I’ve no doubt that at one time or another we have all fallen foul of the clutches of the constabulary for some minor misdemeanor, such as speeding or a parking violation. At the time it might well have occurred to you that the police-person was a little heavy-handed and you might have harbored a secret desire to even the score. Well, at Woodys, anything can happen … and often does.
Once again Our Man in Phuket, Dave Ell, has done an electrifying job in bringing this tale to life …enjoy … Bottoms Up! .. RH
One of our guests reported a problem with downloading ‘Volume 16 – The People’s Choice’ from the library … I have recreated the pdf file and reloaded and cannot recreate the problem … however I am very grateful for him taking the time to point this out … please if you ever find a problem just let me know and I will do my best to fix it asap.
Yesterday I left you with a cliff-hanger with the legendary Bounder finding herself over the knees of her boyfriends lap in the middle of a crowded restaurant … here is a very quick update to that story from the ongoing ‘A Life in the Day of Jojo Heyworth’ … the story will continue to unfold later this week but right now I am up to my armpits in cooking duties and a rather pleasant bottle of Merlot … so enjoy and cya soon … Bottoms Up! … RH
Chapter 33 – Unwritten Protocols
Although the heavy velvet curtain probably acts as something of a sound barrier I suspect that the guests in the main dining room are exchanging glances at the muffled sounds emanating from the VIP area.
Mickey is warming to his work and is dusting Bernadette’s bumbags with considerable vigor. The Bounder continues to protest loudly and the wild manner in which her legs are kicking leaves me in no doubt that Mickey’s huge hands are causing her considerable gyp. Bearing in mind that it just a few hours since she was last spanked with a wood-backed hairbrush one can only imagine that things are getting more than a little hot and sweaty inside the Bounders bumbags.
Former Police Sergeant Ellen Millar is perched up on a bar-stool. She watches this little drama with a slight smile on her face. Ellen has recently moved into the compound as our resident head of security. She is a real sweetie and fits in just fine.
Ellen was a highly decorated officer, she was the youngest female to achieve the rank of Sergeant and had a glittering career ahead of her. However she somehow fell in with bad company and the wheels began to fall off the wagon.
She accumulated several disciplinary black marks on her record for drinking on duty and tardy timekeeping. She was on the brink of being demoted when her superior officer decided to seek an alternative remedy.
By coincidence members of the local Plod were scheduled to visit the compound on unrelated business. Cat had been busted for possession of a few sticks of weed and a small quantity of whizz. To avoid her having to go before a hearing of the Dark Agents of the System Mr Humphries brokered a deal whereby she would submit to a spanking from Plod.
On the night of this rather unusual affair Ellen Millar was also escorted to the compound where at the request of her superior officer she would have her bottom warmed in lieu of making an appearance before Internal Affairs.
Ellen took a trip over Lady Victoria’s knee for a twenty-four crack double dangling. It has to be said that she put it up and kept it up like a true Woody trouper and instantly won a place in our hearts.
She also won a place in the heart of Bernadette’s godfather, Stacks Monroe. This affair of the heart caused certain difficulties. Apparently the authorities are rather sniffy over members of the constabulary philandering with one of the Smoke’s most notorious gangsters. It was agreed by all involved that she would make a career change and take over at the compound.
It transpires that Ellen Millar had something of a history as a minx and had been caned several times while she was at school. However apparently she had been a popular gal and had been odds on favorite to be voted into the position of Headgirl. According to Ellen a jealous opponent had masterminded a plot and been accused of vandalism. Although she assures me that she was innocent the dodgy opponent had manufactured compelling evidence to the contrary. Not only was Ellen kicked out of the contest to become Headgirl but to her huge disappointment she was also banned from becoming a prefect.
When he heard this story the Grand Master decided that it would be appropriate to make her an honorary member of the Elite. When she is on duty at the facility she wears her Elite clobber with three sergeant’s stripes sewn onto the sleeves of her blazer, but I digress.
Mickey is done with dusting the Bounders bumbags and is smoothing down her skirt and helping her back into the vertical. Bernadette’s expression is a picture of shock and awe. She just stares at Mickey in disbelief.
Mickey in contrast looks extremely pleased with himself.
“That was not funny,” mutters Bernadette in a small voice.
Mickey just winks at her and escorts her back to the dinner table.
There are certain unwritten protocols regarding this kind of incident. We will leave it to Bernadette to reveal the details surrounding her lover deciding it appropriate to put her over his knee in the middle of a crowded restaurant in her own time.
I do my best not to do anything so crass as to gawk but I can’t help noticing that Bernadette seems to have quickly overcome her initial shock and is engaged in another animated discussion with her boy-friend. I return my attention to the conversation at my own table.
After the unexpected interruption we decide to give Melanie some presents and birthday cards while we wait for the entrée to arrive.
Although she is officially an Old Gal she chose to stay on at the compound to study for her degree and is the first inmate to celebrate her thirtieth birthday at the Unit.
Melons has always been an important ingredient of life within our community. Cat might be justly revered as the architect of the cult of the Mega-minxes but Melons was always by her side at the vanguard of the struggle against the dark forces of the Radical Right and their goons from the SS.
We toast her liberally as she smiles prettily as she reads her cards and unfastens the ribbons and bows of the wrapping around her gifts … To Be Continued