheless she decides to make an appointment with Nix in the stables and to embark upon a meeting with destiny.

As usual Dave Ell has done a fabulous job of bringing this episode to life so kick-back and enjoy and check back tomorrow for the gloriously graphic Part 2 … Bottoms Up! … RH

 

 

 

A Meeting with Destiny – A Brand Spanking New FREE Book

It’s Wednesday once again and time for the launch of the latest installment in the Woody back to School Unit saga, ‘Volume 31 – A Meeting with Destiny’ just click on the title for an absolutely FREE download in pdf format.

My apologies for this rather abbreviated post but the idiosyncratic vagaries of my client are something of a distraction … so please feel free to download the latest story … and check back tomorrow as I have TWO sensational new Woody toons to share with you … until then kick-back and enjoy the shenanigans of the Woody Gals at your leisure … Bottoms Up! … RH

More from Miss Nixdown Nixon

Just a few more idle thoughts from Miss Nixdown Nixon … For ease of reading I have decided to start preparing the book version and have posted it in Library II under ‘A Life in the Day of Nixdown Nixon (Work in Progress)’ and will keep it updated as I write new chapters … it’s Sunday afternoon (at least it is here) so splash out on a mimosa or pour a Bloody Mary and enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

Chapter 15 – A Spanking for Rosie

Penny Ann gave me a thorough whipping, which is of course what I wanted. Over the space of several hours I took four trips over Pen’s knee including the initial hand-spanking. I have a healthy level of pain-tolerance and like my chum Claire years in the saddle has probably worked to my advantage and toughened up my bum considerably. These are of course useful attributes when you are planning a night of extended benders.

I am still reveling in my warm memories when I hear the click of heels in the corridor below. I assume that it is Deborah making her way up to the landing to cane the twins.

The library is in a secluded wing of the main building and the click of Debs heels echo in the empty hallways. The twins continue to face the wall with their noses pressed to the woodwork. However tempting they are both aware that they must not move until they are given the release command. The nose and toes protocols are very specific; their noses must never leave the varnished paneling and no matter how leaden their arms become their elbows must never make contact with the wall.

It takes several minutes for Debs to mount the four flights of stairs and make her way up to the landing. Her footsteps are getting louder as she makes her final approach.

Over the years I have spent more time than I wish to recall outside the library waiting to be caned. No matter how whop-hardened you become it is impossible not to begin to get nervous as the unpleasant conclusion to your wait approaches.

Debs is smartly dressed in her Elite clobber and even her collar and tie are neatly fastened. It is a far cry from the old Debs who often used to resemble an unmade bed.

“Have you asked them whether they wish to appeal?” she asks me.

“They have declined to appeal and do not wish to talk about the incident,” I tell Debs, “they say it is private business and they just want to be whopped as soon as possible so that they can get on with their day.”

“Very well,” she says. “Thank you Nix, I’ll take it from here,” and then addressing the twins she tells them to lower their arms and to proceed to the punishment room.

I must confess that I admire the brisk and unemotional way that Deborah conducts her business in these situations.

In her daily life Debs can be mercurial which of course makes her erratic and unpredictable and she can sometimes be downright grating on the nerves. However when she is on duty as the Elite Disciplinarian she is level-headed and courteous, she puts her game face on and gets on with business. I suppose she learned that from her years as a professional sportswoman, but it is certainly an admirable quality.

I feel a pang of sympathy for the twins as they trudge through the heavy doorway to the library and the austere room at the back that is used exclusively for the business of whops. Of course as we are both members of the Elite I have never been caned by Deborah. She gets astonishing ratings on the GalGab web-site for technical merit, artistic quality and for the all-important heat factor. I have tried to coerce her to come down to the stables so that I can sample her wares but she always turns the suggestion into a joke and changes the subject. However, I am relentless in such matters and do not care for being refused. I shall eventually prevail.

The door closes with a dull thud so my duty is done. I decide to go back to the cafeteria.

The cafeteria is surprisingly quiet, everybody has stopped chattering and I immediately discover why. The sounds emanating from behind the plastic curtains of the kitchen are unmistakable. Some poor soul is over Dotty Hammell’s knee getting a damn good spanking. The gals in the main room are exchanging knowing glances but keep silent out of respect.

Within minutes Rosemary totters out from the kitchen area. Her pretty moon-face is flushed and she looks slightly shell-shocked. She is dressed in an electric pink chef’s blouson, black cargo baggies and a matching beanie.

“I hate that fucking spatula,” she mutters.

“Let me guess, you were late for kitchen duty because you were on-line gabbing with the Foxy-one,” I observe.

She just nods and wriggles over to a tray full of used beakers that need to be put in the dish-washer.

Dotty Hammell is the Dame in Charge of Gastronomic Affairs. She is an absolute dote and very minx-friendly. However the one thing that she will not tolerate is tardy-timekeeping.

Rosemary is one of the most disorganized gals that I have ever met and her inability to maintain schedules has played merry hell with her bumbags in the past. Her natural inclination for leaving things to the last minute has not been improved by the added distraction of her on-line affair with her cyber-lothario who operates under the nickname of the Silver Fox.

Rosemary wriggles back towards the kitchen carrying her load. I have no doubt that she is in considerable discomfort. The wooden spatula was first introduced during Wooden Saturday during the Great Spank-off and proved to be the Achilles heel of some of the Unit’s most whop-hardened veterans. The broad flat head packs an incredible amount of smart and sting.

I had the misfortune of going over Dotty’s knee last year and I can assure you that the spatula is a lethal weapon in the punishment arena, but that is not to say it should excluded from consideration for recreational purposes.

Chapter 16 – She Whops Very Hard

I grab an apple and decide to go over and visit Pen. As I said earlier being Duty Monitor can be quite tedious and involves a lot of mooching about.

When the Old Gal program was introduced Mr Humphries took two tithe barns and renovated them into small but quite sumptuous apartments. Pen’s is on the ground floor and I punch the pass code onto the number pad and go inside.

Pen is showered and dressed. She is wearing a black turtle neck sweater, cream jodhpurs and knee-length riding boots. She comes over and gives me a hug and a kiss.

“How’s it going?” she asks.

“Well, Ginger, Melons, Claire and the Bond Twins have all been caned and Rosie just got spanked by Dotty and it’s not even midday,” I sigh.

She chuckles. “Well Saturdays were always busy. I can’t tell you how many Saturday nights I was hauled up to Patty’s office to have my face chewed off for allowing the unit to fall into disrepute. Stupid fawkin’ be-yotch.”

Penny Ann had the misfortune of being elected Red-shirt during a dark period in Woody history known as Operation Scorched Arse. Poor Pen, she was the last person who wanted the job but the prevailing politics of the time left her with no alternative other than to accept the commission. She had a dreadful time of it trying to curb the heinous activities of Patty’s sponsored goons from the Secret Sorority of Serial Spankers, aka, the SS.

Pen picks up a riding hat, leather gloves and her crop. I envy her. There is nothing more invigorating than a long hard ride across the Downs after a week in the lecture rooms.

As we are leaving the apartment we happen upon Claire coming down the stairs. She is also dressed for the ride.

“So you’re going to risk putting you bum in the saddle,” I giggle.

She grimaces a little. “I am still absolutely sizzling,” she groans, “but if I let a sore arse get in my way I’d never get anything done.”

Spoken like a true Woody gal.

I watch Pen and Claire’s retreating backs as they head towards the stables and return to my rounds.

Across the quad I see Ronnie and Reggie coming out the main building. Surprisingly they are arm in arm.

I amble over to meet them.

“How was it?” I ask.

“She whops …” started Ronnie.

“Very hard,” finished Reggie.

I am fond of the Twins. They used to play in a fairly successful retro-mod band. Ronnie was the front woman and Reggie played drums. Ronnie had a huge following, despite being quite petite she has a huge pair of lungs and an incredible vocal range. She used to dress in these beautiful tailored tonic mohair suits with tab collared shirts and skinny ties, and wear her hair in a bee-hive. The music pundits had them destined for glory but they had a minor problem. Their fans were extremely enthusiastic and were much given to trashing the joints that they played in. The Dark Agents smelled some easy prey and shortly the Twins were exchanging mohair suits for Woody clobber.

“The closer was,” said Ronnie.

“A real killer,” finished Reggie.

It can be quite bewildering conversing with the twins. The only way to tell them apart is by the ‘R’ and ‘V’ on the bibs of their gymslips, and even that can be misleading. They like to fuck with the heads of the Brass by swapping clothes so half the time nobody is quite sure who they are actually scolding or thrashing. It is quite bizarre.

“We’re going to,” said Ronnie.

“Try to walk them off,” said Reggie.

“Good luck with that I tell them,” and leave them to go about their business.

It is turning into a pretty day and the quad and recreation areas are beginning to fill up with groups playing bridge, poker and backgammon. I go back up the flight of steps to the balcony that will give me the best vantage point.

Debs comes up and joins me, she has changed into her tennis gear and is carrying several racquets.

“I’m going to knock up for an hour with Rachel,” she tells me. “Hopefully you won’t be needing my services.”

“Ronnie and Reggie said you did a good job,” I tell her.

She flushes slightly. Despite being very good at her job I think she is still getting used to being at the end of the cane that she is not quite as familiar with. When I first met her she was always talking about how many times that she got caned at school. Of course, I thought she was blowing smoke as Deborah is not averse to embellishment on a grand scale. However when her shocking record as the most caned pupil in the nation’s history was made public at the Tribunal, I was forced to concede that her bumbags have seen some very serious action.

“I didn’t give them anything special,” she says a tad defensively.

“Why don’t you come to the stables tonight and give me something special,” I tease her.

She rolls her eyes. “You really are barking aren’t you Nix,” she laughs and starts off down the stairs.

“Why not?” I call after her. “You cane Spanky and Christy. Why not me?”

She stops momentarily and looks back at me. “That’s different,” she says and hurries on her way. … To Be Continued

The Naughty Gene and Compulsive Impulsive Behavior Syndrome

I have always been fascinated by the existence of the ‘Naughty Gene’ in the human make-up … in an earlier post I cited the findings of the University of Michigan that a ‘naughty’ or ‘rebel’ gene exists in everybody to some extent in the form of a serotonin gene, a chemical in the brain which has been linked to the control of emotions and mood, like any other gene it is more prevalent in some people than others … in our upcoming release of the latest installment of the Woody Back to School Unit saga, ‘Volume 31 – A Meeting with Destiny’, Debs Morton finds herself pre-occupied by whether her personality is dominated by an over-active naughty gene or the possibility that she has always had an ‘Inner Spankette’ without ever knowing it.

I have written in the past about a young lady I schooled with who was probably the World’s naughtiest gal. Penny (not her real name) seemed absolutely incapable of staying out of trouble. She spent a considerable amount of time either standing in the corner, being told that she would be required to ‘stay behind tonight’ which was the rather clumsy code for being told she was in for a spanking, or sent up to the Deputy Headmistress’s study for the cane. Penny is the general role model for all of the Woody Gals but most particularly of Debs Morton.

In developing the characters of the four main protagonists Jojo, Debs, Nixdown and Rosemary I have tried to develop contrasting personalities and motivations for each of them. Although they have all embraced the subterranean cult of mega-minxdom they each approach the life-style slightly differently.

Jojo is highly competitive and once she read the secret manifesto of the mega-minxes she was determined to rise to the very top of the Bottoms Up Table of Troublemakers. She establishes personal targets and pursues them doggedly.

Although Nixdown is a die-hard masochist she despises any form of formal punishment and begrudges the austere world that she has been banished into. She is a rebellious and belligerent cove by nature and many of her conflicts with the Brass and the Elite result from her refusal to acknowledge their authority despite the obvious risks to her bumbags.

For a large part of the saga Rosemary Booker is blessed with a rather unique quality in as much that she is relatively impervious to pain. As a result she views getting whopped as nothing more than a minor inconvenience. Unfortunately for Rosie, during the Great Spank-off’ she experiences an unpleasant epiphany when she becomes over-whelmed by pain for the first time. In the latter part of the saga Rosemary continues to lark, prank, goof and jape with the best of them but she does her best to limit her minxing activities to a level that will not actually result in her being required to bend over.

Debs Morton is perhaps the most complex of the characters and possesses the most hyper-active naughty gene of the quartet. By her own confession, ‘trouble seems to follow me around like a bad case of flatulence’. She laments her days at preparatory school where she ended almost every day being sent to stand in the corner. Subsequently at boarding school her behavior continued to decline and she was in constant trouble with the Dames resulting in her attaining the unenviable record of becoming the most caned pupil in national history. At Woodys her mercurial personality causes her to make many powerful and dangerous enemies and her bumbags remain under constant threat. Deborah claims to suffer from chronic Compulsive Impulsive Behavior Syndrome and believes that she has an alter-ego that she calls ‘The Imposter’ that causes her to constantly feel the need to be naughty.

I often wonder about my old friend Penny and what made her so monumentally naughty. Pen was not a mean-spirited person; she was cheerful, bright, funny and an incredible sportswoman. She was the only girl invited the boys end to play in our endless games of football where she excelled with her courage and agility as a goalkeeper. I don’t think that she was even unpopular with the teachers, more of a frustration and an enigma. Nobody seemed to understand her motivations for spontaneous naughtiness. I don’t know how many times that she was spanked or caned but I’m sure that her record was quite spectacular even back in the day when corporal punishment was used frequently.

After we changed schools I only saw her a few times, mostly we just shot the breeze, she seemed to like her new environment but she did comment that the nuns caned really hard, so I assume that she had not overcome her behavioral flaws.

In Volume 31 Debs grapples with her disciplinary difficulties and her own fatal behavioral flaws … as usual the latest installment will be released on Wednesday, August 11th absolutely FREE for download in pdf format … so come and join Debs on her personal voyage of discovery and her meeting with destiny … until then it’s Saturday so pamper yourselves and pour a glass of lunch-time wine … kick-back and have a good old rummage around the libraries and galleries … it’s all FREE and commercial free … enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

The Bounder – Two New Toons for the Price of One

I have always enjoyed writing the character of the irreverent and somewhat larcenous Bernadette Summers, aka the Bounder. Her character is loosely based on a young lady who worked for me some years back. What Bernadette (not her real name) lacked in diligence and work ethic was more than compensated for by her charm, dusky beauty and extreme good-humor. She had a remarkable talent for scarfing down vodka and lime and she amply made up for her lack of interest in administrative duties with an endless supply of dodgy goods for sale that one can only assume had fallen off the back of a lorry. If ever there was a young lady that was born to be spanked regularly it was Bernadette but sadly at the time political correctness was already beginning to encroach in the work-place and putting your admin assistant over your knee was largely frowned upon by the humorless HR wallahs.

As usual our Man in Phuket, Dave Ell, has done a magnificent job in bringing the Bounder to life in this little yarn ripped from the headlines of the latest installment of the Woody Back to School Unit saga, ‘Volume 30 – Malicious Obsessions’, which is of course available absolutely FREE for download from Library I … I really like the artwork so I have included two versions for your enjoyment so kick-back and enjoy  Bottoms Up! … RH

 

 

 

 

Malicious Obsessions – Brand New FREE Spanking Book

We are pleased to release ‘Volume 30 – Malicious Obsessions’… as usual there is plenty of activity going on in the Poor Beleaguered Bumbags of the inmates of the inmates of the Woody Back to School Unit and also some good old fashioned mystery and intrigue as we begin to discover the dark forces behind their incarceration … I am currently caught up in a business and travel whirlwind so I do not have much time for myself … in the meantime just download the FREE pdf file …. Kick-back and enjoy … Bottoms Up! … RH

Malicious Obsessions – Coming Soon

We are pleased to announce that ‘Volume 30 – Malicious Obsessions’ of the Woody Back to School Unit saga will be available absolutely FREE for download on Wednesday 4th August … read all about the ultra-cool Cat Cassidy and her chum Melons bending over their desks waiting to be absolutely creamed by Pauline Cassidy … the callous Dame known to the Woody Wags as the Wart being forced to bend over in front of the fireplace in the punishment room to be thrashed by her arch-nemesis Debs Morton … and why does Debs voluntarily bend over the end of her bed for six on the silks from Christy Cranfield? Has she discovered her Inner Spankette? … Cassie Cassy continues her hell-bent pursuit of fame on the Bottoms Up Table of Troublemakers while still finding time to provide the Woody Gals with extreme gastronomic delights … these are just a few highlights of the new volume which also continues to chronicle the heroines of the Woody Back to School Unit’s struggles against the heinous Malicious Forsham-Smythe and the Dark Agents of the System … so set your calendars … but in the meantime it is Sunday so kick back with a mimosa or a Bloody Mary and have a good old rummage around the libraries and galleries … Bottoms Up! … RH