Category Archives: Birthday Spanking

Merry Xmas and some spanking good last minute stocking fillers

Happy Christmas From Jojo and RH 1Greetings old friends … Betimes the means that makes us strangers, or so said Willy the Shake … As we come up to the festive season I thought that I’d round off the year with a couple of shout-outs, some news and other minutia.

For those of you that are still looking for a few last minute stocking fillers here are a couple of great ideas … My good friends flopsy and Februs over at the Kilahara Library of Spanking Fiction have released seven brand new volumes of Christmas spanking stories … With a combined total of 222,500 words, there is probably something for everybody’s tastes amongst the collection … So I encourage you to cut along sharpish to LSF Publications Xmas Library and stuff your Christmas stockings with some of these last minute goodies.

Another equally enticing stocking-filler is the latest offering from Janus Worldwide who have published Encore Number 10 featuring 85 pages of full sized pictures (some hitherto never previously published) featuring the iconoclastic Nicola Redway and her equally beguiling partner-in-crime Priscilla Waters … the two young ladies appeared in two photo essays (Janus 23 and Janus 46) which are generally considered by genre aficionados as the finest adult schoolgirl spanking sets ever published … Be bold and treat yourself!!!

For the past year the WB2SU site has generally remained open as a repository for the collection of books and cartoons that make up the Woody Back to School Unit Saga … I would like to thank the many visitors who still stop by and rummage around the libraries and galleries … there’s lots to read and lots of original toons to view and its all ABSOLUTELY FREE and even better we keep the site COMMERCIAL FREE as well and that is how it will remain!!!

Before I close and return to a very fine Malbec that I am enjoying I’d just like to play tribute to a couple of sites that just manage to keep tirelessly contributing to the well-being and growth of the entire spanking community … Happy Christmas to Bonnie Burns at My Bottom Smarts , Hermione at Hermione’s Heart , D J Black at the Voice in the Corner , Valdor at The Spank Statement , Brushstrokes at The Spanking Spot , and, of course, finally to Mr Chross, enough said … Long may you all blog.

Of course no WB2SU round-up couldn’t include a shout-out to Our Man from Phuket, the legendary booze-hound and general Scouse Scallywag Dave Ell who I commissioned to draw the 100+ cartoons featured in the galleries and who I would HEARTILY endorse as a collaborator … This is one of my all time favorites and the full story surrounding Deborah’s unfortunate late night caning can be found in Library II in the volume aptly titled  A Bedtime Beating , which as usual is ABSOLUTELY FREE … Please have a very safe and enjoyable festive season … Bottoms Up … RH

Woody Toon 29

The Woody Gang’s Been Nominated!!!

The Woody GangMy thanks to the guest who nominated our site for inclusion in the Spanking Spot’s Creative Site of the Year award category … My thanks, also, to Brush Strokes, the spanking scenes most eminent political pundit for hosting these prestigious and coveted awards and … Finally my congratulations to my fellow nominee’s who all have wonderfully creative sites and are some of the hardest working bloggers amongst our community.

Over the past year we transformed the Woody Back to School Unit site to become more of a repository for the ongoing saga, which is now comprised of forty-one volumes, (with more on the way) all collected in Library I, and numerous other Woody related stories stored in Library II … The galleries display in excess of one hundred original Woody cartoons that were created in collaboration with Dave Ell … Our intent is to continue to maintain and update the site as new Woody material and, or, other interesting spanking related material becomes available … So please continue to watch this space and remember that everything at the Woody Back to School Unit is completely original and ABSOLUTELY FREE and even better we keep the whole site ABSOLUTELY COMMERCIAL FREE as well.

I think that one of our successes this year was to modernize the look of the site and especially to make it more accessible and reader friendly on most portable devices and to make it work better with a wide variety of browsers … hopefully all our guests are enjoying a more satisfying reading experience on every available medium … if anybody has a problem with a particular browser or device let us know and we will try to rectify … Once again my thanks for the nomination … Bottoms Up! … RH

Greetings from the Woody Gang on Love Our Lurkers 7

Hi Y’all … Although I now mainly use the blog as a repository for the forty-one full-length volumes of the Woody Back to School unit saga and as a gallery for the hundred plus original Woody Toons that I commissioned from my old mucker and general wine-soak Dave Ell I am still flattered by the considerable traffic the site continues to attract and I can assure you that I very much appreciate your visits.

Like most writers I enjoy receiving feedback about the books and am always more than happy to respond to questions regarding the saga so please don’t hesitate to leave comments and I will respond as soon as possible.

As usual I would like to thank the inimitable Bonny over at the legendary My Bottom Smarts for organizing LoL 7 and a big hi to everybody who is participating in this event.

Finally folks I am closing in on finishing the latest installment of the Woody Back to School Unit, “Volume 42 – The Final Flogging” so watch this space … as usual I am pleased to invite you to stay and have a good old rummage around the Libraries and Galleries … there’s plenty to look at and read and it’s all ABSOLUTELY FREE and even better we keep the site COMMERCIAL FREE as well … so kick-back and enjoy …. Bottoms Up! … RH

Brand New Look to Woodys – Feedback Requested

Finally I have found a new look for the site that seems to work on desktop, laptop and mobile devices … I will slowly go back through some of the older posts and see if I can clean them up but mostly I am trying to make the new material as user friendly as I can … so if you have a particular device, or use a browser where the site is not looking good please let me know and we’ll see what we can do … I will also reinstate the blogroll as soon as I understand how this new theme works … Thanks from all of us at the WB2SU … Bottoms Up! … RH 

Six Red Bums Award for Flopsybunny

I have long been a fan and contributor to the the Kilahara Library of Spanking Fiction which is very ably hosted by Februs, Flopsybunny and a team of diligent spanko volunteers … most recently they have begun to publish a periodic web-zine bearing the creative masthead ‘The Wellred Weekly’ … the WW is now at Issue Five and features a wide variety of spanking focused articles, news and interviews … this splendid new publishing venture has already attracted contributions from a representation of some of the grandee’s from the spanking writing and blogging community … hearty congratulations to Editrix-in-Chief, Flopsybunny for her hard work in bringing this magazine to fruition … the Woody Back to School Unit is pleased to show our appreciation by presenting Flopsybunny with the prestigious Six Red Bums Award for exceptional services to the international spanking community … Bottoms Up! … RH

A Woody Update … Message from Mr Humphries

Over the past few weeks I have received numerous emails enquiring after the state of my health and also, due to my recent lack of activity, whether I am closing the doors to the Woody Back to School Unit … the answer to the former is that touchwood I seem to have made a remarkable recovery from my unfortunate health misadventure, largely due to successfully giving up smoking (yay me) … and thank you all so much for your kind thoughts.

The answer to the latter question is slightly more complex … the simple answer is no, the WB2SU site will continue to remain open and will be updated whenever appropriate and new material is available … I have published thirty-nine full length installments of the Woody Back to School Unit saga and am slowly but inexorably reaching the conclusion of this account of the current phase of the lives of the many characters that inhabit the correctional center for Extreme Ladettes … my problem is that as a spanking writer my style has never been simply “Get over my knee”, “Down with the bumbags”, ‘Whap! Whop! Whap!’, End of Story! … Although spanking and corporal punishment is indubitably the central theme of the saga I have always tried to involve my characters in adventures (and misadventures) and to elaborate on the back-stories of what led them to be sentenced to spend seven years at this austere government correctional institution without even the vaguest possibility of parole … However, as I near the conclusion of the tale I find it increasingly challenging to avoid becoming repetitive and not recounting old back-stories that can be found elsewhere in the saga … That being said, the publication of the most recent volume ‘Volume 39 – Big Gals Don’t Cry’ was included in the highly influential Spankings of the Week listings published by the inimitable Mr Chross which attracted a host of brand new readers … I notice from the analytical data that WordPress provides me a whole slew of new guests have elected to go back and start at ‘Volume 1 – Whops and Clobber’, and slowly work their way through the complete saga, which, of course, I think is quite wonderful … I have also noticed this phenomenon over at the quite excellent Kilahara Library of Spanking Fiction where my saga has been show-cased for some time and continuously finds new readers and fans of the Woody Gals … so welcome to all of you and I hope that you find the stories and characters engaging and entertaining and continue to read.

Equally with the Woody Toons that I have commissioned and developed in collaboration with Our Man in Phuket, the legendary wine-soak Dave Ell , they started off as an experiment, I thought I’d try out a couple but over a nearly two year period I ended up purchasing over a hundred toons … again they are mostly based upon extracts from the saga that I felt were suitable for the cartoon genre … as I progress towards the conclusion of the story I can assure you that I will continue to commission Dave for new works when there is a good story to tell.

So, in the meantime, while I continue to produce new and original writing and toons please feel free to hang around at Woodys and have a good old rummage about … there are thirty-nine full volumes of the Woody Back to School Unit saga available for download in Library I and numerous other Woody related writings and ramblings in Library II … the galleries contain over a hundred completely original toons that I have commissioned from Dave … and you know what? … the best thing about this? … Everything at Woodys is ABSOLUTELY FREE and COMMERCIAL FREE … Bottoms Up! … RH

Woodys Invites Y’all to ‘Have a Good Rummage Day’

This weekend, thanks to the highly esteemed Mr Chross who generously featured the ‘Jojo and the French Dame’ post in his Spankings of the Week round-up, we have welcomed many new guests to the unit. Of course, many visitors just stopped by and looked at the featured post before returning to Chross’s page to continue clicking on the other wonderful sites on his list. Nonetheless over the past 48-hours (according to Statcounter) over ten per-cent of our visitors have stayed and spent over an hour at the Woody Back to School Unit.

It has always been my intention to make the page somewhere for people who share my eclectic taste in spanking writing and humor can feel comfortable to kick-back and just have a good rummage about … we now have six full installments from the Woody Back to School Unit saga available for download absolutely FREE to our guests and over forty completely original cartoons that have been created in collaboration with the world-renowned and very accomplished illustrator, Our Man in Phuket, Dave Ell … so for all our new visitors … it’s Sunday so please just take a load-off … pour a mimosa or a Bloody Mary … rummage about and enjoy … Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! … Bottoms Up! … RH


Bottoms Up!

I was gratified to observe my guest-counter click over 25,000 this morning after just three months and seventy-odd posts (some might say very odd … lol).

This may not seem a lot when compared to the larger more image and video orientated sites but I was extremely pleased when the ticker clicked over. So, thank you all so much for visiting.

I would like to give particular shout-outs to some of the wonderfully generous souls who have included me on their blog-rolls and sent traffic my way:

The Delightful and Very Generous Bonny over at My Bottom Smarts

London Lad Garth from Behind the Barred Window

The Infamous Chief at his well-visited Spanking Blog

The Inimitable Rascal Paolo in Dublin

The Charming and Entertaining Lady Karen

The Wonderful Todd and Suzy at About Spanking

The One and Only MarQe in his Study

Ian at the ambitious YEOWCH! page

The hard-working Mitch over at All Things Spanking

The Gentlemanly James Stephenson

Good Old Uncle Peter and his Spanking Stories

The highly amusing and off-the-wall Dante in his Paridiso

And Tiggr at A Spanking Good Time

My thanks to all of you and my sincere apologies for those that I might have missed.

Actually the number of hits is really kind of irrelevant in so much as some are just drive-bys. It is more gratifying to see the numbers of people who have read the individual blogs and have become regular visitors. Writing the Woody Back to School Unit saga has been something of a labor of love dating back almost a decade. It has been a time-consuming project; possibly overly time-consuming as I have been diverted from several other projects. Nonetheless I am blessed with by the fact that My Beloved Jojo is a huge supporter and also that I have enough flexibility in my working-life to indulge my habit. You can’t ask for much more than that!

Well I could … you could all cut along sharpish to the Woodettes Storefront and BUY THE BOOKS! … lol… Bottoms Up! Thanks again for stopping by and all your support … RH

Don’t Forget – Free Chapters of the Woody Back to School Unit spanking saga are available at the Woodettes Publications Page.

Woodys Hits 10,000 and Announces Three-Day Half-Price Book Sale

Remarkably my hit-counter just clicked over to five figures after just two months and fifty posts.

This may not seem a lot when compared to the larger more image and video orientated sites but I was extremely pleased when the ticker clicked over. So, thank you all so much for visiting.

I would like to give particular shout-outs to the wonderfully generous souls who have included me on their blog-rolls and sent traffic my way:

The Delightful and Very Generous Bonny over at My Bottom Smarts

The Inimitable Rascal Paolo in Dublin

The Charming and Entertaining Lady Karen

The Wonderful Todd and Suzy at About Spanking

The One and Only MarQe in his Study

The Gentlemanly James Stephenson

Good Old Uncle Peter and his Spanking Stories

And finally and most recently:

The Infamous Chief at his well-visited Spanking Blogg

My thanks to all of you.

Needless to say 10,000 hits has not translated into the equivalent amount of books sales. However as I have previously said this is primarily a vanity project so I hadn’t promised My Beloved Jojo that I’d be giving up my day-job anytime soon. The Woody Back to Unit Saga is comprised of over 5,000 pages and a million words. It took a lot of writing! However, as a thank you to all my visitors I am going to offer a 50% reduction on the prices of Downloads of Volumes 2-5 of the Woody Back to School Unit for the next seventy-two hours. (I am trying to make the offer good for Volume 1 but due to the vagaries of my publishing arrangements that is proving to be a test … but watch this space!)

Five books are available at the Woodettes Storefront … so hurry now while Stocks Last!

Please understand that this is not a garage sale. Even in the self-publishing world there are fixed costs and commissions, especially associated with the printed books, that I have absolutely no control over and this offer really gives hundreds of pages and thousands of my original words away for free and makes money for the capitalist owners … lol.

Bottoms Up! Thanks again for stopping by … RH

Don’t Forget – Free Chapters of the Woody Back to School Unit spanking saga are available at the Woodettes Publications Page.

Birthday Spankings, the Fine Art of Warmers, and a Magic School Hat

Free Chapters of the Woody Back to School Unit spanking saga are available at the Woodettes Publications Page.

Yesterday was R Humphries birthday so I was naturally compelled to put My Beloved Jojo over my knee and give her a damn good spanking. Now I know that is in conflict with US tradition but that’s the way it works at Chez Humphries.

I have to say that I am blessed. Not only is Jojo a confirmed and dedicated spankette but she has embraced my fantasy world of the Woody Back to School unit. She is of a theatrical bent which lends itself to role playing. When she presents herself for the evening’s activities she is immaculately dressed in full Woody clobber. She wears a pleated box-bibbed gymslip with a ‘J’ embroidered onto the front over a white blouse and red and black striped tie. She is bare-legged except for white ankle socks and a pair of highly-shone shoes. She is the model of a Woody Gal.

Jojo is an advocate of ‘warmers’. This is what we call a preliminary over the knee hand spanking that is designed to warm her up and help her get into the zone before the main event.

R Humphries is particularly fond of this ritual. There is nothing more intoxicating than Jojo offering me her left wrist, allowing me to guide her slowly downwards and maneuver her into the time-honored position. I love to savor the moment when she is head down and arse up, her arms and legs fully extended and the skirt of her gymslip still covering her shapely rear end.

After an appropriate interval I very carefully fold back her skirt and the tail of her crisp white blouse to reveal her tautened navy blue gossamer bumbags. I am a leisurely chap by nature so I take my time, giving her an initial dusting with her bumbags in situ. I have always liked that quintessentially British metaphor which I came across many years ago in a fanciful piece of seventies pop-lit. The book’s narrator complained that ‘the brute yanked me over his knee and dusted my drawers with a riding crop’. An unforgettable phrase in an otherwise entirely forgettable book.

Once I feel that Jojo is sufficiently initiated I proceed to roll down her bumbags. Of course this every red-blooded spanko’s Holy Grail. My personal preference is to lower them down all the way, until they are concertinaed around Jojo’s ankles. Once she is properly prepared, with her bottom bared to the elements, I like to leave a little time before proceeding so that she can give some consideration to her predicament. During a spanking I think that it’s important to mix things up, so I intersperse leisurely slow smacks with an occasional unexpected blitz attack.

I like to interject the proceedings by occasionally chiding her that she is a very naughty gal and then asking her “what are you?” and ‘what happens to naughty gals?” This rather amuses me as being bent like a bow over the old man’s knee is hardly the most conducive setting for pithy conversation. Nonetheless, despite her unfortunate circumstances my ever faithful wife always manages to respond in the most delightful manner.

Unlike other spanking situations a hand-spanking does not have a pre-determined duration so it is at my discretion to determine when I deem Jojo to be suitably warmed up. Jojo and I might have differing opinions in this regard but as I have her pulled in tightly to the crease of my lap she is at something of a disadvantage to exert much influence in the decision.

Having been brought up in the culture of six of the best my magic spanking number is six (or multiples thereof). I think that six sets of six on the bumbags and another similar quantity on the bare is an appropriate amount for warmers but I do not share this information with Jojo. When I have reached my target I do not immediately turn down her skirt. I like to leave her for a short time while she wonders whether we are finished or just taking a brief interlude before the next deluge begins. I am an amusing fellow in this regard and I like to keep Jojo guessing.

Discussing spanking is very much part of our dynamic, so once I have returned her to the vertical and she has adjusted her clobber we share a hug and have a debriefing. I believe that it is important to gauge her mood and state of readiness before we proceed. Spanking is an intimate partnership and in all the years I have been playing with Jojo we have never found the need for a safe word and we have never over-extended our games beyond her personal thresholds of combining pain with pleasure.

To keep things unpredictable Jojo’s spanking destiny is dictated by a random drawing from out of a straw boater. I have written a litany of ‘punishments’ on scraps of paper and placed them, neatly folded, in the boater, (for the uninitiated a straw boater is a flat-brimmed hat that was commonly sported by schoolgirls back in the day. While personally I considered them to look rather spiffy they were extremely unpopular with the girls who were required to wear them).

For the main event the magic hat determines that Jojo’s fate will be to receive twelve spanks with a leather paddle followed by six strokes of the cane. Jojo accepts this news with admirable stoicism.

The paddle that I select for the mission is shaped like a ping-pong paddle. The leather faces are secured over a delrin core making it quite stiff and unyielding. It is ideally designed for bare bottom, over the knee work. The advertising literature describes it as capable of producing a unique combination of smart and sting. Jojo is generally remarkably resilient but from the outset she is uncharacteristically responsive, kicking her ankles and pummeling her fists in the air. This particular paddle makes a deliciously juicy and rotund sound upon impact, which I find rather gratifying but I suspect that Jojo does not appreciate the sounds exploding in her ears. In an earlier post, ‘The World’s Naughtiest Gal and the Loud One’s Don’t Hurt’, I recall my old friend Penelope making this unlikely claim after she had been soundly slippered by an irate gym-mistress. Jojo is quite emphatic in her opinion that Penny must have had a few bats loose in the belfry.

At the halfway mark we take a breather. I can tell that Jojo is feeling rather whop-weary as she hangs upside down panting. I leave a full sixty seconds before embarking down the home straight. Jojo and I have discussed this technique of breaking up a spanking extensively. A minute might not sound like a long time but she assures me that prone face downwards across my knee with her bottom throbbing like a police beacon it feels like an eternity. She also says that is most somewhat emotionally bewildering as one half of her desperately wants to get it over with and the other half of her dreads the thought of another smack landing. We both agree that it is an effective ingredient in the overall anatomy of a spanking.

If I had not had a tight hold around her waist I am fairly sure that Jojo would have made good her escape, she showed definite signs of her desire to make a bolt for it. I had to adjust her position several times to make sure that she was teed up nicely for the next spank. Kudos to Jojo, though, despite her obvious discomfort she did manage to put it up and keep it up throughout the spanking and not a single howl crossed her lips.

As always I gave Jojo the option to bail-out of the second part of the event but she insisted that after a short break we should continue as planned. Half an hour later she bent over the bed with her hips propped up by a pillow and her bumbags around her ankles

I have been assured by the most respected and learned authorities that six strokes across the bare bum is tough duty under the best of circumstances. Jojo, of course, is not in the best of circumstances. Her bum was glowing a rather delectable shade of red and looked like I could have cooked the birthday steaks on it. I gave her a last chance for a reprieve but she steadfastly refused. I didn’t lay it on too thick but she wriggled and squirmed in consternation. Nonetheless, despite the furious fire obviously burning in her poor beleaguered bum she put it up and kept it up like a trouper.

So to my beloved Jojo, you are truly a superstar spankette and the best birthday present anybody could ever ask for. Bottoms Up, with luv from R.

Don’t Forget – Free Chapters of the Woody Back to School Unit spanking saga are available at the Woodettes Publications Page.